


Asuka & Shinji's Infinite Playlist

by RLLRRR



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, Music
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 58,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27391354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RLLRRR/pseuds/RLLRRR
Summary: [A NGE Manga Post-Third Impact Story.]Picking up at a fateful encounter with a fiery foreign stranger, Shinji Ikari finds himself feeling the strangest sense of familiarity to the beautiful redhead. Everything appeared normal before that meeting, but now only his SDAT player holds the key to unlock the secret melodies of their shared past.---Follow the playlist on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6q6jhSf4snXySwL2JcXp5QA&SIP.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Souryuu Asuka Langley
Comments: 22
Kudos: 48





	1. I Guess We're Gonna Find Out

"Ow! Ow! OW! I said I'm getting off! Let me through!"

Shinji Ikari turned as he heard a voice; not a familiar voice, but not an unfamiliar voice. A voice he couldn't quite place but there wasn't any time to consider it as he heard the urgency.

"Are you okay?" he asked into a wall of bodies still on the subway car he had just left, looking around for the voice's owner.

A lone hand shot out and the voice commanded, "Grab my hand!"

Instinctively, Shinji obeyed, pulling the hand and voice from the crowd. As the owner emerged from the sub car, he saw fire red and ocean blue, both a rare sight in Japan. A young girl, about his age, now stood in front of him and his eyes locked onto hers, unable to decide what to do next: he'd never rescued anyone before.

"Thanks! You're a life-saver!" the girl smiled, pausing a moment before looking down at their still clasped hands. "But, um, you can let go now."

Still unable to tear away from her eyes, Shinji asked the only question he could conjure: "Have we met somewhere before?"

Her hand yet to be released, the redhead pulled away, "Ugh! Let go! I've never even seen you before!" Her tone was direct, but playful, "Are you hitting on me because I'm cute?!"

"Huh? Uh… no… no, not at all! I didn't mean…" Shinji wasn't usually this flustered. It was true he never really had a way with words, his speaking style was normally short. Confident, but short. But it didn't help that his mind was seemingly preoccupied with the strange sense of familiarity the girl brought on him.

Have _we met before?_ He asked himself. Was _I hitting on her?_

"No?" she asked as she turned, rubbing her chin. "That's irritating, too… Oh well."

For a fleeting moment Shinji felt like he needed to correct himself, as if he'd missed his shot, a chance at starting over with her.

 _"Starting over", what?_ He found himself questioning his subconscious again. _This is the first time I've ever seen her, why did I think "starting over"?_

He looked up again and saw her begin to walk off.

"Anyway, thanks for the help! Danke schön!" And she disappeared, her hair trailing behind like a gentle fire, leaving scorch-marks on his heart. But why did she leave such an impression on him?

_Maybe I'll get another chance to talk to her, she looked about my age. Maybe she's going to Myojo Academy, too?_

Shinji and about 400 other students from around the country were in Tokyo for entrance exams to the top private school in Japan. Invited to stay in the dormitory the night before the exam, there was a chance that he'd run into the redhead again.

 _At least I'll know one person there,_ he considered before his thoughts were interrupted for a second time that morning.

"Wow, she was cute!" came another fleetingly familiar voice from behind him, this time a young male. "And she looked feisty… Just my type! I guess Tokyo does have cute girls. Right?!"

"Huh?!" On the spot again, Shinji turned and answered with his best non-answer. He was greeted by a young boy, about his age, with messy brown hair and big, round glasses.

The bespectacled boy looked Shinji up and down. "Are you from the countryside, too? Taking exams? For Myojo Academy?"

Finally, something Shinji could answer. "Y-yes…" He found himself still off balance from the earlier encounter.

"Oh! Then we're rivals!" the other boy exclaimed with a slap on Shinji's back. "Let's give it our best shot!" And the boy set off, leaving Shinji back to his thoughts.

 _Ow…_ Shinji thought. He smiled softly and answered to himself, "Yeah… let's do our best."

He walked out of the subway station into the blistering cold of a Tokyo winter and took a deep, centering breath. A lot of uncertainty and excitement pulsed through his mind, so a brief moment to himself was calming.

 _I_ will _do my best. I will find my own path. It may be rough and winding, with driving wind and rain, and some days may be freezing cold. But, I know the sun will light the way,_ Shinji philosophized to himself. The road to here was long and arduous, but he had made a promise that he'd give his all for this exam.

Shinji paused, reaching into his jacket pocket to retrieve the earphones for his SDAT player and gently inserted them into his ears.

_My future holds infinite possibilities._

He looked up and smiled, a passing calm taking over after an unfamiliar morning. Ready to move forward toward that infinite future, Shinji pressed the PLAY button. Greeted by unfamiliar drums and guitars, the singer started:

 **I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world  
** **But it's feeling just like every other morning before  
** **Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone**

Shinji pressed the STOP button and pulled the player back out of his pocket, eyeing it suspiciously. _This isn't my tape. I've never heard this before._

He turned the SDAT player over in his hands, looking at it like he'd never seen it before. Seeing the faded "Ikari" engraved on the backplate, he knew this was indeed his. Well, _hers_ , but eventually it was found in a box, packed away and almost forgotten.

 _This is definitely mine. Did someone switch the tape?_ He tried to eject the tape, but it wouldn't budge. _That's definitely the same, I've been stuck listening to the same tape for months..._

Shinji shrugged and removed the earphones, resigning himself to his own thoughts for a bit while he moved towards the academy. Putting everything in the pocket of his coat, he continued through the snow storm.

 _What a strange morning,_ he recounted at a crosswalk. _Where do I know that girl from? She's almost familiar, like a distant dream._ Shinji chuckled, _Maybe I am dreaming. It would explain her smile._

Steeling himself against his nervousness, he pressed onward across the street. As he trudged towards the academy, Shinji kept a watchful eye out for anyone familiar. It was snowing hard enough that seeing anything recognizable would be difficult, but maybe he could spot a bright color.

Arriving early for exams was paramount, and with the unexpected snow storm tearing through Tokyo, even the local children were accepting the invitation to stay in the dorms the night before. The rest of his Sunday was wide open following check in and dropping his bag off in his room, and Shinji had arrangements to meet his best friend for lunch.

Pulling the door open, he found himself in a busy lobby. Dozens of children mingled throughout the open space, some waiting in the various check-in lines, others chatting with friends, and many more sitting and studying for the exam. Shinji scouted the lines, stood behind a newly familiar head of hair, and smiled to himself.

* * *

"I'm the second child."

"What?"

Shinji's eyes shot up for some reason and watched the exchange between the registrar and his new acquaintance. _What was that?_

"On the list: Aida Kensuke, after Agata Sara. The second one," he pointed at the list on a clipboard.

The first thought passed fleetingly and Shinji's mind moved on, _Kensuke Aida, huh? Well, now I've got a name to put to the face._

"Got it. You're in room 301, your roommate has already arrived. The breakfast buffet will be open at 7:30 and the test begins promptly at 9:00 tomorrow, don't be late. Remember, no outside materials are allowed: pencils, paper, and other items will be provided," the registrar explained.

"No problem, I get up at 0400 every day anyway!" Kensuke proclaimed to no one in particular.

The registrar faked a smile, handed him a keycard, and waved Kensuke on while Shinji shuffled to the front of the line.

"Ikari Shinji, sir," he offered. He'd heard the spiel four times already, hoping to be spared the details for a fifth time.

"Room 402. You're lucky, no roommate. The breakfast buffet will be open at 7:30 and the test begins promptly at 9:00 tomorrow, so don't be late. No outside materials-"

"-are allowed, pencils, yeah I know." Shinji sighed and mumbled a little louder than he intended.

"Sorry kid, I have to go over it for everyone. No outside belongings: pencils, paper, and other materials will be provided."

"Sorry," Shinji bowed slightly, "I didn't mean to be rude."

The registrar chuckled, "It's ok. I'll end up saying this almost a hundred times today, and the other three," he looked to his right to other registrars signing in more students, "will do the same. It's monotonous, but every year someone swears they weren't told."

Shinji looked at the other lines, each divided up by half of the alphabet and sex, boys A-L, boys M-Z, girls A-L, and girls M-Z, and spotted bright red waiting three lines over. His heart fluttered for a second.

 _She_ is _here,_ he internally cheered. _Wow, what are the odds? I wonder if-_

"Excuse me, Mr. Ikari?"

Shinji found himself still in front of the registrar's table, his mind had wandered off again. The gentleman had his hand out, tiredly holding a keycard. "You're free to go."

"Oh, ha, sorry," Shinji said as he rubbed his head. He normally wasn't this out of sorts. _It's probably just nerves from the test,_ he thought as he glanced back at the stranger in the last line. _Definitely just the test…_

Picking up his bag, Shinji walked towards a bank of elevators in the back of the lobby and waited behind some other teens. The elevator arrived with a bright _ding!_ and other potential students filed off, chatting amongst each other.

As the elevator began to fill up, Shinji contemplated waiting for the next one when one of the girls called out to him, "Come on, we'll make room!" and scooted backwards a bit more.

"Haha, ok!" Shinji smiled as he got in, putting his bag between his feet to avoid hitting anyone. "Fourth floor, please."

The girl that called to him started to fan herself as the doors closed, "Hoo boy, it's so hot in here. I wish I would've taken my coat off first!" And some of the other students started chuckling and complained with her.

"It's not fair, the girls' rooms are all tenth floor and up!" said one girl with short black hair.

The first responded, "Lucky you, I'm on the fourteenth! I might die of heat stroke before I make it there! Imagine that: heat stroke in a blizzard."

Shinji laughed, feeling at ease with the group of strangers, when the elevator arrived at the second floor. Two boys apologetically squeezed between all of them, their bags whacking a few people as they got off.

At the fourth floor, Shinji stepped off, leaving two boys and three girls on the elevator. He turned to them and gave a little wave goodbye, "There's a little more room now, haha!"

The first girl smiled back and shouted through the closing doors, "Hey! I'll see you around. My name's Mana-" and she, too, was gone.

 _Mana? I'll have to keep an eye out for her, too,_ he thought as he walked down the hall to room 402.

Shinji inserted the keycard in the door and stepped into the dorm room. Immediately on the right was a tiny bathroom, with a toilet, sink, and mirror. Further back, two beds ran parallel with desks on the opposite wall. Quite spartan, but definitely sufficient for an overnight stay.

Taking stock of the bedding situation, he grabbed the thin blanket from the second bed and tossed it on the bed he chose. _It's not like I have a roommate, and it's really coming down,_ thought Shinji, looking out the window.

He set his bag on the now stripped bed and hung his parka up on the coat hook. Stopping after a couple steps towards the door again, Shinji turned back to his coat and rummaged through the pocket, grabbing his SDAT player and earphones.

_I wonder if that song's still there…_

He headed back out of the room and towards the elevators, excited to see his friend in the lobby.

* * *

Sitting down on a bench between the registration tables and entrance, Shinji put his earphones in and kept an eye on the drop-off point outside the entrance. He and his best friend had promised to wait for each other after checking in, glad to have at least one truly familiar face to talk to. Sure, he'd made a few new acquaintances already, but there's something comforting about someone you've known your entire life.

Shinji glanced at the lines to see a clearly agitated redhead walk from the front of the M-Z line to the back of the A-L line.

He chuckled to himself, _She doesn't even know how to spell her last name?_ and pressed PLAY:

 **The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour  
** **And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye  
** **Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?**

 **But I believe the world is burning to the ground  
** **Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Well I believe it all is coming to an end  
** **Oh well, I guess we're gonna pretend  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come**

 _An oddly upbeat song for the end of the world,_ Shinji thought, not noticing the steaming redhead stomp past him.

 **I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know  
** **Then I can't remember caring for an hour or so  
** **Started crying and I couldn't stop myself  
** **I started running but there's nowhere to run to  
** **I sat down on the street and took a look at myself  
** **Said, "Where you going man you know the world is headed for hell?  
** **"Say your goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to"**

 **But I believe the world is burning to the ground  
** **Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Well I believe it all is coming to an end  
** **Oh well, I guess we're gonna pretend  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far-**

"Idiot!"

"Huh?" Shinji looked up and paused the music again.

The redhead had stopped mid-pace next to his bench and looked down at him, surprised. "Did you just respond to 'Idiot'?"

Shinji was just as confused, _Why did I respond to that?_ "I… guess so. Sorry."

The redhead's fury dissipated for a moment and she continued to stare down at the brown-haired boy. She gathered her thoughts and leapt back into her rant, this time directed at Shinji: "Well, I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about them!" she said, pointing at the registrar's tables. "Get this: I waited fifteen minutes in the 'S' line-"

"There is no 'S' line." Shinji thought out loud.

"'M through Z', whatever, don't interrupt me," she glared harmlessly, "Any way, I waited fifteen minutes to find out they have me down as 'Langley'. Why would they do that?"

"Because your last name is 'Langley'?" Shinji thought out loud again. _Why am I antagonizing this stranger?_

"What are you, stupid? I have two last names, but my _last_ last name is 'Soryu'." the girl explained, putting her hands on her hips.

Shinji chuckled and offered, "I'm sorry, how was I supposed to know that?"

" _You're_ not. _They_ are: it's written down on all my stuff. With your Japanese naming conventions, everything says 'Soryu Asuka Langley', which is already confusing enough. Now I have to remember which last name the school used first?!"

Shinji paused and tried to untangle the word salad she laid on him. "Um, Asuka… your name is Asuka?"

The redhead paused and blinked, her demeanor changing quickly, a slight embarrassment passing over her, "Mein Gott, I never introduced myself! And after you saved me this morning, how could I forget? I'm Asuka. Asuka Langley Soryu!"

"Charmed."

"Huh?"

They both paused, an odd moment passing between them, like they'd had an epiphany. But they didn't figure anything out. In fact, everything was even more confusing for a brief moment, like a shared moment of déjà vu, but that would be impossible between two people, especially complete strangers.

Shinji was the first to move and offered his hand, but Asuka stared at it before shaking her head as if to clear it.

"You're going to let go this time, right?"

"Huh, what?" was his only response as he blushed bright red. "Maybe. I don't know."

Asuka found his answer disarming and started to blush herself before taking his hand and shaking it: "You know, most guys are intimidated by me, but you're not. I like that."

Shinji blushed brighter and swallowed, realizing his uncertain answer came off a lot more certain than he'd intended. He, in fact, was quite intimidated by the energetic stranger, but he pressed forward. "I, uh, thanks?"

Asuka looked at him still holding her hand. "You're doing it again. And you didn't give me your name."

"Ikari."

"Ikari? Nice to meet you Ikari."

"No, wait," he stammered, "It's Shinji. Ikari's my last name."

"Shinji Ikari? Nice to meet you," and she pumped their hands up and down. "Now, you can let go again."

Shinji pulled his hand away and rubbed his head, blushing again embarrassedly. "I'm sorry."

Asuka looked at him. "You don't need to apologize every other sentence."

"I'm so-" he stopped himself and took a deep breath, collecting himself. Shinji's voice was suddenly calmer as he put his brain back together, "Sorry. I don't know why I keep doing it. I usually don't. Today's been a lot."

Asuka waved her hand dismissively and sat down next to him, "I get it. I just got here from Germany, so I'm a little all over the place, too. Das ist mir Wurst."

Shinji smiled and scooted over, making room for the sudden intruder. "Germany, huh? What brings you here?"

The redhead looked in his eyes and then nodded around the room before looking at Shinji again. No one could be _that_ dense.

"Oh, yeah, haha," he chuckled nervously, "Myojo Academy."

"It's only the most prestigious in Japan, and me being a quarter Japanese-" She stopped as she saw the clearly confused look on the boy's face. "My mom's half Japanese, half German, and my dad's American. So, quarter Japanese. Anyway, I wanted to get a good feel for this life after spending so long in Germany. Learn my heritage, and stuff."

 _That would explain the red hair and fair skin. Wow, she's something else,_ Shinji thought. He smiled and welcomed her to Japan, "I don't know Tokyo very well, but if you need help, I have a friend that knows it."

Asuka smiled, having made a new friend. "Well, thank you, Shinji Ikari. I will ask you if I need help. Like, let's start with lunch. I'm starving."

"I'm actually waiting for someone," Shinji replied.

The redhead paused, "Normally, guys don't turn down an offer to eat with me, either. You must be waiting for someone special."

"It's just a friend, but we promised," he defended. "And I keep my promises. If you want to head to the cafeteria, we'll meet you there."

"Mr. Keeps His Promises sounds pretty loyal. 'Just a friend'? Or a girlfriend?" Asuka pried a little, unsure of what answer she wanted to hear.

"I don't think Shinji has ever had a girlfriend," a voice answered for him.

Shinji turned red and looked up to see a familiar head of brown hair standing in front of them, "That's not fair!"

Hikari giggled and smiled, "From someone with an older sibling to someone without, embarrassing you in front of girls is my duty. Kodama asked me to do it, and I agreed under the condition that she stop teasing me about boys."

"And?"

"Oh, she still does it. But," Hikari briefly glanced at the redhead seated next to Shinji before turning back to him, "if I have to endure it, you do, too. It's only fair."

Shinji had known Hikari Horaki for as long as he could remember. Being next door neighbors, they ended up in the same pre- and elementary schools, played together as children, and had both been invited to take the entrance exams for Myojo Academy. Hikari had come to Tokyo a couple days early to visit her older sister who was enrolled at one of the universities.

Asuka laughed at the poor boy's plight, "Nothing wrong with waiting for the right girl. You _do_ like girls, right?"

Shinji's blush turned brighter, "I- yeah, uh, I just haven't, you know, the right girl hasn't come along!"

"Spend an entire childhood together and I'm 'not the right girl'," Hikari pouted, sticking her lower lip out in a dramatic way.

"That's not what I meant!"

Hikari giggled again, "Shinji, it's fine. You're wonderful, but I couldn't… you're like a brother."

He _was_ like a brother, a brother Hikari never had. In over a decade of friendship, he'd stuck up for her, listened to her, picked her up when she'd fallen, all while actually being four months younger. And they'd cried on each other's shoulders after that long day in the cemetery. A dark day for the Ikari family.

Asuka smiled at Shinji's friend, "He's easy to mess with, isn't he?"

"Usually I'm the only one that can get him so flustered, but that's only when we talk about girls, so..." now Hikari turned and set her sights on the redhead. "He's a nice boy, please don't break his heart."

It was Asuka's turn to blush, "We just met! I don't even know him!"

Hikari started laughing, "Oh, both of you are too much fun. I'd love to continue this chat, but I need to go check in."

"I'll go with you, I never actually checked in," offered the redhead.

"Are you in the same line?" asked Hikari.

"Oh! I haven't introduced myself. Asuka, Asuka Langley Soryu."

"Charmed, huh?" Shinji whispered, barely audible.

" _Why_ do you keep saying that?" the redhead asked, puzzled.

Shinji paused, staring off into space, "I'm... not sure. It just... sounds right."

Asuka looked at him again, "Well, I like it. I'm going to steal it."

She turned and offered a hand to Hikari. "Trying again: I'm Asuka. Asuka Langley Soryu. Charmed, huh?" she added with a soft smile in Shinji's direction.

"Hikari Horaki. Nice to meet you. I've been Shinji's neighbor for our entire lives," Hikari answered as she shook the offered hand and released it.

"Well, at least she knows the difference between a handshake and holding someone's hand."

Shinji blushed again, his cheeks getting tired of all the attention, and laughed nervously.

"Oh, my, Shinji! Holding her hand already!" Hikari beamed.

"It's not like that!"

Asuka stood up and couldn't help but laugh at the boy, "You're too much, Shinji." She turned to Hikari, "Let's go get in line and figure out lunch while we're waiting."

"Sounds great," the brunette answered before turning to Shinji, "We'll be right back."

"No problem. I'll be here," Shinji answered, putting his earphones back in as the girls walked off. _Well, it could always be worse, I guess. Now I have two friends here._

And he pressed PLAY:

 **It's gone gone, baby it's all gone  
** **There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home  
** **It was cool cool, it was just all cool  
** **Now it's over for me, and it's over for you  
** **Well it's gone gone, baby it's all gone  
** **There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home  
** **Well it was cool cool, it was just all cool  
** **Now it's over for me, and it's over for you**

 **I believe the world is burning to the ground  
** **Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Well I, believe it all is coming to an end  
** **O** **h well, I guess, we're gonna pretend  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come**

 **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come**  
**Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come  
** **Let's see how far we've come**

Shinji found himself repeating the final line as the song ended, unsure of its greater meaning in life: "Let's see how far we've come..."

* * *

Song: "How Far We've Come" by Matchbox Twenty


	2. Well, I'm Here With You

After the fifth listening, Shinji took his earphones out and looked at his SDAT player: _It won’t play anything else. I hope it’s not broken, not after everything it’s been through._

The first couple times through the new song were interesting and mysterious, and while the next one got annoying, it wasn’t until the fifth that he began to worry the tape that had essentially become the last connection to hermay be gone forever. 

“Whatcha listening to?”

Shinji looked up to see his new friend from the elevator standing in front of him, “Hey, uh, Mana, right?”

The newest stranger smiled brightly, “You remembered! Yes, Mana Kirishima!” and she held out her hand for a handshake. 

“Nice to meet you, my name’s Shinji, Shinji Ikari,” he said, pausing before shaking her hand.

“I don’t have cooties, Mr. Ikari.”

Smiling back, Shinji shook the young girl’s hand, pumping it twice before letting go. Her hand was soft and delicate, matching her light grey-blue eyes. Her short, brown hair briefly reminded him of home, and a gentle, dazzling smile quickly washed away any uneasiness he'd been feeling. 

“Wow, such an official handshake!” Mana teased him. 

Shinji blushed slightly and looked at her, “Well, all of my handshakes today have gone wrong, so you got the best one, I guess.”

“I don’t know how a handshake can go wrong, but I appreciate getting your best. Now,” she changed subjects, “whatcha you listening to?”

The boy looked down at the SDAT player in his hand, turning it over a few times before responding, “I don’t really know. I’ve had this tape for almost a year, but I found a song I don’t quite recognize.”

Mana stooped down to Shinji, leaning in close, “Well, I listen to _a lot_ of music, so maybe I can help?”

“Sure,” he said as he passed her one of the earphones. 

Putting it in, Mana waited for Shinji to press PLAY and listened intently. After a minute, she spoke, “This is… that one guy. Uh, Beethoven! It’s that really famous piece he wrote after he went deaf.”

“What?” he said as he stopped the music. Shinji knew Beethoven, especially the Ninth Symphony: ‘Choral’, more commonly known as ‘Ode to Joy’. He’d rehearsed the woodshed section in the fourth movement on cello easily a hundred times when he needed time to think, or to not think. This song definitely wasn’t anything by Beethoven. "No, it's not."

“Maybe it’s mixed up?” Mana asked, pulling her earphone out and offering it to Shinji. “Trade me.”

Swapping the earphones out, Shinji again pressed PLAY on the player and heard the same song as before. 

“Still Beethoven. Are you trying to trick me, Mr. Ikari?” the girl asked with a sly grin. “I may look innocent, but you’re not gonna pull one over on me.”

Shinji stopped the music and sighed, slightly defeated. “No, no tricks. I’m worried I’ve lost the music that was on here.”

“Well, can’t you just take the tape out?”

“No, it’s been jammed shut for a long time. I’ve been listening to the same songs for… forever. The SDAT kept on working, even after she dropped it. It’s a miracle…” Shinji faded off after bringing up the bitter memory.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Mana pleaded.

“No, it’s fine,” Shinji looked up and smiled softly, attempting to hide the sadness behind his eyes. “I remember listening to this together every day in the hospital. And now, it’s all I have left.”

“And you’re sure there’s no Beethoven on there?”

“That’s the thing: there _should be_ Beethoven. That’s where I’m confused,” he explained. “But all I hear is some song about the end of the world.”

“Shinji and his Beethoven, I’ve _got_ to get you into something more age appropriate,” Hikari teased as she and Asuka walked up, minus their heavy coats and bags.

“I’m sorry, should I consult one of the boy bands you have plastered on your wall?” Shinji fired back.

“Hey, I have exquisite musical tastes!” Hikari defended.

Shinji’s preferred genres weren’t always as outdated as they’d become in the last year, but now it felt as if he wouldn’t move on in fear of moving on from her. There was a fine line between honoring someone's memory and living with a ghost in the past, and oftentimes it seemed Shinji was unable to tell the difference.

“You’ll have to introduce me to some good Japanese music,” Asuka requested. “And I’ll share some German bands.”

Hikari quickly agreed, “Deal! I like expanding my horizons. The only modern German music I know of is that David guy. Uh, David-”

“No.” Asuka quickly shut down Hikari’s thought with a glare. “That wasn’t good twenty years ago, it _definitely_ isn’t good now.”

Hikari put her hands up defensively, still smiling, “Ok, ok, you're the expert.” And she turned back to her childhood friend and yet another female stranger, “So, Shinji, who’s your new acquaintance?”

Mana held out her hand to the other girls, “I’m Mana. Mana Kirishima! We just met on the elevator a little while ago!”

Hikari and Asuka both shook Mana’s hand, introducing themselves.

“Hikari Horaki.”

“I’m Asuka. Asuka Langley Soryu! Charmed, huh?”

Mana smiled bright at both of them, “I _am_ charmed! It’s great to meet you all. Shinji has such beautiful friends!”

While Hikari thanked the new girl for the compliment, Asuka turned and whispered to Shinji, “So, did you hold her hand, too?”

“Will you stop?!” he blushed and palmed his face. 

Asuka couldn’t help but laugh at him again, “Last time, I promise.”

But Hikari had to chime in, “Oh no, Shinji, _I’m_ not letting this go. I leave you alone in Tokyo for one morning and you’re suddenly surrounded by all these girls!”

It wasn't until Hikari had mentioned it that Shinji realized how dreamlike the entire day had been. Beautiful strangers from all over the world were talking to him, _befriending_ him. It's hard to meet new people in a city with less than 25,000 residents, and now he felt like the center of the Universe.

Shinji rolled his eyes again and decided to poke his best friend back, “What, are you jealous?”

“Shinji Ikari!” Hikari quietly shouted.

He couldn’t help but laugh: relationships were always a touchy subject between the two of them, mostly because Hikari had the oddest taste in boys. Being a dutiful student and sister, Shinji had always thought she’d be more interested in someone more her type, but every time he found her talking to a boy at school it was some sort of athlete. 

It's not that it bothered Shinji, but Hikari very rarely gave him openings to tease her, so her penchant for jocks was a hard target to resist.

“Hey, sorry, but my friends are over there! I’ll see you in the cafeteria!” Mana quickly interrupted.

Happy for the distraction from where the conversation was headed, Shinji smiled and waved, “See you there!”

“Bye!” “It was nice meeting you!”

“See ya!”

After a brief silence, Shinji was thankful when Hikari moved on from his newly forming harem: “So, you were showing off your Beethoven?”

“No, I don’t know. That’s not what I hear. It’s something very different, something I’ve never heard before. It’s _definitely_ not supposed to be on this tape."

Hikari looked at the SDAT player. “Shinji, you’ve had that thing forever, are you sure you’ve just never listened to it all the way through?”

Focusing on the puzzle in his hands, he kept turning the player over, hoping it would give some hint to what happened to it in the last four hours, “I have. I know I have. And it’s not a new tape, it’s still jammed shut.” He showed her how the tape wouldn’t budge.

“Well, have you tried-”

“I don’t want to break it. Please,” Shinji pleaded.

“I know, I’m sorry. Can _we_ try and give it a listen?”

He shrugged and offered it to Hikari. _What's the worst that can happen_?

The teen brushed her hair away from her ear and inserted an earphone before handing the other side to Asuka, who stared at it for a moment, “Wait, am I a part of this now?”

“Yeah, we’re just listening to it for a second.”

“Oh, ok,” Asuka agreed before placing the other earphone in her ear. “What is it I’m supposed to be hearing?”

But before anyone could answer her, Hikari pressed the PLAY button. Both girls stood in silence, while Shinji watched their eyes, hoping for any hint that he wasn’t crazy. 

The lobby was still buzzing with dozens of kids checking in and hanging out, but Shinji only focused on the two girls standing in front of him. A fire could break out six feet behind him, and he'd still be sitting on that bench waiting for confirmation that he wasn't hallucinating music.

Hikari waited for a bit before asking, “Uh, yeah, this is Beethoven. ‘Ode to Joy’, I think.”

Sighing, Shinji hung his head. _Damn… not them, too..._

Sensing that wasn’t the answer he was hoping to hear, Hikari turned the music off and took her earphone out, “I don’t know, Shinji. I know ‘Ode to Joy’, and that’s definitely what I heard. Are you feeling ok? I know you've been especially anxious about the exam.”

“I’m fine Hikari, let’s just go,” Shinji answered shortly, pushing his emotions down. He held out his hand to Asuka, passively requesting the earphone back, and noticed the normally fiery girl was lost in her thoughts, “Ready to eat?”

Asuka’s eyes opened wide, her bright blue orbs quickly looking around the room as if she was regaining her sense of balance, “Huh, what? Yeah! Let’s go.”

“Hey! Shinji, Asuka, Hikari! Let’s go eat! I’m staaaaarving!” Mana loudly shouted across the room.

Hikari offered her hand to Shinji, pulling him up from the bench and patted him on the back. They shared a quiet smile before the older girl turned towards the cafeteria, calling back to Mana, “We’re coming!”

Shinji took a single step forward past a still frozen Asuka before her hand reached out, resting on his upper arm and stopping him in his tracks. He looked at the redhead and she looked at him, “Asuka, are you alright?"

“I know Beethoven. And _that_ wasn’t Beethoven.”

* * *

Sitting at a large table in the cafeteria, the three teenagers were soon joined by Mana and her two friends after they’d grabbed their food. Introductions went around the table and Shinji’s group found themselves in the presence of three Tokyo natives. 

“Well, I wasn’t born here like these two,” Mana corrected. “I was born in Akune, but my dad works in Tokyo, so I’ve lived here since I was 7.”

“That’s still fantastic! Cafeteria food is fine for lunch, but I need something real for dinner,” Asuka commented. “I'm only in Japan for the exam, so I want to be blown away. Do you have any nearby suggestions?”

Mana’s male friend started to make one when the other girl, Keita, interrupted, pointing past the group, “Musashi, look at how the snow’s coming down. I don’t think it’s smart to go anywhere tonight.”

The group looked out the large cafeteria windows and watched as the snow piled up on the ground. While snow wasn’t unusual in a Tokyo winter, a full-blown snowstorm in late December was pretty unheard of. The large fountain out front of the school had long since frozen over, leaving no indication it ever existed beyond an oddly shaped pile of snow fifteen feet high.

“Yeah, this is the worst I’ve ever seen it,” Mana commented. Turning to Shinji and Hikari, she asked, “Do you get more snow in the countryside?”

Shinji considered the question for a second before answering, “I… don’t remember the last time it snowed.”

Hikari elbowed him, giving him the strangest look, “Really? You can’t remember the last time it snowed?” And answered for the both of them, “It snows a little every winter, but we got a pretty decent snowstorm late last February. I don’t know why Shinji wouldn’t remember that.”

“What about Germany, Asuka?” Musashi asked.

Also seemingly unsure of how to answer, the group watched as Asuka pondered the question, “I mean, I’m sure it does. I just don’t remember the last time it snowed. All I can remember is summertime…”

“What I’d give for summer in December!” Mana laughed. “I’ve got the cutest dress I could wear instead of all these snow clothes.”

Shinji caught himself glancing at Asuka and noticed she also looked his way. The idea of sweating in December didn’t sound very attractive, but there _was_ something familiar about it. He could see the wheels turning in her head, her mouth opening for a second, before loud cheering from across the cafeteria interrupted her.

“YEAH! GREAT SHOT SUZUHARA!” a boy shouted and almost everyone turned to see several teenagers tossing paper balls into trash cans.

"SUZUHARA'S MADE TEN STRAIGHT! THE OSAKAN TERROR CAN'T MISS!" another loud boy announced.

“Of course _that’s_ my roommate.”

The group looked back at Musashi curiously.

“There’s a gym bag of stuff in my room marked ‘SUZUHARA T.’, and from the smell it’s probably his actual gym bag," he explained.

Shinji couldn’t help but smile at Hikari, knowing where this was likely heading. He watched as every brain cell immediately disappeared from his best friend, turning her into nothing but a pile of hormones.

“Co- could you, maybe, introduce me?” she asked, almost zombie-like.

“We haven’t actually met, yet. Sorry,” the boy answered.

Deflated, Hikari shrunk back down into her chair, suddenly realizing that everyone was now very aware of her odd preference for athletes, when Asuka stood up and grabbed her hand, “Jetzt ist die beste Zeit. Let’s go get you a boyfriend.”

“Oh no, Asuka, I-”

“Consider it a favor for a new friend,” Asuka grinned like a shark while Mana and Keita cheered them on.

Blushing and stammering for a few steps, Hikari stopped herself and took a breath before cleaning up her pigtails and smoothing out her shirt. "How do I look?"

"Like a million bucks."

“Okay, Asuka. Let’s go.”

The table continued to hoot and holler after the two girls, while Shinji couldn’t help but laugh.

Mana turned to him and asked, “So, what’s the deal with Hikari?”

“She’s such a perfectionist in everything: top grades, everything clean and organized, but she just can’t turn down a messy jock. It’s the strangest thing, and I’ll never let her live it down, as much as I love her.”

“Oh, you ‘love her’...” Mana repeated.

“Not like that,” Shinji backtracked. “We’ve known each other forever, she’s the older sister I never had, and I’m the brother she never had. And her sisters became my sisters, by extension, leaving just me and a bunch of girls. I couldn't look at her any other way."

“That sounds so sweet, Shinji. So…” Mana leaned in a little closer, “are there any other girls in your life I should know about?”

With that question, he found himself unconsciously turning to look at Asuka. Even from across the room, the boisterous redhead was easily spotted aggressively pushing Hikari in front of the tallest of the jocks. _She's fearless._

“You two are cute together,” Mana smiled, bringing Shinji back to the conversation.

“No, wait, we just met this morning!”

“I see the way you look at her.”

Shinji was still staring at Asuka from across the room, but speaking to Mana, “It’s… there’s just something so familiar about her.”

He’d been wracking his brain since the subway encounter trying to solve that mystery, but had nothing to show for it. Deep down, Shinji was certain they had met before, but he couldn’t remember ever seeing her prior to that morning.

Looking back to the table, he saw Musashi and Keita standing up. “Hey, Mana, let’s go check out the rest of the campus. There’s still some places to see.”

“Yeah, sounds good!” she answered her friends before turning back to Shinji. “Well, I hope you can figure out how you know her. I know I’d sure hate it if you forgot about me.”

Mana stood up and left with a small wave, leaving Shinji alone at the table. He looked back across the room and saw Hikari standing closely by the tall jock, Asuka heading back alone.

“She’ll be getting to know Mr. Suzuhara for a little bit, I hope you’re okay with that,” the German explained. “Liebe ist in der Luft.”

“She’s a big girl, she can handle herself,” Shinji replied.

“Good. Now, changing topics…”

“Oh?”

“I want to ask you about that music. Were you messing with me?” Asuka asked. 

There was a brief silence between them. Shinji could feel the mood change, “No, Asuka. I’m serious.”

She sat down on his right and held out her hand, “Let’s give it another try, then.”

"Ok."

Pulling the SDAT player out and unwinding the earphones, Shinji handed one to her and put the other into his right ear. He watched as she started to reach up and put hers into her left ear when the redhead paused, the cable stretched too tightly between them.

Looking at the cord and then at Shinji, Asuka scooted right next to Shinji, their hips and shoulders almost touching: “No funny business.”

Shinji put his hand up, “On my honor.”

Rolling her eyes and taking a deep breath, Asuka waited until Shinji pressed the PLAY button and their ears were filled with drums and guitar.

Asuka began to nod her head to the beat, eventually looking into Shinji’s eyes, “Yeah, this definitely isn’t Beethoven. I’ve never heard it before. Who is it?”

Shinji shrugged as the verse continued, “I don’t know. It just kinda appeared on here. The tape’s jammed in, so I’ve been listening to the same 26 tracks since earlier this year. This morning's the first time I’ve ever heard it.”

"'This morning'? Huh..." Focusing on the song, Asuka turned her head and closed her eyes. Shinji got the hint and followed suit, letting the music swell and grow inside of him. Having someone to share the song with brought a new emphasis to every word, every note, every rhythm, and Shinji found his finger tapping the beat on his knee, somehow _knowing_ deep inside himself that Asuka was doing the exact same, perfectly in sync.

The sounds of the busy cafeteria faded away, instead gently replaced with a sprawling cityscape below them. The sweltering heat of an eternal summer embraced the two, washing away any hint of a winter snowstorm, a gentle breeze stirring the laundry drying above them. The weight of all of humanity suddenly resting on their shoulders, any thoughts about entry exams and private schools were replaced.

Names, words, locations, none familiar, started to creep into his memory, fuzzy and shapeless, just out of reach. But the one thing that grew stronger was his attraction to the spirited redhead to his right, his emotions confused and conflicted in an uncertain way.

Unaware that he’d been transported to a balcony he’d never been to, Shinji opened his eyes, feeling the powerful connection dangling between their ears. The boy looked at Asuka fondly, and watched as her eyes slowly opened. Cobalt met sapphire again, and Shinji blushed and smiled. And Asuka smiled back.

Suddenly their ears were suddenly filled with a new song, a light piano leading into drums and more: 

**I have,  
** **I have you breathing down my neck  
** **Breathing down my neck  
** **I don't, don't know  
** **What you could possibly expect  
** **Under this condition  
** **So, I'll wait, I'll wait  
** **For the ambulance to come  
** **Ambulance to come  
** **Pick us up off the floor  
** **What did you possibly expect  
** **Under this condition?**

 **So, slow down  
** **This night's a perfect shade of**

 **Dark blue, dark blue  
** **Have you ever been alone in a crowded room  
** **When I'm here with you?  
** **I said the world could be burning, burning down  
** **Dark blue, dark blue  
** **Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?  
** **Well, I'm here with you  
** **I said the world could be burning  
** **'Til there's nothing but dark blue**

The redhead broke the silence first, causing Shinji to stop the music: “Did you change it?”

“No, I didn’t touch it.”

She eyed him suspiciously before removing her earphone and standing up, the moment having since washed over them.

“Asuka, I mean it. I… I don’t know this song either,” Shinji pleaded, fearing he’d ruined whatever had just happened. _What_ did _happen?_

Shaking her head, Asuka wrapped her arms around each other, shivering, “Does it suddenly… feel…”

“... colder?” Shinji finished without thinking. He had definitely felt a breeze, a _warm_ breeze. And so did she, he was sure of it.

But before he could elaborate, the fiery German girl briskly walked off, once again leaving Shinji behind. His heart ached again, like a piece of it was ripped away, _What was that? What is going on?_

He turned his SDAT player over in his hands, staring at the faded display, now reading as “02”, and started to put the other earphone in. His thumb reaching for the PLAY button, he found himself unable to press it. He couldn't just move on with everything even more of a mess than before.

 _She heard it, too,_ he thought. _She_ felt _it, too..._

Removing his earphones and wrapping them back around the SDAT, Shinji stood up, glanced over at Hikari, making sure she was still with her new found crush, and headed after Asuka.

* * *

After searching for some time, Shinji found Asuka standing in front of a vending machine around the back of the lobby, furiously pressing buttons and muttering to herself.

“Ach! _Scheiße!_ What’s wrong with this damn machine?!” she punctuated with a kick.

“Just once, I wish a girl like her would order _me_ around!” Shinji heard from behind him. His mind racing with yet another odd form of déjà vu, he shook off the sensation, tired of his brain seemingly melting into itself today, and turned to see the bespectacled boy from earlier this morning gawking at the redhead.

“She’s usually not like this, I think you’re just catching her at a bad time,” Shinji defended. _More like a bad mood that_ I _caused…_

“Hey! What are you guys looking at?” Asuka shouted, now approaching the two boys, hands on her hips.

Kensuke folded his hands, almost starstruck, “Oh wow, she’s spoken to me…”

Now standing directly in front of them, the girl crossed her arms and spoke only at Kensuke, “I need you to leave. Shinji and I have to have a little talk.”

"But-"

"Now." She emphasized with a glare.

Bowing and backing away slowly, Kensuke apologized and left, feeling the tension between them, “Nice knowing you…” he offered before slinking off completely.

Shinji spoke first, not really sure how to start. “Asuka, I-”

“Buy me a soda,” she interrupted. “The machine ate my money, and I’m still thirsty.”

Without hesitation, Shinji opened his wallet and inserted money into the vending machine, stepping aside to let her make a selection. Asuka tapped her foot until the can popped out of the bottom and she retrieved it.

“Now, why would you I just command you to do something like ‘buy me a soda’?” she asked, popping open the beverage. “And why would you unquestioningly do it?”

Asuka took a long sip from the can, eyeing the boy and waiting for an answer.

His mind raced with a million thoughts, but none of them truly made sense. “I don’t know. I felt like it was the right thing to do.”

Lowering the can slightly, Asuka looked right into Shinji’s eyes and asked as directly as possible: “‘Felt like it was the right thing,’ just who the hell _are_ you, Shinji Ikari?”

Taken aback, Shinji couldn’t answer the girl. He suddenly feared the stranger and her words, unconsciously knowing the damage they could do without even trying.

Pressing her advantage, Asuka lowered the drink and started poking him in the chest, while almost shouting in his face, “I'm trying to leave Germany to get away from bullshit. And everything was fine until you started with your mind games!”

Shinji almost cowered from her, “I- I’m not bullshitting you, Asuka! There are no 'mind games'. I’m sorry-”

Another few pokes to his chest, more forcefully, “And again with the apologies!”

Almost instinctively, he found himself shrinking away from the girl. She was barely taller, but in this moment the European aggressor towered over him. Shinji's brain could only proffer the same meaningless words, "I'm sorry. I-"

The words enraged the girl, and Shinji watched as she pulled her hand back to slap him. Having had enough, he caught her hand before it reached him, and he pulled it to his chest, holding it with both of his, pleading into her eyes with his own, “Please, Asuka, you're the only person that can help me!"

Shinji didn't know where those words had come from, but they seemed to have worked. He watched her beautiful ocean blue eyes open wide, tears beginning to form in the corners.

After a tense moment, Asuka shut them hard, turning her head away, pulling her hand from his: “The exam is in the morning, and I fly back to Germany tomorrow night.”

“Ok. We ca-”

But the girl looked back at the boy and her words cut through Shinji like a hot knife: “Stay away from me.”

And again she left.

* * *

Tears rolling down his cheeks, Shinji found himself laying on his dorm room bed, unaware of how or when he’d made it there. Staring at the stained ceiling, he stopped from instinctively reaching for the SDAT player like he’d done so many times before.

Music was always important in the Ikari household, and the SDAT player was one of Shinji’s most prized possessions. As a young child, his mother had surprised him with his first few tapes and the player. He remembered opening the gift to find his name engraved on the back plate.

But it wasn’t until Shinji found himself spending more and more time in the hospital that the SDAT became more than a mere hobby: the player and the music found within it quickly became a coping mechanism, a form of escapism, and, most importantly, a tool to drown out the endless beeps and buzzes of the hospital's monitoring equipment.

At one point, Shinji and his mother spent an entire weekend crafting the tape that was now permanently wedged in it, full of their favorite songs spanning several centuries and genres. That tape became the soundtrack of almost a year's worth of sadness, overnight morphing into his only remaining connection to her.

However, now that the music was lost, the connection broken, every dark thought and memory it suppressed came boiling to the top.

_“Shinji, I need you to promise me… promise me, even after I’m gone, that you’ll do your best. Promise me you’ll still test for Myojo...”_

_Please, please stop,_ he pleaded to the air. He didn’t want to remember that last night, not now..

_“Promise me you’ll find your own path.”_

_I can’t do this._

_“Please… promise me… Shinji...”_

Tears continued to spill over his cheeks, the old familiar pang of loss now topped with a fresh new layer. Emotions from an hour ago amplified by emotions from a few months ago.

He could see those dying eyes in that hospital bed, the light almost completely gone. They'd known for months it was terminal, but it still did nothing to dull the pain.

_I- I promise._

With that, the memory faded, hospital machinery blending back into his unconscious, replaced with the constant humming of the heating system and the faint sound of people walking and talking in the hallway.

A gentle knock at the door brought him the rest of the way back into the conscious world, surprising Shinji as he jumped to his feet, heart racing all the way to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it, surprised at his guest.

“Shinji, hey! Come join us for dinner!” Mana beamed.

Looking at her, puzzled, Shinji could only wonder where the time had gone. Wiping his cheeks to hide any evidence of what just occurred, he replied, “Hey… Uh, yeah, yeah, let me get my shoes.”

Mana held the door open while he turned back into his room and slipped his sneakers on, making a conscious decision to leave his SDAT player on the bed. _Some time away from all of that will be good for me,_ he thought as he entered the hallway and found himself surrounded by Mana’s friends, Musashi and Keita. 

“Good to see you again, Shinji!” Keita greeted him as they headed towards the elevators.

“You too, guys,” he replied.

The foursome entered the next available elevator, finding Hikari already on board, “Hey, I was heading down to start looking for you!”

“We didn’t have Shinji’s phone number, so Mana asked around and we decided to just grab him from his room,” Musashi explained. “Speaking of, hey, what’s your phone number?”

Shinji smiled and shook his head, able to predict word-for-word what Hikari was about to answer for him, “Old man Shinji, here, doesn’t have a cell phone. He doesn’t think he needs one.”

Coming from a smaller city like Otsuki, Shinji considered a cell phone an unnecessary luxury. There were only a couple dozen people that would end up calling, anyway, so what was the point if they already knew where to find him.

“What?” “That’s crazy!” Mana and Keita simultaneously exclaimed.

“I don’t think I could live without my phone,” confessed Musashi. “No judgment here, Shinji, but you could totally replace that outdated tape player by now.”

Knowing how touchy the subject was, Hikari quickly came to Shinji’s defense, “Well, there’s a bit more history behind _that_ than any old cell phone, guys. Don't bother getting into it, though, I've tried to fight this fight. It’s Shinji’s choice: he doesn’t need a phone if he doesn’t want one.”

Shinji gave Hikari a silent thank you with a smile and a nod, before attempting to steer the subject, “So, what’s for dinner-?”

But Hikari had already set her sights on another problem topic, "Any way, have you seen Asuka? She disappeared after introducing me to Toji, and I haven’t had a chance to thank her.”

“I don’t know… I think she’s upset with me,” Shinji sighed.

Hikari gave him a questioning look when the elevator chimed and everyone began to pour out, heading for the cafeteria. Mana’s trio led the way, and Shinji tried to follow but his oldest friend held him behind for a moment, “Do you want me to talk to her about it?”

Shaking his head, he attempted to decline the offer, “No, I don’t want to-”

“Shinji, I’m sure it’s not a big deal. She’s a teenage girl, she’s probably just confused about her feelings for you!”

“Hikari, we just met.”

“What about ‘love at first sight’ and all that?”

Shinji started blushing and stammering, “It’s not like that! I- we, we were just- ah!”

“I know, I know, I’m just trying to cheer you up. She probably wants nothing to do with you.”

“H- hey! That doesn’t help!” Shinji shouted, offended.

Hikari giggled, finally getting her best friend out of his mopey mood, “Now, _there’s_ my Shinji. Let’s go eat and we’ll talk about Asuka later.”

Fortunate to have a friend like Hikari Horaki in his life, Shinji smiled as the two of them followed the rest of the students toward the cafeteria. 

* * *

“Oh my goodness, the food here is absolutely dreadful,” Hikari complained loudly. “Shinji, let’s go to the kitchen and teach them a thing or two about cooking!”

The five Myojo hopefuls sat at a larger table towards the middle of the cafeteria, Shinji purposely positioning himself with an eyeline towards the entry. Despite knowing deep down inside what he was looking for, the teenage boy tried to convince himself he just wanted to know how to escape the group if the conversation turned a certain direction.

“Shinji, you can cook?” inquired Mana, eyes wide.

“I’m ok-” he started to answer before being cut off.

“Stop being so humble, _Ikari_!” Hikari turned to Mana, “Shinji’s a better cook than I am, annoyingly enough. He’s just a natural; something he must’ve gotten from his mom.”

“You taught me most of my best recipes, _Horaki_ ,” Shinji fired back. “So, it’s not like I get all the credit.”

Wrapping her arms around Shinji’s left arm, Mana smiled brightly looking up at the boy, “He’s handsome, smart, _and_ a good cook?”

“ _And_ he’s a beautiful cellist,” Hikari added.

“Oh my goodness, how have you not claimed him yourself?” Keita interjected. 

And there was one of the conversations Shinji couldn’t escape fast enough. His nervous eyes scanned the cafeteria, _Here we go again. Maybe I can pretend to be sick?_ he thought, still looking at the entrance for nothing in particular.

“Our mothers have been trying to marry us off for as long as I can remember, but I just couldn’t,” laughed Hikari. “Plus, ‘Hikari Ikari’ sounds absolutely ridiculous.”

“And after fighting them for so long, our sisters would never let us live it down,” Shinji chuckled nervously. “Except for maybe Zuzu.”

“‘Zuzu’?” Mana asked, still staring at Shinji.

“My little sister, Nozomi. She just turned 8,” Hikari explained. “She grew out of the nickname a couple years ago, but Shinji’s allowed to still call her that.”

“Aww!” exclaimed Mana, “That’s so cute.”

“He’s absolutely precious with her. She’s already offered to be the flower girl at our wedding.”

Shinji found himself smiling, missing the smallest member of the joint Ikari-Horaki family, “It’s going to break her heart when I tell her you found a boyfriend on this trip and it _isn’t_ me, you know.”

“Yeah, where is your new boytoy?” Mana asked, releasing Shinji’s arm and sitting back up at the table.

Now nervous about the attention set on her, Hikari went stiff, “Ha, yeah, uh, I asked Toji to join us at dinner, so hopefully he’ll stop by.”

Keita and Mana started prying into the new couple, “Tell us about him!” “Yeah, tell us!”

Hikari blushed and started petting her own pigtail, smiling as she spoke, “Well, he’s from Osaka, so he’s got this accent…"

“Ooh!”

Shinji chuckled and rolled his eyes, _Of course she’d meet a big city jock. Could it get any more cliche?_

“Oh, oh, there he is,” Hikari’s blush continued. She shouted across a few tables, “Toji! Come meet my friends!” 

But instead of coming to her summon, the tall athlete waved her over to his group of friends, deep in conversation.

“Ok! One sec!” She turned to Shinji as she stood up, “Hey, when you’re done, please come meet him. He’s actually a really sweet guy.”

Shinji accepted the invitation and looked after their dinner trays, collecting Mana, Keita, and Musashi’s as well.

“Such a gentleman!” Mana exclaimed, as Keita began to tease her about it.

“Oh my goodness, Mana, will you give the boy some breathing room?!” 

The three of them laughed as Shinji nervously rubbed his head, uncomfortable with all the extra attention he was getting.

“You’re no fun, Keita,” the girl pouted. “In any case, let’s go get one last study session in before bed. Shinji, you’re welcome to join us.”

He smiled but politely declined, “Thank you, but I’m going to go meet Hikari’s new friend before turning in for the night. Good luck with your studies!”

“Oh alright, Shinji. See you tomorrow at breakfast?” Mana asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

And with that, Mana and Keita left, Musashi lingering for a second behind, “They’re not gonna study, they’re just gonna gossip for an hour.”

Shinji slapped Musashi on the back, “Keep ‘em on topic, I believe in you.” 

Musashi chuckled and followed after the girls while Shinji took all the food trays to the garbage cans. 

Turning back to the cafeteria, Shinji scanned the room quickly before looking in the corner that Hikari’s beau had sat in, only to find empty tables. 

_It’s getting late, maybe they went back to study or sleep,_ he thought. Deciding to also turn in for the night, he walked towards the elevators, keeping his eyes open for any sign of the foreign redhead. However, he found himself increasingly let down with every step closer to his dorm room.

_“Stay away from me.”_

Shinji recalled the bitter words, wondering what he could say or do to fix things. _If she won’t talk to me tomorrow, I’ll never get another chance._

Lying back down on the mattress, he grabbed the SDAT and placed the earphones in, prepared to listen to the new song and hopefully come up with a more satisfying explanation to whatever was happening. _I’ll just have to find her at breakfast before the exam._

Determined to solve the mystery before the night’s end, Shinji pressed PLAY, the new song picking up right where it left off:

**Just dark blue**

**This flood  
** **This flood is slowly rising up  
** **Swallowing the ground  
** **Beneath my feet  
** **Tell me how anybody thinks  
** **Under this condition  
** **So, I'll swim, I'll swim  
** **As the water rises up  
** **Sun is sinking down  
** **And now all I can see  
** **Are the planets in a row  
** **Suggesting it's best that I**

 **Slow down  
** **This night's a perfect shade of**

 **Dark blue, dark blue  
** **Have you ever been alone in a crowded room  
** **When I'm here with you?  
** **I said the world could be burning, burning down  
** **Dark blue, dark blue  
** **Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?  
** **Well, I'm here with you  
** **I said the world could be burning  
** **Dark blue**

 **We were boxing  
** **We were boxing the stars  
** **We were boxing  
** **You were swinging for Mars**

 ******And then the water reached the West Coast  
** **And took the power lines, the power lines  
** **And it was me and you  
** **And the whole town underwater  
** **There was nothing we could do  
** **It was dark blue**

 **Dark blue, dark blue  
** **Have you ever been alone in a crowded room  
** **When I'm here with you?  
** **I said the world could be burning, burning down  
** **Dark blue  
** **Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?  
** **Well, I'm here with you  
** **I said the world could be burning  
** **Now there's nothing but  
** **Dark blue**

 **If you've ever been alone  
** **You'll know  
** **Dark blue**

 **If you’ve ever been alone  
** **You'll know  
** **You'll know**

Alone and seemingly underwater, Shinji found his eyes too heavy to hold open, falling asleep to yet another unfamiliar track beneath an unfamiliar ceiling.

* * *

Song: “Dark Blue” by Jack’s Mannequin


	3. I Wanted to Fix This

The room was silent except for the faint scratching of pencils on paper, a couple of nervous taps, a random cough, and the sounds of erasing. Thirty young students in a confined space is usually a recipe for noise and excitement, but there was none to be found this Monday morning.

The air was stagnant and heavy: barely tossed around by the school's heating system and weighed down by the future of 400 children spread throughout a dozen classrooms. The stress was so tangible it could almost be spotted in the corner, also furiously marking up an exam sheet, second guessing everything it thought it knew.

Shinji Ikari did his best to concentrate on the exam in front of him, but a restless night and a disappointingly uneventful breakfast had half of his mind preoccupied. It wasn't until another adult unexpectedly entered the room that Shinji realized he'd been staring off into space.

Watching the adult whisper into the exam proctor's ear, Shinji grew curious when the seemingly hungover instructor who'd been all but asleep, draped over the desk, perked up and stared back at the messenger.

When the messenger left, the proctor stood up, clearing his throat and speaking in a gentle baritone: "Excuse me, everyone, pardon the interruption," he began, "but I'm going to need all pencils down and eyes on me. Once again, please put your pencils down."

The unshaven man watched around the room, one time making eye contact with Shinji, before clearing his throat again, "I said, 'pencils down'. Please."

Finally, the faint scratching sound completely ceased, and thirty pairs of eyes all watched the proctor walk around the front of his desk, gently sitting against it.

"I've been informed that the Director of Myojo Academy is instructing all potential students to go to the cafeteria after finishing and turning in your exam. Once again, after the test, you are to go directly to the cafeteria and wait."

The tall man paused and watched around the room before turning and walking back behind his desk, "I don't have any more information, so, please, no questions. Get back to your exams, and good luck."

There was a quiet murmur among some of the students, but the gentleman at the front of the room ceased it with one good look, and the room was again filled with the furious scribbling and erasing of the increasingly desperate children.

After what seemed like an eternity, Shinji answered the final question and stood up to turn his test in. Approaching the desk at the front, he handed the gentleman his exam and gave his name, "Ikari Shinji, sir."

The proctor scrolled down his roster and then verified the name on the test before collecting the booklet, "Thanks, Shinji."

The boy stared at the man again, taking in his stubbly face and ponytail, certain he'd seen him before. He realized he was again staring at a complete stranger for a conspicuous amount of time, and turned and quickly left the room, joining a few other kids heading down the hallway towards the main building.

As they all walked, Shinji overheard two teens in front of him discussing the sudden interruption: "I heard they found a body in one of the dorm rooms."

Another boy tried to correct the story, "No, I heard they caught one of the _teachers_ in one of the girls' dorm rooms."

A girl nodded her head: "This redhead girl in my room got up and left in a real hurry! Do you think she's involved?"

Shinji's ears perked up at the mention of the brightly-maned girl. _Is she talking about_ _Asuka?_

"Yeah, I know that girl, she's on my floor. She was in a really bad mood this morning. I saw her yelling at some of the staff!" a different girl chimed in.

 _I hope not,_ Shinji thought.

More excited whispering came from the half dozen students as they continued towards the cafeteria, a wall of noise hitting them as the doors opened. The sudden change in plans seemingly fueled hundreds of junior conspiracy theorists.

Shinji spotted Mana and Hikari chatting at a table towards the front of the room and he sat down to join them.

"Hey, Shinji, do you know what's going on?" Hikari asked.

He shrugged, "I'm guessing I know as much as you do."

"I heard someone got caught cheating and they're going to make everyone test again!" Mana squeaked, nervously. "I can't take this test again, my brain is fried!"

"Well, it wasn't me," Musashi sighed as he joined the table, putting his head in his hands. "If I was going to cheat, I'd at least make sure I passed."

Hikari began to rub Mana's back reassuringly, "I'm sure you both did just fine."

"I probably guessed on half of the questions! Why were they so hard?!" Musashi asked, shaking his head.

The table continued to nervously laugh and joke about the exam for a little longer until Keita joined them, her arms wrapped around her chest.

"I don't know what's going on, but they wouldn't even let me get my coat first!" she exclaimed.

"What?" "That's crazy!" both Mana and Musashi answered simultaneously.

"Yeah, they've got teachers blocking the elevators and stairs."

Musashi stood up and took his sport coat off, draping it over Keita, before sitting close and rubbing her shoulders.

While the three were busy, Hikari turned and looked at Shinji, whispering, "I still haven't seen Asuka. She's supposed to be on my floor, but nothing. You?"

He almost told her the rumors he'd just heard, but stopped himself, knowing what little he'd heard didn't do much to explain her absence. "No, I haven't seen her either…"

Shinji and Hikari scanned the cafeteria again, looking for the most conspicuously colored hair in all of Tokyo, seeing nothing out of the ordinary until an older man entered the room, followed by a couple more adults.

"He looks official," mumbled Mana to the group.

Slowly, the cafeteria began to quiet down, watching the gentleman in a grey suit stop at the front of the room, grabbing a microphone that had been waiting on a stand.

The man cleared his throat and began, "Good morning, Myojo Academy hopefuls."

A generous rumbling of replies was returned, "Good morning."

"I am Dr. Kozo Fuyutsuki, the Director of Myojo Academy. I-" The Director was interrupted by a smattering of applause, but it died down as he held his hand up.

"Please- thank you, thank you. Please, this is important." He paused, ensuring his message was heard by all, "Unfortunately, due to a major change in the weather, we are not going to be dismissing you from campus for the time being."

Some shocked and confused grumbling came about the room, which Director Fuyutsuki silenced again with his hand:

"I know, this is most unfortunate; however, I cannot, in good conscience, allow any students to leave this campus until the blizzard has subsided. Your health and safety is Myojo Academy's top priority, and it would be incredibly irresponsible to allow any of you to leave.

"Your parents and or guardians have already been notified, but they will likely prefer to hear from you that you are safe and secure. In that case, if you have personal cellular phones, you may use them to contact them; if not, there are a few phones located in the main hall, but we request that you keep them open for emergency calls."

The director scanned the room, watching as 400 children listened disbelievingly, "Current forecasts show a break in the storm hopefully tomorrow evening, but we will not make a decision until we are certain it is safe."

Shinji found himself staring at Hikari, jaw slightly agape.

"In the meantime, you are to return to the dormitory until lunch. The staff and I will need to make some adjustments to accommodate you for the uncertain time being. You are free to mingle among the students on your floor, but fraternization between the boys' and girls' floors is currently prohibited..."

There seemed to be a gentle uproar over this policy, but the Director continued, "... until we can appropriately station a chaperone on each floor.

"We are hoping to open the rest of the main building and library tomorrow, once again as we can get personnel assigned to there."

The uproar quickly died down, but some were still unhappy with the sudden change in plans.

"I thank you for your patience and cooperation. Please understand the decision was not made lightly, your safety is our top priority. I will see you all at lunch.

"To start: boys' second and third floors, you are dismissed."

Several dozen teens stood up and left the cafeteria, as the remainder began to talk loudly about the sudden turn of events.

Hikari was the first to break the silence at their table, "Oh my, this is a mess."

"I hope we're not here too long, only have 2 more outfits!" Mana exclaimed nervously.

The rest of the table eyed her, Musashi finally asking, "We were only supposed to be here overnight. Why did you bring four outfits?"

"I brought _five_ outfits," Mana corrected. "You never know what you'll need to dress for."

"Boys on the fourth and fifth floors, you are dismissed!" a different voice called, belonging to the proctor of Shinji's exam room who stood at the front of the room talking with other teachers. Shinji watched as a blonde woman cinched his tie, shaking her head at him, disapprovingly.

Shinji stood and bid farewell to his friends, and followed Musashi towards the elevators, cramming in with six other boys all on his floor. He found himself disinterested in the conversations being held on the elevator and in the hall, deep in thought all the way until he sat on the bed in his room.

Determined to look for a certain girl at lunch, he pulled out his SDAT player and a notebook.

 _There's got to be something that will explain what happened yesterday,_ he thought, putting the earphones in. _If I can show Asuka I've figured something out, maybe she'll talk to me about it._

As he pressed PLAY, Shinji began writing down the lyrics, pausing and rewinding to confirm what he heard. Still only limited to two songs, the mystery behind them washed out most of the boredom from repetition.

Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned to an hour of Shinji listening to the same two songs over and over again, making sure he wrote every word down correctly. He was intently looking for a hidden message, a hint to what happened in the cafeteria. But every time he tried to recall the phenomenon, it left him daydreaming about the only other person to experience it with him.

A knock at the door interrupted him, and Shinji found Musashi waiting behind it, "Yo, Shinji, they said it's lunch time. You ready?"

Shinji looked around, watching the other boys head towards the elevators, "Lunch already? Did I miss something?"

"Yeah, they just called everyone down over the intercom," Musashi explained. Standing behind him was Musashi's jock roommate, peering in at the shorter Shinji.

"I must've missed it with my earphones in. Yeah, give me a second."

Musashi and the roommate entered Shinji's small room while he tied his shoes. It was the roommate that first spotted the notebook on the bed, "Poetry?"

Flustered, Shinji quickly gathered his things and stuffed them into his backpack, "It's not a poem."

The tall teen held his hands up, defensively, "Hey, man, no judgment here!" He held his hand out, "I'm Toji."

Shinji took his hand and shook it, firmly, "Shinji."

"Hey, you can introduce yourselves on the elevator," Musashi interrupted, "let's get down there before all the good seats are taken."

The three boys left the dorm room and entered the elevator, sinking down towards the bottom floor where the cafeteria was located.

* * *

"Man, it's really coming down," Hikari commented, watching the scene outside. She had secured a table in the cafeteria, close to the large windows.

The six teens spent most of lunch staring out the window, discussing the sudden interruption in plans to return home. Shinji was lost in thought throughout most of it, but every time the cafeteria door would open, he'd find himself suddenly watching for any sign of a certain redhead.

"By the way, Shinji, I already called home and let everyone know what's going on," Hikari interrupted his moment of introspection. "I mean, I told _my_ mom, but, knowing her, that means the entire city will know what's going on before dinner."

Shinji chuckled at the thought. Mrs. Horaki was a well-known gossip: running a restaurant left her mostly in the people-business, and in a country town as small as Otsuki, big to-dos were pretty rare. Even the slightest tidbit of information became the topic of the day for the townspeople, and her helpless children trapped in Tokyo would most certainly be discussed non-stop until they returned.

"Do you need to borrow my phone and call-" Hikari caught herself, but it was too late. This was the first time Shinji had left town since she had passed, meaning it was the first time Shinji had left town on his own. Coupled with his father's sudden disappearance after the funeral, Shinji didn't have much left to talk to back home that wasn't already at Myojo Academy with him.

"Thanks, Hikari, but I'm ok," Shinji answered, still watching the doors.

The pigtailed brunette leaned in closer, putting her hand on top of Shinji's, causing him to look at her for the first time since they met up at lunch, "Hey… I'm sure she's here, somewhere. We'll find her and talk to her and make things right. Ok?"

Shinji couldn't help but force a fake smile; he knew dwelling on it wasn't going to help. He turned his body back to the table and listened to the conversation, hoping for a distraction. But he was mildly annoyed to hear where the conversation had landed:

"Say what? You won't find me doing it. It's no job for a man!" Toji stood, almost shouting at the group.

Mana teased the boy, "Well _, Shinji_ cooks, and he's _more_ than a man: he's a gentleman."

Blushing internally, Shinji could only address the first part: "Yeah, Toji, I cook."

"But I'm sure Shin-man only cooks manly things, like meat and chicken!"

Shinji chuckled, again swiping at Toji's machismo, "Nope, I cook pretty much everything. I actually make really good miso soup."

Now on the defensive, Toji took his last stand, "Well, I bet he doesn't wear a silly little apron or anything when he does it!"

"I do."

"But, I'm sure it's bad-ass and stuff!"

"It's green."

Completely deflated, the tough jock sat down in his seat, "You're killing me, man."

The table laughed at Toji's plight while Hikari rubbed his back, "Don't you worry, I'll cook for you."

The roar of laughter increased, Hikari blushing bright red, realizing the table heard her offer for the Osakan boy. Placing her hands tightly in her lap, Shinji noticed Toji reach over and pull one of her hands out, gently taking it in his.

Before Shinji could comment on it, there was a loud _BOP BOP BOP!_ on the PA system, and the cafeteria turned itself to see Director Fuyutsuki tapping the microphone at the front once again.

"Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon," repeated the school's guests.

"As lunch concludes, we will be dismissing you back to the dormitory. Just as before, you are free to move about your floors, but you are not permitted to travel between floors. And, once again, there is absolutely no co-ed fraternization for the time being."

A mild uproar began among the students, to which the Director quieted down with a simple raising of his left hand.

"I understand how it appears, but please be assured we are just making sure we have chaperones on each floor. Myojo Academy is not..." the Director coughed softly, "... _prepared_ for 400 teenagers to be, um, trapped in the building with so little staff."

Shinji noticed a purple-haired woman snickering behind the Director, who then turned and visually admonished her. She stood up straight, having been caught.

"And now," Fuyutsuki said, still staring at the woman while addressing the children, "The Deputy Director has generously agreed to explain our plans for the next few days."

The tall woman immediately glared at the Director, before taking the microphone and taking a few steps in front of the group of adults.

"Hi, uh, good morn- no, afternoon. Good afternoon. My name is Misato Katsuragi and I am the Deputy Director of Operations for Myojo Academy."

There was a little applause, but less than for the Director earlier this morning.

"After lunch we are going to dismiss you back to the dormitory, as the Director explained. Dinner will be served from 6:30 until 8:00, with the cafeteria and main lobby open until 10:00. After then, we are requiring all students to go back to their own dorm rooms until morning."

Misato paused to get confirmation from the Director, who simply nodded. She then continued: "Breakfast tomorrow will again be served starting at 7:30, and after that the lobby, cafeteria, and library will be open for the rest of the day.

"We will have chaperones stationed at each floor of the dormitory, as well, so you may," she cleared her throat and gave a look at the Director, "'fraternize' amongst each other. If students of the opposite sex enter the a dorm room, the door _must_ remain open at all times."

There was a light snickering throughout the room, but it died down quickly as Deputy Director Katsuragi finished.

"For clothing, we will open our laundry room later today, as I'm aware most of you didn't bring more than one or two changes of clothing.

"On behalf of Myojo Academy, I want to thank you all for your understanding during this. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be, your parents or guardians waiting for you while you're trapped in a building with hundreds of strangers. But, like Director Fuyutsuki said earlier: we will not even consider dismissing you until we are sure that it is safe to do so."

The tall purple-haired woman bowed slightly and smiled, "Thanks and I'll see you all around!"

She put the microphone back on its stand and turned to talk among the adults at the front when Shinji found himself already halfway through the cafeteria.

Standing before the teachers, Shinji stopped from gawking at the beautiful Deputy Director standing in front of him. The woman towered over him, her heeled boots adding another inch or two to her already impressive height.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Katsuragi?"

She turned and smiled down at him: "It's just 'Miss' Katsuragi. What can I do for you?"

Shinji found himself nervous in front of the woman, not entirely sure how to ask his question. "Umm, I, uh, I was wondering…"

"Yes?" she leaned forward a bit.

"I, uhh… There- there was a redheaded girl earlier. Asuka. Asuka Langley Soryu. She, uh, she's missing, and I was worried about her."

The woman's mood shifted quite quickly at the mention of Asuka. "Miss Soryu left earlier this morning, despite our warning against it."

Shinji's eyes grew wide for a moment, and then shifted down: he had missed his chance.

"She gave us all quite the tongue-lashing when we tried to stop her from leaving, and, well, apparently she has some connections, because someone called and demanded her release."

He looked up at the woman and thanked her for her time before starting back to the table. But she grabbed his arm for a moment, quietly offering, "I'm sorry, Shinji."

His heart pounded, mind racing the rest of the walk back across the cafeteria. The last 24 hours had become increasingly confusing, but it was this most recent encounter that made it truly unsettling:

_I never told her my name._

Sitting at the table, only Hikari noticed how visibly shaken Shinji was. "Hey, is everything ok?"

Unsure of how to broach _I feel like I'm going crazy!_ , he settled for, "The Deputy Director said Asuka forced her way out this morning, after the test. She's gone."

"I'm sorry," his best friend comforted him, confidently putting on a smile. "Hey, let's meet in the library tomorrow. I'm sure they'll have computers with Internet access. Maybe we can look her up?"

Reassured, the teenage boy smiled at the teenage girl. It was a genuine, earnest smile. A loving smile. A smile that could easily be misinterpreted for being romantic, but deep down both children knew that there was nothing more between them than the love of two almost siblings. And that was a love Shinji felt he'd been missing for far too long.

"You always know how to cheer me up," Shinji thanked his best friend.

"I know you'd do the same for me."

He embraced Hikari for a second before turning back to the table, feeling a little guilty about all of the sidebars the two of them had shared.

"Hey, Musashi, do you wanna 'fraternize' with me later?" Keita asked, giggling.

The boy couldn't help but laugh, "Sure!

"I mean, I get it: the situation is awkward, but the way the Director talked about it made it ten times worse. 'Fraternize'. Is that what they called it when he was young?"

More laughing at the table while Mana added, "We'd have to consult our ancestors!"

"I'll grab my history book!" Keita giggled some more.

"Maybe he learned to 'fraternize' in the Feudal Era!"

The table roared with laughter, temporarily displacing any uneasiness Shinji felt a few moments prior. But in the back of his mind, he couldn't help but think about the person missing from the table.

After the laughter subsided, Mana stood up, taking Keita's hand, "Hey, I need to go back to the room. I want to take stock of what clothes I have left!"

"Sounds good, let's go."

The group all joined and headed to the elevators, departing to their dorm rooms for the time being. The three boys exited the elevator on the fourth floor while their female counterparts continued upwards, with a wave and an agreement to meet at dinner.

* * *

After dinner, Shinji and the group decided it was time to retire for the night. Fatigued from what seemed like the longest day, beginning with a grueling exam and followed by nothing but endless amounts of free time mostly confined to their rooms, the male trio wearily stepped off of the elevator on the fourth floor.

Bidding the rest of the elevator party goodbye, Shinji, Musashi, and Toji walked down the hallway, Shinji's room 402 coming up first on the right.

"Good night," he said as he opened his door, noticing Toji had nervously lingered behind while Musashi continued down the hall.

"Hey, Shinji, can we chat for a sec?"

"Sure, Toji." Shinji entered the room and sat down on his bed, while the taller boy sat on the opposite, unoccupied bed.

"I've been meaning to ask you something," Toji offered.

Shinji looked at him, curiously.

"Tell me, tell me more about Hikari."

Shinji chuckled, sensing the nervousness behind his voice, "That's not a question, but I'll answer.

"Hikari is my best friend. She is the most genuine, wonderful person I've ever met in my entire life. I mean it: beyond my own family, beyond my own parents, beyond even m-" he paused. "The fact is, she'd do anything for me, and she'd likely do anything for anyone. No questions asked. _That's_ the kind of person you're dealing with."

Toji nodded his head, listening intently.

"I'm sure she's told you, though: she has two other sisters, one older and one younger. The older one will give you hell for the rest of your life, and the younger one… Well, let's just say, if Zuz- sorry, Nozomi doesn't like you, it's already game over."

Toji gulped, seemingly to shrink into the mattress.

"And that leaves me," Shinji said, staring directly into Toji's eyes. "I trust Hikari more than I trust anyone, and I _know_ she can take care of herself. But, if you hurt her-"

He paused, watching the jock squirm a little.

"I will _crush_ you."

The mood was tense for a moment, and Shinji suddenly felt a horrifying guilt, as if he'd somehow crossed a line, an unspoken line that he wasn't aware existed before just now. Thankfully, Toji broke the silence and the mood was quickly lifted.

"God damn, Shin-man, that was _some_ speech!" He stood and stretched. "Rest assured, I have no bad intentions with her. She's a wonderful gal, and she speaks _very_ highly of you."

Toji patted Shinji's shoulder and gave a confident smile, "You're a good dude. I can see why."

Shinji returned the smile, and slapped Toji on his shoulder, "I like you, Toji. I think you two are gonna be alright."

The new boy stood and left the room, Shinji following after to see him off. After closing the door, he collapsed on the bed finally allowing his mind to return to his missing friend.

 _What can I do to fix this, Asuka?_ he asked the ceiling. _I have to fix this…_

Shinji wasn't sure how it was possible that a complete stranger could have such an effect on him, but he knew it was more than a childish crush: there was something so compelling about the girl that drew him to her like a moth to a flame.

" _What about 'love at first sight' and all that?"_

He recalled Hikari's words and turned them over and over in his mind. His feelings for the enthusiastic redhead went beyond 'love at first sight', there was a deeper connection between the two of them. He wasn't sure how to put it into words, and he was terrified to even attempt to discuss the thought with the girl herself, but he was certain she felt it too.

He found himself once again staring at the same stained ceiling, now his temporary prison. He tossed and turned, as he tried to remember the strange sensation he felt the last time a new song appeared on his SDAT. Drifting into sleep, he settled on his side, almost feeling the warmth and weight of a person behind him, sharing his mattress.

* * *

 _Hey Shinji, you idiot, don't you want to be one with me?  
_ _To be of one mind and body?  
It would be really awesome.  
You ought to appreciate your good fortune.  
Come on..._

* * *

Shinji bolted upright in his bed, as if he heard a voice calling out to him. His steel blue eyes scanned the room, searching for the redheaded songstress beckoning his ship to the rocks, but finding nothing but an empty bed with his bag on it.

He slowed his breathing, attempting to calm his racing heart. Unsure of what he had just seen in his dreams, Shinji desperately tried to hold on to any fleeting detail, but they faded too quickly for him to hold on. The boy checked his watch before staring out the window at the still piling snow.

 _9:41? I overslept breakfast?_ he thought. _I didn't think I was_ that _tired..._

Shifting to the edge of his bed, Shinji reached to his backpack and pulled his notebook out, looking at the song lyrics he'd jotted down previously. After a few moments of deep thought, Shinji turned to a new page and began to write everything he knew about Asuka.

_Asuka Langley Soryu. 14. Germany._

_That's not a lot,_ he frowned. His eyes then turned towards the large window, watching the snowstorm continue to rage on, _I hope the weather's better where you are..._

He stared at the sheet of paper, searching his memory one last time for any clue about her she may have mentioned. Finding nothing, Shinji closed his notebook and changed. Mentally preparing himself for punishment for his tardiness, he headed downstairs to the library to meet Hikari.

Shinji eventually spotted the pigtailed brunette waiting impatiently on a bench before the library's doors.

"You're late, _mister_."

He could only apologize, unable to explain the strange dream that kept him unconscious for so long: a dream so pleasant it could pass for a fantasy, if only he could understand what actually had occurred.

"It's fine, I've only been waiting here for a few minutes. Let's go in and see if we can find Asuka," Hikari forgave and forgot.

The library was a massive three-story building adjacent to the main building. Thousands of books lined the shelves, with banks of computers located in each section, and couches and other seating arrangements set throughout.

Hikari checked in with the librarian and was assigned a computer on the second floor. The duo quietly walked up the stairs, taking in the sights of the library's seemingly infinite collection.

"Wow, this is the biggest library I've ever been in," Hikari whispered.

"It's almost as big as our entire school," Shinji answered.

Sitting down at the assigned computer, Hikari punched in the log-in information and went straight to the web browser.

"Ok, what do we know about her?" she asked.

"Her name is 'Asuka Langley Soryu', she's 14, and she's from Germany," Shinji recalled.

After typing the information in, Hikari looked at her partner, "Really? That's it?"

"What else? We'd only met that morning!" Shinji whispered forcefully. "Wait, wait. Her dad is American."

"'American fath-'" she started typing before glaring at Shinji, "How is _that_ supposed to helpful?!"

He grinned sheepishly and focused on the computer monitor, doing his best to avoid the girl's death-stare. "Ummm… maybe she's from Berlin?"

"Try 'Brandenburg'. She's not from Berlin."

"Yeah, good idea," Shinji answered, watching Hikari type a few more letters.

"'B- _U_ -R-G', not 'B-E'. It's not an iceberg."

The brunette tapped the Backspace key a few times, changing the letters and halting inches from pressing Enter. Both she and Shinji made a sudden realization, turning to see the devil herself standing behind them.

"As-ASUKA!" Shinji leapt to his feet, hearing a loud shush from around the computer bank.

Asuka smiled and curtsied slightly, "I mean, I was _born_ in Berlin, but I've lived in Brandenburg my entire life."

Shinji quickly wrapped his arms around the girl, pulling her close for a hug, until he realized the display he was putting on in front of Hikari and slowly backed away.

The redhead stood still for a second, stunned, watching Shinji intently.

It was Hikari that broke the awkward silence. Having turned off the computer, she also gave Asuka a hug, though not as enthusiastic as Shinji's, "Welcome back!"

She returned Hikari's hug, though her eyes were still watching Shinji, "I missed you."

"Where have you been?!" Hikari loudly asked, before being shushed once again from around the desk. Blushing, she quieted down, "Sorry, where have you been?"

Asuka waved the question off, whispering, "Not here, let's go somewhere we can talk."

Hikari nodded, turned, and led the group down the stairs and back out of the library, to the bench in the connecting hall from earlier.

"Geez, there's only a couple hundred of us here. You'd think they wouldn't shush someone at the library still," Asuka thought out loud.

"I guess it's just habit," Shinji answered.

Hikari ignored the small talk, "So, Miss Soryu of _Brandenburg_ , where _have_ you been?"

Asuka sat down next to Hikari and sighed, "So, yeah… How do I start this: umm, my family is wealthy. Like, _very_ wealthy. And they've already enrolled me at the top schools in Europe and America. But, I don't want that. I really wanted to come to Japan: I felt _drawn_ to this place, which is why I'm testing to come here.

"Yesterday, before the exam, I overheard the Deputy Director talking about the weather issues and that they might not let the students leave. I was, uh… trying to avoid something," she glanced at Shinji for a moment before continuing, "so I called home and let them know.

"He was already upset that I'd come to take the entry exam without his blessing, so my father told me that after the exam I was to take a taxi straight to the airport and a chartered plane would be waiting for me. I tried explaining it to the poor woman, but I _may_ have let my frustrations boil over on her."

"Frustrations? About the exam? Or your father?" Hikari asked.

"Kinda everything," Asuka quickly answered. "Anyway, as soon as I finished the test, I rushed out and got a taxi to the airport. I didn't even get my stuff from my room. Well, the airport isn't allowing any flights out because of the storm, so my father told me to book a hotel and wait.

"But, I figured if I'm going to be stuck in Japan for a few days, I'd rather be here with you-" Asuka paused for a brief moment, her eyes getting wide as she caught what she had said. "-guys, you guys! All of you, haha!"

The redhead chuckled nervously, as Hikari asked, "But how did you get back in the building?"

"Yeah," Asuka smiled sheepishly, "It took a lot of apologizing and a generous donation to the school from the Langley family. Don't tell my dad about that, yet, he'll figure it out later."

Hikari covered her mouth and smiled at the thought, and Shinji spoke up, "Well, I'm glad you're here, too, Asuka."

"Thanks Shinji. Now, I know I just got back, but I need a favor."

"Sure."

"I need to talk to Hikari for a bit. It's… girl stuff."

There was a lot to discuss since he'd seen her last, but Shinji knew rushing the girl when she'd only just returned was unlikely to help their relationship. He smiled again at the two girls and told them to find him in his room when they're done, or he'll meet them at lunch.

"We'll come get you, now that we're allowed to 'fraternize'," Hikari giggled.

Asuka gave the pigtailed brunette a confused look, but she just shook her head, "Long story, I'll tell you later."

Shinji stole one last glance at the beautiful redhead before heading up to his room, finding it difficult to keep from bouncing off the walls with excitement.

 _She came back. There's still time,_ he thought.

As he entered the room, he looked out the window, watching as the snowfall seemed to pick up its pace, rapidly piling even higher on the ground. _We might have more time than I thought…_

* * *

A gentle knock at the door brought Shinji out of his trance, as he unfolded his right arm down to his side.

The cello was one of the few hobbies he had, his private tutor becoming a pseudo-therapist after the diagnosis. Shinji would often find himself practicing the instrument to avoid thinking about medical terms like "terminal" and "cancer", but just as often when he needed time to think things over, like his promise to still apply for Myojo Academy.

Being a large instrument unsuitable for travel, Shinji learned to curl his right arm on itself vertically, holding his fist against his left shoulder. He could then practice finger positions on his arm as if it was the neck of the instrument.

Crude, but effective when there was no instrument to be found, it was usually accompanied by a piece on his SDAT player, something now containing two mysterious songs that he'd hoped to discuss with his new guest.

Opening the door, Shinji flinched when Asuka attempted to knock again, falling forwards from the sudden lack of physical barrier.

"Oh! Uh, hi!" the girl said, startled.

"Hi," Shinji replied. "Come on in."

The normally energetic girl followed Shinji in the room nervously, the door slowly shutting when a voice called from down the hall, "402, leave the door open."

Shinji leaned out and waved at the chaperone, an older male with dark hair and glasses. Propping the door open, he sat down on his bed and watched Asuka's eyes dart back and forth, clearly unsure of how to start the conversation.

Sitting directly across from the nervous girl, he decided to make the first move, "Asuka, I-"

But she held up her hand almost immediately to silence him, looking down at his shoes, "I'm sorry."

"What? What are you sorry for?" Shinji was surprised.

The redhead refused to look at him, her usually brilliant blue eyes being hidden by her bangs as she continued, "So many things. For the way I reacted, for what I said, for running away, for... for almost hitting you."

"Asuka…"

But she held her hand up again, clearly not finished, "Shinji, that last one is the one that I'm most sorry for. _That_ isn't me. Yelling at you, talking down to you, trying to hit you… that's not me. It's never been me… or, at least I thought so."

Shinji was starting to become confused, "What do you mean?"

She looked up at him, her stare almost frightening, but he could also see the confusion behind it, "The other day, by the vending machines. It felt _so natural_. Like, I don't know why, but I just suddenly felt disgusted by you…"

"Oh…" Shinji replied, dejected.

"... and my feelings..."

Now even more confused, Shinji stared back at the girl. _Feelings? For me?_

"I talked to Hikari. A lot. About you, about the type of person you are. And… before I get into it any more, I want to know what _you_ remember."

"What I remember? About the incident in the lobby?"

"No, before that: in the cafeteria. You know, with the…" Asuka's words trailed off, and Shinji couldn't blame her: he didn't really know how to describe what had happened either.

"You sat down next to me and wanted to listen to that song again. I turned it on and then, I don't know, it… it felt like we were somewhere else. It felt like I was some _one_ else," Shinji described. "And- I don't know, it sounds stupid."

Asuka pressed forward, "What? What else?"

"It felt hot. Like, _really_ hot. Uncomfortably hot."

"Summertime hot."

Shinji looked into Asuka's eyes, happy to know there was someone else he shared that experience with. Two minds were always better than one, and Shinji was grateful that the other mind happened to be attached to someone like her.

"That's not the only difference I felt. It felt like-" Shinji started, but was cut off quickly.

"I think I know where you're going, and that's going to be harder to test. For now, let's stick with the physical.

"I want to head down to the cafeteria and sit at that table again," Asuka explained, standing up off the bed. She looked down at Shinji, and held her hand out to him, "I want to see if there's a vent or something that would cause everything to feel hotter. That would make a lot more sense than… I don't even know what the alternative would be."

Shinji took her hand as she pulled him up, smiling and agreeing, "Ok, let's go. It's almost lunch, so we'll have plenty of time to get a good feel for the room."

"Right."

The two teens were on a mission, a clandestine mission to prove their own sanity to no one but themselves, but an important mission nonetheless. Hoping to find some mundane reason for the suddenly experienced climate change, Shinji and Asuka left the dormitory and entered the cafeteria, both keeping a suspicious eye on the ceiling.

"I think it was this table," the male investigator said, looking around the room for a reference.

But his female partner was quick to correct him, manually rocking the table she was standing at, "No, it's this one. I remember the table wobbled horribly when Mana and them sat down, almost spilling my drink."

"Oh yeah, you're right," Shinji replied, joining Asuka at the table before eyeing the ceiling above them. It didn't add up: what he saw couldn't possibly explain what had happened.

After a few silent minutes, Asuka spotted a janitor working across the cafeteria and called out to him, "Excuse me, sir!"

The older man looked up and started to walk over to the two, "Yes, is everything okay?"

"I, uh, I have a weird question. Umm, is the heat on right now?"

The janitor paused for a second, clearly confused as to why a student would ask that, answering, "Well, of course it is. It's December and there's a blizzard, why wouldn't it be?"

Shinji jumped in, hoping to assist his friend, "It's pretty cold in here, sir. We were just worried about our fellow students' wellbeing."

"Do you see those big windows on that side?" he asked, pointing to a large wall of windows, before sweeping his hand to the opposite wall. "And those over there? And look up, see those big fancy skylights?"

Shinji and Asuka stood still in the chilly cafeteria, staring up at the large openings in the ceiling that were meant to bring in natural light when not covered in snow. Those same skylights were exactly what the two teens noticed when they entered, snuffing out what little hope they had for a rational explanation.

"Well, each of those factors would be a pain to insulate by themselves. But put all three in one room, especially one as large as this one, and you've got the coldest room on campus. I've tried to explain this to the Directors, but they just wave it off as nonsense because it looks so pretty in the summer."

At a loss for words, Asuka and Shinji found themselves standing quietly, silently defeated, while the elderly janitor finished up his rant, "Shitload of windows to clean, too…"

"Thank you for your time," is all Shinji could muster as the janitor returned to his duties. Shifting his focus, he sat down and watched Asuka, "Hey, are you okay…?"

The redhead smiled softly, and sat down next to Shinji, a concerned look in her eyes, "I'm not crazy, right? It was _warm_ , Shinji."

Shinji reached under the table, brushing Asuka's hands reassuringly, "I felt it, too. I wouldn't lie about something like this. Not… not just to spend time with you."

He could feel the girl's hands almost join his when she quickly pulled them back and put on a face, "'Not _just_ to spend time with me'? What does _that_ mean?!"

"That's not- I, that's not what I meant! I meant I wasn't tricking you into being with me!" he stammered back, defensively.

But Asuka relented, an honest smile on her face, as she placed her hands in Shinji's for a brief moment, "I know what you meant, dummkopf. You're just too much fun to mess with."

After a pause, Shinji's eyes lit up, "Hey, I've got an idea."

The redhead raised a solitary eyebrow and watched as Shinji pulled his SDAT player out of his backpack, unrolling the earphones wrapped around it.

"I didn't know you brought that," she commented as he handed one of the earphones to her.

"I almost didn't, but it felt like a good idea. I thought it might come in handy." Shinji took a deep breath, putting his earphone in, waiting for a nod from Asuka before pressing PLAY.

The couple sat alone at the table, silent except for the soft music playing between the two. Occasionally they would steal a glance at each other, unsure of what they were actually looking for in the eyes of the other, but not finding the solution to the most pressing question at hand.

When the song turned over to the next track, Shinji stopped it, standing up, "Hang on, I was sitting on your left last time."

"Do you _really_ think that matters?" Asuka asked sharply.

"I at least want to try."

The annoyed redhead started to grunt out an "Idiot", but caught herself and apologized. "I'm sorry, I don't know where… I'm just frustrated."

Smiling and understanding, Shinji sat down on the girl's left and swapped his earphone to the other side, "It's ok. I am, too."

Once again, he waited for confirmation that Asuka was ready, this time a less confident nod. Pressing PLAY, he closed his eyes, relaxing as the piano of the second track took over.

The song continued for a few verses before Shinji found himself again slowly opening his eyes to look into Asuka's. Two pairs of blue met: one as crystal as the ocean, the other as dark as the night's sky.

But nothing else happened.

"Close your eyes," Asuka whispered. "I have an idea."

At the final chorus of the song, Shinji closed his eyes, hoping that the lack of visual stimulation would somehow open a portal back to that strange moment in time. However, it wasn't a wormhole into another world that surprised him, instead it was a soft pair of lips planted on his right cheek.

He quickly opened his eyes, the song's piano slowing until landing on a solitary key, and found himself staring at the most beautiful girl in the world.

"Oh my goodness!"

The loud exclamation from across the cafeteria instantly snapped both teens back to reality, a bright blush spreading all over their faces. Shinji looked to see Hikari, Mana, and Keita walking towards them, as dozens of other kids entered the cafeteria.

"How long have you been there?" Shinji asked meekly.

"Long enough to see that!" Hikari smiled, standing at the table. "My goodness; we'll go grab the food. You lovebirds just sit back and relax."

Asuka buried her head in her hands, her cheeks almost as bright as her hair. "Mein gott, what have I done?"

As the others left them alone, Shinji looked at the glowing red figure next to him, "Yeah, what _did_ you do that for?"

"I don't know, I thought it would work!" Asuka shouted, exasperated. "I'm sorry!"

Shinji found himself having to correct the girl, "Hey, don't apologize. I, umm, I actually liked it."

Her head still buried in her hands, she turned slightly to look at the boy, "Me too. Sorry to just spring it on you, though."

"It's ok. Did you really think it would work, though?"

"For some reason I did. I felt this… deep urge to just 'go for it'. So, yeah. I did."

Blushing again, Shinji could hardly process what he was hearing, "Well, I'm glad you did. And, I'm sorry it didn't work."

After a few moments in thought, Asuka shook her head, "It's fine. We'll figure it out. We'll try again later."

"Try what again?"

Shinji looked up to see Mana joining them at the table, food tray in hand, "Nothing. Just a little project we're working on."

"Does it have to do with the New Years Eve Dance?" she asked, smiling as Hikari, Keita, and Musashi sat at the table, passing over the extra food trays they brought.

Asuka's eyes opened wide, "The _what_?"

Hikari joined in, "Well, the latest forecast shows the storm's only going to get worse before it gets better. So, we'll probably be here through New Years. The Academy is talking about holding a dance to keep us all entertained. I thought you knew about it."

"Wait, it's almost New Years? And when did this all get decided?" Shinji asked, shifting uncomfortably.

"Yeah, it's the 29th. We haven't been here _that_ long," Musashi chimed in.

"And it was this morning at breakfast, I forgot you weren't there," Hikari answered. "The Deputy Director was excited about it and asked for volunteers to decorate, create a playlist, all sorts of stuff."

 _It's the 29th?_ Shinji pondered.

"Hikari and I volunteered to help decorate!" Mana exclaimed, following up with, "And then Hikari volunteered Toji. Something about needing a ' _big, tall boy_ ' to help."

Hikari blushed at the mention, "That is _not_ what I said!"

Almost as if summoned, Toji sat down next to Hikari, smiling wide, "That's pretty close to what you said. But, if a 'big, tall _man_ ' is what you need, look no farther. What about you Shinji?"

"Huh?" Shinji bought himself a second to think, "Oh, I think I'll pass. I've got, uh…"

" _We've_ got another project, that, uh, the Director assigned us," Asuka finished, smiling confidently.

"Oooh, some sort of secret mission… of love?" Keita teased, causing the duo to blush again. "We all saw you kissing."

"You did what? Shin-man, I never thought you had it in you!" Toji cheered with a slap on the table.

Shinji tried to correct the group, but gave up, "No, it's not- That's not what happened. Oh, never mind."

The rest of lunch carried on similarly, the group discussing both the upcoming dance and the two new couples at the table. At first both Shinji and Asuka attempted to explain the precarious situation they'd been found in, but they both realized it was futile, especially considering the truth about what they were trying to do was even stranger than any fiction.

After lunch, the group went their separate ways, Asuka inviting Shinji to meet in the library to work on their secret project.

Sitting down at one of the smaller tables tucked away in the corner, Shinji pulled his SDAT player and notebook out and set them in front of him, but Asuka started with another topic: "Did you know today was the 29th of December?"

"No," he answered, "I… I just knew it was late December."

Asuka visibly shivered in front of him, whispering, "Same. Like, I just had this vague idea of when it was, but… nothing more."

Shinji could only nod his head in agreement, unnerved by the sudden thought that he had very few specific memories from before the day prior.

"Do you think that's related to all this?" Asuka asked, nodding at the SDAT.

"I… I don't know. None of this makes sense."

Asuka pressed on, "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Huh?"

"Before we met at the subway, what's the last thing you remember?"

Shinji paused, searching his memory for anything specific, "I… don't know. I… I don't know, Asuka. That's weird."

"Do you think there's something in these songs that explains it?" the girl asked, now holding the SDAT player. She put an earphone in and handed the other to Shinji.

"Hey, please be careful with that," he began to plead as he inserted his earpiece. "It's-"

"Shinji, hey," Asuka said, delicately handling the prized possession, "I promise I'll be careful."

Shinji tried to rebut her, but once again found himself swimming in her eyes while she looked over the object, treading water momentarily before being pulled under the surface. His eyes lingered on hers for what began to feel like an uncomfortably long time, so he turned away and opened his notebook.

As Asuka turned the music on, Shinji took out a pencil and started going over the lyrics of the songs, tapping around words and verses, searching for a pattern, a theme, a clue. Anything.

Asuka reached out and took the pencil from him, and began to write something down, but immediately stopped, as if her thought hadn't completed yet.

"I don't get it," she whispered over the track. "What triggered… _that_ , on Sunday? Just… us _listening_ together?"

Shinji shrugged, reaching back for the pencil, when it was fumbled between the two and rolled onto the floor. Asuka dropped down to pick it up from under the desk where it rolled, starting to offer it to Shinji before she noticed the wad of chewed gum that had stuck to it.

The curious redhead looked at the gummed-pencil for a moment before taking it back into her possession. Shinji watched as she tore a blank piece of paper out of the notebook, scraping the gum off.

Satisfied it was clean, Asuka handed it back to Shinji, the music still adding to the atmosphere between them. At the moment his hand grasped the other end of the pencil, Shinji saw a brief flash of a classroom and a wardrobe change for the both of them.

In that instant they were surrounded by friends and classmates, none of them distinct, all watching the front of the classroom. Shinji was turned to his right, facing Asuka, as she handed him a writing utensil, a mischievous grin on her face.

The fourteen year-old pilot turned his head to read the chalkboard, making out two strange words scribbled on the board. But the flash disappeared as quick as it had appeared, their ears were now filled with something new: a synthesizer, followed by drums and electric guitars:

 **The cycle repeated  
** **As explosions broke in the sky  
** **All that I needed  
** **Was the one thing I couldn't find**

**And you were there at the turn  
Waiting to let me know**

**We're building it up  
** **To break it back down  
** **We're building it up  
** **To burn it down  
** **We can't wait  
** **To burn it to the ground**

"Shinji..."

 **The colors conflicted  
** **As the flames climbed into the clouds  
** **I wanted to fix this  
** **But couldn't stop from tearing it down**

 **And you were there at the turn  
** **Caught in the burning glow  
** **And I was there at the turn  
** **Waiting to let you know**

 **We're building it up  
** **To break it back down  
** **We're building it up  
** **To burn it down  
** **We can't wait  
** **To burn it to the ground**

Shinji and Asuka again sat together in relative silence, again finding themselves hearing music they've never heard before, again questioning just what was going on.

 **You told me yes, you held me high  
** **And I believed when you told that lie  
** **I played soldier, you played king  
** **And struck me down when I kissed that ring  
** **You lost that right, to hold that crown  
** **I built you up, but you let me down  
** **So when you fall, I'll take my turn  
** **And fan the flames as your blazes burn**

 **And you were there at the turn  
** **Waiting to let me know**

 **We're building it up  
** **To break it back down  
** **We're building it up  
** **To burn it down  
** **We can't wait  
** **To burn it to the ground**

 **When you fall, I'll take my turn  
** **And fan the flames as your blazes burn  
** **We can't wait  
** **To burn it to the ground**

 **When you fall, I'll take my turn  
** **And fan the flames as your blazes burn  
** **We can't wait  
** **To burn it to the ground**

As the song concluded, Shinji stopped the music and turned to Asuka, surprised to see an annoyed look on her face.

"A pencil? _That's_ what triggered this?" she asked.

"I, I don't think it was the pencil. I… don't know what it was. Maybe it was the pencil. This is all so confusing," Shinji began rambling.

She smiled softly at him, turning to a new page in his notebook, "Hey, dummy, focus. Did you… did you see something again?"

Shinji shook his head, clearing any temporary cobwebs that had appeared, "Yeah. It was… a classroom."

"Oh, good, I saw the same thing. You were wearing different clothes," Asuka recalled. "It definitely wasn't winter."

"Yeah, you too. A blue dress…" Shinji agreed. "This is too weird…"

"Let's see if there's something in this new song."

The two teens listened to the song again, stopping and rewinding after every line to take down lyrics in their notebook.

After the lyrics were fully put down on paper, Shinji pressed PLAY a final time and the couple listened as all three tracks cycled on repeat. Flipping back and forth between the lyrics, it was Asuka that reached out and pressed the STOP button a final time.

Shinji looked up from the paper and saw the girl's eyes, once again wide with a slightly terrified confusion.

"Shinji," she asked apprehensively. "Why is everything on fire?"

* * *

Song: "Burn It Down" by Linkin Park


	4. One More Last Try

Shinji's eyes darted around the expansive library for a moment, completely missing the reference Asuka was making. Jumping out of his seat, he cried out, "What?!"

"No, sit down, idiot," she hissed. "Not _literally_ 'on fire', I meant in the songs."

The boy collected himself, sitting back down and breathing a sigh of relief that their immediate surroundings weren't ablaze. He watched as his partner started circling lyrics on the most recent entry.

"'Building it up to burn it down', 'we can't wait to burn it to the ground', 'fan the flames as your blazes burn'..." she read aloud, the pencil then jumping to the top of the page. "'Explosions broke in the sky', 'flames climbed into the clouds'..."

Shinji eyed the notebook curiously as Asuka flipped back a page, her hand darting around the page circling more and more frantically.

"And here: 'I said the world could be burning, burning down'..."

The confident redhead appeared more nervous than ever, as Shinji watched her breath catch repeatedly in her throat, an almost undeniable pile of evidence seemingly piling up in front of them.

"And in the first one: 'But I believe the world is burning to the ground', 'well I believe it all is coming to an end,' and, uh, here, 'I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world..."

Asuka slumped back in her chair, almost all color drained from her face; her complexion matched the falling snow just outside the building, skin as cold as the icicles hanging from the building's awning. Even her eyes, normally a brilliant, dazzling shade of blue, momentarily glazed over with a dull sheen.

Whatever the two teens were in suddenly bore much more significance: the music, once seemingly random and unfamiliar now showed to have a common theme. Unfortunately, it appeared that the theme was a cataclysm of some form.

Shinji reached out and took the girl's cold, trembling hand in his, slowly coaxing her out of her shell and back into the Myojo Academy library: "Asuka... Asuka, talk to me. Please."

"Does 'Second Impact' mean anything to you?" she asked dryly, eyes still unfocused.

The flash of classroom reappeared in Shinji's mind: he definitely remembered seeing those two strange words in the vision from earlier. "You saw that, too?"

Asuka squeezed his hand back and looked at him, a reassuring sign to Shinji, "Yeah. I saw the words written on this chalkboard at the front of the room. I've never heard that term before: 'Second Impact'."

"Me neither. But, it feels like I should know the answer."

"Right?"

Shinji stood from his chair, twisting and stretching, "Hey, we're in a library: let's go look. I'm sure there's something in here about it."

"You know, that's a pretty smart idea coming from you," Asuka bluntly stated.

Aghast, Shinji stared at Asuka, who he noticed just realized what she had said.

"Mein gott, I'm sorry, that was rude," she apologized.

Truth be told, Shinji didn't think anything of it, which was definitely confusing for the normally confident boy. But that was something he could ponder later, it wasn't important at the moment.

"It's okay, Asuka. I know you didn't mean it," he accepted.

The two then silently nodded and headed deeper into the library, searching in different sections for references to the two strange words. At one point Shinji logged onto a computer, scouring the Internet for any information the impressive library might be missing.

After a couple hours of searching and collecting data, Shinji found Asuka sitting in the medical section, pouring over a book, and invited her back to their table.

"So, I'm guessing you found the same thing I did," Shinji mentioned as they sat down, referencing the section she was found in, setting his stack of printouts on the table next to her textbook.

"It's all medical: something called 'second impact syndrome' is the only thing I could find," the redhead opened her finding to the marked page.

"I found the same," Shinji pulled out a stapled packet from his stack of papers. "Here's a 2009 medical journal: 'Controversy surrounds Second Impact Syndrome, SIS, a condition so rare that even the frequency of its occurrence is in question. From 1980 to 1993 the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury Research in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, identified thirty-five probable cases among American football players."

"I feel like I'd remember getting a concussion," Asuka thought aloud. "And the likelihood _both_ of us got one and it's causing us to have the same vision..."

"... is pretty much impossible," Shinji finished. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up again, attempting to add some levity to the situation, "Well, there _is_ one other thing..."

The redhead perked up as he sifted through the papers, pulling one out with a familiar logo on the top and handing it to her. She read it aloud, "'Street Fighter III 2nd Impact: Giant Attack'?"

Shinji chuckled out loud, "Yeah, I know, but I figured we could use something to lighten the mood."

Asuka began to start giggling, the small sound working its way down from her shoulders to her chest, finally becoming a full belly-laugh. She tossed her head back, gasping for breath as she cracked up. Several loud shushes from around the library brought the lively girl back to Earth, and she clamped her hand over her mouth.

Wiping tears away, she looked at the stunned boy, "Oh come on, you don't see how this is funny?"

Shinji shrugged, happy to see Asuka was taking it well.

"Shinji, I feel like I'm going crazy, and for a very brief moment I honestly considered it because of a video game: all of this because of verfickter _Street Fighter_!"

Finding the humor in it as well, Shinji smiled and laughed with her. Street Fighter warning of the end of the world through the two teens was incredibly unlikely, but so far nothing else made much sense of it all either.

Asuka's eyes finally dried up, her cheeks returning to their normal color. "It's more likely than both of us having multiple concussions, but even then, it's just impossible."

"Well, I looked into something else, too," Shinji started, "But nothing came of it."

"What's that?"

"Well, I imagine if there's a _second_ 'Impact', there should be a first, right?"

"That would make sense."

"But I found nothing useful. Nothing we'd be learning about in a school setting."

The redhead paused, deep in thought, "Yeah, about that: why were we in class together?"

Shinji hadn't considered that before, but it added a new wrinkle to the equation.

"I've never been to Japan before now, and I don't think you've ever been to Germany."

"No, I would've mentioned it."

"Exactly," Asuka continued. "Do you think... do you think we're seeing the future? We're seeing us together at Myojo Academy?"

"Maybe?" Shinji unconfidently answered. "I don't know. None of this makes sense. We're not seeing enough of the picture. Are you suggesting that the songs are trying to prevent the end of the world next year?"

Asuka shrugged, nervously twisting her hair in her fingers, "I don't know what I'm suggesting..."

The two sat in silence for a bit, each deep in thought, trying to remember any more details of their two experiences, but neither could come up with anything helpful or interesting.

"What," Asuka was the first to break the silence, "uh, what do you think is triggering all this? The songs and, you know, visions and stuff?"

Shinji pondered the thought before answering, "Honestly? I think it's you."

He watched as the redhead raised her eyebrow questioningly.

"More like, it's _us_."

"Elaborate."

Shinji shifted in his seat, piecing together the events as best possible: "We first met at the subway station, I pulled you off the car before the doors shut."

"I remember, you held my hand like a weirdo."

"Yeah, sorr-" Shinji started, but a sharp look from Asuka shut down the line of thought. He cleared his throat and corrected the course, "Well, part of that was this weirdly familiar sensation I got from you: like we'd met each other before."

"Makes sense, I think I felt the same thing," she responded, continuing, "but I guess I brushed it off like you were some kinda pervert."

Shinji blushed at the thought, stammering out, "Wha- what?! _That's_ the impression I gave off?!"

The girl shook her head quickly, "No, that's what I _thought_ , because I couldn't explain it otherwise. Because normal strangers don't hold your hand for an awkward amount of time. And normal strangers definitely don't make you feel like you've forgotten the name of one of your closest friends."

His heart slowing back down, Shinji nodded, "That's almost exactly what it was: I felt like I knew you, and then guilty because I couldn't remember who you were."

"Okay, okay. Let's move on."

"I listened to the song by myself later, and that's when you and Hikari listened. You said you heard it, too, and we tried again together after lunch."

"And I felt that familiarity again," Asuka continued. "I think that's what you were trying to say earlier in your dorm?"

Again, Shinji nodded in agreement, "Yeah. Beyond the physical temperature change, I felt a different kind of connection to you. Like we were... almost friends."

"'Almost friends', that's one way to put it. I was going to say roommates."

"And the last time was just now. With the pencil, of all things," the confused boy finished. His mind raced, so many clues laid out in front of him, but seemingly none connected. "Which is why I say it's 'us': us being together."

"'Being together'," Asuka echoed in thought.

" _Doing_ things together."

"' _Doing_ things toge-'" she paused her repetition, "'Doing things together'? So, you _are_ a pervert."

"Not like that!" Shinji refuted, smiling after he caught Asuka's giggle.

"I know, I know. But still... does that mean we have to, you know, go..." she gulped. "... further?"

The two teens stared at each other in the quiet library. Two lonely souls in a room with a million stories, each watching to see if the other makes the first move. Not one of the million stories would help them now as they stared, but the first move would have to wait as they were interrupted by a pig-tailed girl sitting at the table with them.

"You two have been off on your own for hours, and you're reading..." Hikari rifled through the stack of papers and the textbook on the table, "... about concussions?"

"Uhh, yeah..." is all Shinji could muster.

" _This_ is your secret project from the Director?"

There was an unconvincing silence until Asuka spoke up, the first to pick up the line of thought: "Yeah, there was a student, uh, that slipped and fell. And they needed help with it."

But Hikari clearly wasn't buying it, "The Director is a doctor, of _some_ sort, and my test proctor was also a doctor. Why would they need _your_ help?"

Another pregnant pause, and once again Asuka came to the rescue: "Well... they knew I was a 'Langley', and the Langley Foundation is a well-known head-trauma research group. The Deputy Director assumed I would be able to help some."

Shinji sat, dumbfounded, watching the brilliant redhead come up with an answer for everything, "Yeah, that."

Said redhead rolled her eyes at the boy's confirmation, muttering under her breath, "Very helpful."

Apparently Hikari bought it, though, as her concerned look turned to a smile, "Wow, I didn't know that! That makes sense. How's it going, then?"

"Oh, she'll recover. Just needs some rest."

Shinji chimed in, trying to help again, "Good news is back injuries-"

"Head injuries, dummkopf," Asuka corrected.

"Yeah, head injuries are easy to care for!" he finished with his cheesiest smile.

Hikari looked at Shinji suspiciously again, before shrugging and standing up, "Well, okay then. This is beyond me, so, it's almost dinner. See you in the cafeteria?"

Asuka and Shinji both agreed, seeing Hikari off before settling back down at the table with a deep sigh.

"'The Langley Institute'?" Shinji asked incredulously.

Asuka winked at him, " _Actually,_ that part's true. Remember when I said my parents were wealthy? My father is a neurosurgeon, and after an, uh, accident with mama- I mean, my mother, he created the Langley Foundation."

"Oh, that's cool."

"Yeah. My father's pretty famous around the world for it, and we've all travelled quite a bit, so that part wasn't even a stretch. They even partnered with..." she paused uncomfortably, "... another group, for... another cause. But... that didn't work..."

The girl trailed off, leaving both teens in silence. After a few minutes, Shinji reached out and touched her hand, smiling at her when she finally looked him in the eyes.

"Never mind all that. Let's put this away and get to dinner!"

"Sounds good, Asuka."

* * *

At dinner, the two teens found themselves at the center of a lively conversation. Originally beginning with the Langley Foundation and the mysterious student with the head injury, the topic morphed into the more general question of their regular disappearing act.

"Mana, my goodness, we've only been here a few days. How do they 'keep' doing anything?" asked Keita.

"Well, it just seems like they're together an awful lot," Mana answered. Turning back to said duo, she questioned them, " _Are_ you together? Like, 'together' together?"

Shinji turned bright red, unsure of what the appropriate answer is. He attempted to put it into words, "Well, I really-" but Asuka interrupted him.

"We just met, I barely know him!" she got out quickly.

"I met him the same day you did, Asuka, and I already think Shinji's wonderful!" Mana beamed again, blinking her eyes bashfully.

"Well good for you," Asuka replied sarcastically. "But _I_ don't fall in love with everyone I meet."

Shinji turned and looked at Asuka, unsure of what to make of her response. She certainly seemed interested in the library, on the verge of opening up to him, despite the oddly dark topics they were discussing, but now she was again distant. He waited for a bit while both Asuka and Mana chided back and forth at each other, hoping the redhead would look his way, but she had targeted Mana and never once glanced at the very boy they were arguing about.

Thankfully, Hikari inserted herself in between the feuding girls, "Asuka, Mana, please: let's let Shinji decide."

 _Oh, come on Hikari!_ he pleaded with his eyes. But before he could attempt to answer, the doors next to their table burst open and several of the school's administration entered the room, arguing amongst each other.

"Misato, I'm telling you this is a terrible idea…" Director Fuyutsuki said, rubbing his temples as they walked.

"Relax, Kozo, it'll be fine," the tall woman replied, looking around the room.

"I told you this yesterday: a school dance held at midnight with 400, ahem," he cleared his throat, "'trapped' adolescents is a recipe for disaster. How are we going to manage them all?!"

Deputy Director Katsuragi smiled confidently, "The same way we handle every school dance!"

"I don't have enough booze for that."

"Shut up, Ryo," the blonde woman retorted before turning to Misato. "Except _those_ dances aren't usually held until one in the morning."

" _Exactly!_ We _never_ get to do this! It'll be fun!"

The Director shook his head disapprovingly and tossed his hands in the air, leaving the remaining three adults. Smiling at the table of teens before them, the Deputy Director sat down at an empty chair and slapped her hand on the table, looking back at the woman and man.

"And _this_ is my ace-in-the-hole!" Misato gestured to the teens. "Mana and Hikari here are helping plan this baby! They've been helping me find decorations in the storage closet, and are going to help spiff this place up Thursday after lunch!"

"About that: if the cafeteria is going to be set up for the dance, where are we supposed to eat dinner, Miss Katsuragi?" Hikari asked.

"We'll just have you eat in the lobby and your rooms!"

"And how are we going to collect all the plates and silverware?" the blonde woman asked.

"Ritsuko, we're making it up as we go. We'll just have a bin for it on each floor! Quit poking holes."

"Well, it seems you've got it all figured out, Misato," Ritsuko shrugged. "I'm just here for the show. So, lead them, o wise party planning deity of Kanagawa."

Misato stuck her tongue out at the woman before turning back to the table, "Girls, we found some leftover Christmas lights in the storage, so we can really make the place sparkle! We'll need our 'big, strong Toji' to help out for sure."

Toji turned bright red, embarrassed by the attention from the beautiful older woman, "Right, uh, I'm here to help!"

"Good!" she stood back up, "Let's meet tomorrow to discuss how we want to set things up. I will see you in the cafeteria at, say, 2:00?"

"No problem!" "Can do!"

"And then, I say we get started on decorating early so you girls have plenty of time to pretty yourselves up. Let's also do 2:00 on Thursday?"

Mana, Hikari, and Toji agreed, loudly volunteering the rest of the table, "Deal. We'll _all_ be there, won't we guys?"

There was slight grumbling among the volun-told, but everyone came on board, lacking any sufficient excuse to avoid helping considering their current locked-in predicament.

" _That's_ the spirit! Now, I need to find Aki: she's in charge of the playlist!" And the woman and her crew ventured further into the cafeteria.

The slight grumbling grew louder when the teens were left alone at the table.

"So, apparently we're _also_ helping out with the decorating?" Musashi asked, annoyed.

"Well, yeah, we could use your help," Mana smiled sweetly, cooing, "And anything to spend more time with _my Shinji_ …"

Asuka rolled her eyes at the girl, "He's all yours…"

"Plus, what else were you going to do? It's not like we can leave," Hikari questioned them.

"I guess so, I just wish you would've asked us first," Asuka said, turning her nose up at the group.

"Oh come on, Asuka, where's your holiday spirit? We're only going to be here a couple more days. And who knows if we'll all be here in March," Mana suggested.

The thought hadn't yet occurred to Shinji, that his time with Asuka was quickly running out. Unsure of how to trigger the strange visions and music, he didn't know what it would take to hurry their discoveries up, but another obstacle had seemingly just presented itself: the girl's attitude towards him and their time together.

Before dinner, Shinji could've easily accepted that there was a mutual attraction between each other, especially considering how she kissed him on the cheek earlier that day. But now she was acting distant, outwardly offended by the group's soft accusation that they were in any way a couple.

Shinji didn't realize how lost in thought he was until his best friend tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey, sleepyhead, are you awake?"

He looked up and saw most of the group had already left the cafeteria, with only Hikari and Asuka remaining behind, "Huh? Yeah. I think so."

Hikari started to invite Shinji to leave, until she noticed Asuka nervously glancing at Shinji, and smiled, whispering to the boy, "I'm going to let you two talk. I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"See you tomorrow morning," he confirmed, also realizing Asuka seemed as if she had something to say.

The redhead waited for a few moments for the brunette to leave before sitting back down next to Shinji, "Hey, I think we should pause our little project for tomorrow. Just to get everyone off of our backs."

Surprised and disheartened at her lack of urgency, all Shinji could do was nod. "If that's what you want, Asuka."

She waited, trying to find the right words, "I just- I don't really know what to make of it. And if we're off doing who-knows-what too often, they'll get suspicious. And we don't really know if we're actually looking at the end of the world, which would rightly freak everyone out."

Shinji sighed, about to give up, when he decided to change his tact. Knowing time was against them, he tried a more direct approach: "We're running out of time, Asuka. Whatever this is, I want to figure it out with you. I don't- I don't want to lose you."

These words had clearly taken the girl by surprise, as she sat with her mouth open for quite some time. Her expression eventually softened, "Ok. It looks like we've got two days left. So, how about tomorrow, after dinner? We'll hang with the group all day, help plan this ridiculous dance, and then get back to work later that night. That way we'll still have all of Thursday, too."

"I can do that," Shinji agreed. At least she wasn't completely avoiding him.

"Deal."

* * *

"That girl just drives me crazy," Asuka commented, settling down at the study desk in the library.

The last twenty-four hours had passed agonizingly slowly: what would usually have been considered an enjoyable day with friends turned to tedium as it increasingly felt like Shinji and Asuka were ignoring a dire warning about their future. The laughter sounded quieter, the food tasted blander, all weighed down by the heaviness of a potential apocalypse.

They'd found themselves mostly disinterested in the decoration planning, not only due to their initial reluctance to help with the dance, but also because Shinji was busy defending himself from an increasingly aggressive Mana, and a weirdly agitated Asuka. 

"Oh?" Shinji played ignorant, sitting at the table next to Asuka.

"I don't know why you can't just tell her to leave you alone."

He thought for a bit, unsure of how to broach the issue of their pseudo-relationship. Mana was nice, and Shinji didn't want to offend the girl by spurning her advances, but Asuka was being standoffish enough to make him wonder if there was any hope for anything between the two of them.

"I think she's just being nice, Asuka," he replied.

"Surely you can't be _that_ oblivious… She's been all over you all day."

Shinji grinned slyly, "She's too direct for me. I prefer someone that plays coy for a bit."

Asuka's eyes grew wide, her cheeks quickly flushing for a moment, before she quickly reached out and snatched the notebook from Shinji's hands, "So! Back to work on this... this thing."

Shinji knew he had her cornered, but didn't want to press too hard and allowed the subject to be changed, "Yeah. Have you figured anything out?"

"Not a thing. I have absolutely no idea what's going on."

He watched as the girl slowly pulled her arms out of her sweater, "Me neither. I don't like the idea that it's telling us to somehow stop the end of the world: that seems like a lot for two teenagers."

Now pulling the sweater over her head, Asuka agreed, "Yeah. On another subject, why did you pick the third floor?"

"I don't know, I thought it would be quiet enough for us to openly discuss this without anyone overhearing."

"Sure is. It's also insanely hot up here," she replied, fanning her face.

"Yeah," Shinji replied, also pulling off his sweater. "Why is it so hot?"

Asuka paused, staring at him, "What are you stupid?"

He paused, too, staring back with a blank expression.

"Heat rises, so all of the heat they're pumping into the library will settle up here," Asuka explained. "It's basic physics."

Shinji shrugged, science was never his strong suit: "I guess I am."

"Japanese education, what am I getting myself into?" Asuka sighed, standing up. "We need to find another table that's not directly underneath a vent: I think that's making it worse."

The two stood again, collecting their belongings, and set off, searching the third floor aimlessly for a table that wasn't located directly under a heating duct. After turning down five other tables in the same situation, they eventually found one tucked away in a corner and got to work.

At 9:30, an alarm Asuka had set on her cell phone chimed brightly, startling both her and Shinji. They had deen deep in conversation discussing the potential "Second Impact" and what its relation to the end of the world may be.

Still on edge, Asuka attempted to put herself back together when the library was suddenly plunged into darkness, capitalizing on the earlier fright and sending her upright as she leapt out of her chair.

"SHINJI, WAS ZUM TEUFEL?!"

Sitting not three feet away from the girl, it was surprising how hard it was to see her, "Asuka! Asuka, I'm right here!"

Shinji attempted to reach out and calm her down, but the girl slapped his hand away, "I know that, idiot. I was asking you what happened."

Ignoring yet another barb from the girl, he shrugged, the action unseen in the dark, "Looks like the power went out."

"Yeah, I figured that much," Asuka commented, turning on the flashlight on her phone. "So... there's a bit of a problem: I have no idea where the stairs are."

Following the beam of the light, Shinji realized he also had no orientation of their location in the library. Originally they were situated near the staircase, the first table was immediately to the right of the landing, but they had bounced around searching for one that wasn't uncomfortably hot. Now, he had no clue where they had started their search nor where the exit was.

"Verdammt nochmal!"

Guided by only the small amount of light emitted by her cell phone, Asuka attempted to lead Shinji out of the expansive library, "I know this isn't your fault, Shinji, but somehow this is entirely your fault."

The boy chuckled at this, having grown comfortable with the girl's strange personality, "Yes Asuka..."

He almost knocked her over, bouncing off of her stopped form as he fell backwards onto his bottom.

"You dolt!" she started, but immediately her mood shifted as she reached forward to help him up, "Uh, I meant to say 'I'm sorry.'"

Shinji took her hand and stood up, dusting himself off, bruskly remarking, "Sure you did."

Asuka punched him in the shoulder lightly, "Believe me or don't, it makes no difference to me."

"Well, why do you have to be so mean to me, sometimes?" Shinji asked. "Do you realize how confusing you are?"

Asuka turned her phone light directly towards Shinji's eyes, causing him to back away slightly and shield his face from the assault. As the beam illuminated his entire head, he couldn't see the girl's reaction until she loudly shouted, "Hallelujah!"

Shinji lowered his hand for a moment, again blasted in the eyes by the bright light, "Huh, ahh!"

Lowering her phone, Asuka pushed past the boy and stopped after a few steps, "I found the stairs!"

Happy to be making some form of progress out of the foreign building, Shinji turned and followed Asuka down the steps. _Well, I guess we're done talking about that,_ he thought.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be 'confusing'. Teenage girls are complicated..."

 _Or maybe not_.

"For some reason, sometimes... sometimes I find myself weirdly annoyed by you."

_Oh._

The two turned the corner on the second set of stairs, standing at the landing between the first and second floor. Asuka had stopped and was now staring off into the darkness, her phone shining down the steps towards the bottom floor.

"Look, Shinji," she turned and stepped close to him, their faces only barely lit up by the source below them. "I like you. I didn't intend on coming to Myojo to meet someone, or be doing _whatever_ this whole thing is with the music and visions and stuff."

"I like you, too, Asuka," is what Shinji wanted to say, but the girl continued to talk over him.

"I was dealing with some personal stuff before I came here, and between it and you and all of this... I... I'm sorry if I'm a bit all over the place. Emotionally."

Shinji smiled and offered his support, "It's ok. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Oh gott no," she almost blurted out. "It's all too fresh. I don't even know if I can escape it: if I don't get accepted here... I won't be able to avoid him at all."

"Your father?" Shinji asked. He was all too familiar with paternal issues.

But before she could answer, a loud voice barked up at them, "Students, identify yourselves!"

Both Shinji and Asuka were again frightened back to reality, turning to the bottom of the stairwell to see a figure standing, pointing a flashlight at them.

"Ikari Shinji and, uh, Langley Soryu Asuka Soryu, sir," Shinji answered back. He immediately felt a light elbow to his ribs.

"Brilliant."

"The power's gone out: all students have been asked to return to their dorm rooms immediately," the voice called, softening from the original harsh tone.

"We've been trying, sir, we got lost on the third floor," Shinji replied.

"The third floor, you didn't check the third floor?" another voice asked.

The first voice quickly apologized, "I didn't realize they were up there!"

"One job, Shigeru. You had one job!"

"Calm down, Maya, they're here now!"

Shinji and Asuka finished descending the stairs and stopped at the front desk of the library, in front of the two adults that were arguing with them.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, sir," Shinji apologized to both of them. "We'll get back to the dorm."

"It's ok, I'm just glad you're safe. But, bad news: the elevators aren't working," the woman identified as Maya commented.

"That's fine, I'm only on the fourth floor," he replied.

"Fine for you, maybe, but I'm on the twelfth!" Asuka loudly announced, clearly annoyed.

"Well then, miss, you'd better get started," Shigeru chuckled.

"Ich lach mich kaputt! Ich bin fuchsteufelswild!" the German grumbled as they exited the library and walked towards the stairwell. "Jetzt haben wir den Salat..."

Unaware of how to sooth the ranting foreign girl, Shinji simply decided to act on their previous conversation and try to calm her. As they entered the stairwell, he reached out and took her hand in his, gently intertwining their fingers. The action seemed to have the intended effect on Asuka, her rant quickly fading into nothing. Her fingers slowly tightening around his, a gentle squeeze from either of them being the strongest outward display of affection they were capable of at the time.

After several floors of gentle silence, hand-in-hand, Asuka stopped on the fourth floor landing. Shinji turned towards the next set of stairs while she stood at the Exit door.

"What are you doing?"

"I was going to walk you to your floor," Shinji explained. "It's still a long way up."

The proud redhead smirked, "I'm a big girl, Shinji. I appreciate the thought, but I can handle myself."

"Asuka-" he started, but was cut off again.

"Shinji, it's fine. I'll see you in the morning."

He stood for a moment, unsure of whether or not to ignore her, but ultimately decided he'd pressed his luck enough tonight. As he walked away from the girl their arms stretched between them, hands unwilling to let go, fearing the moment would never return. Eventually, though, the distance was too great, and both of their arms dropped clumsily to their sides.

Opening the door to his floor, he turned to take one last look at Asuka, who shot him a quick smile that he swore would light up the building on its own, "Good night, Asuka."

"Gute Nacht, Shinji."

Once again the fourteen year old boy found his heart fluttering, barely able to calm his shaking hands enough to swipe his keycard on the door. After a few clumsy passes, the door whirred slowly and a small light blinked yellow.

Shinji pushed the door handle down, but found it wouldn't budge, still locked. Another swipe of the keycard and another yellow light, but the handle remained locked.

_Great. I'm locked out._

Frustrated in more ways than one, Shinji briefly contemplated dashing up the stairs to meet Asuka. Taking the power outage as a sign that it was meant to be, Shinji smiled and turned back down the hallway towards the stairwell, only to be greeted by his floor's chaperone.

"What are you doing out, still?" the man asked.

"Oh, sorry, sir. I just got back from the library. I got lost and had to climb the stairs back up," Shinji explained, peering past the man. _If I just sprint past him, maybe I can make it in time!_

The man pushed his glasses up, sighing softly, "Nice job on the auxiliary buildings, Shigeru."

"Um, also, I can't get into my room?" the boy asked, giving up on his ill-informed plan to dash to Asuka.

"No?"

"It just blinks yellow when I swipe it," he explained, demonstrating it for the man.

"Oh, that means the battery's dead. And without power, it's completely offline."

"Great. I'm locked out," Shinji said again, except this time out loud.

"These locks aren't exactly the best," the chaperone explained. "Let me try something."

Moving around Shinji, the older gentleman jiggled the handle and pushed hard on the door, where it eventually gave way and swung open, giving access to Shinji's room.

"Good to know my stuff is so secure..." he muttered, thankful to finally be in his room.

Shinji thanked the man and closed the door behind him and looked into the cold, dark room. Out of habit he flipped the light switch on, but when nothing happened he chuckled, remembering the power outage. Then the only light source was the moon shining dimly through the window, mostly covered by clouds and falling snow. He checked his watch and walked toward the window, staring out at the world.

The clouded sky presented him with little moonlight, but it was still more than the rest of the dark room. After a few long minutes of thought and reflection, he headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

There was a gentle knock and Shinji went to answer it, toothbrush still in his mouth. Speaking muffled through the still closed door, "Who ish it?"

"It's me. I'm locked out."

Shinji blinked and opened the door, greeted by the sight of his redhead companion.

"Sorry, my keycard wouldn't work and my roommate's either not in or she's fast asleep," explained Asuka, hurriedly entering the room after peeking one last time into the dark hall.

"Yoursh too? It'sh no big deal," Shinji answered, slurping up a bit of the toothpaste and drool running out of his mouth. He reached up, feeling the forgotten toothbrush still held between his cheek and teeth, and darted back to the bathroom, spitting and rinsing. _Pull yourself together!_ he coached himself in the mirror.

Walking out of the bathroom, he noticed Asuka had made herself at home and sat on the other bed, rubbing her arms, "It's freezing in here."

Shinji chuckled, "Where's your jacket?"

Asuka nodded upwards and shrugged, "In the room that I can't get into. With _my_ toothbrush, and the rest of my stuff."

Not wanting his surprise roommate to freeze, Shinji stood up and took his parka off of the coat hook and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Here, I'm not using it."

Flustered by the boldness of the boy, Asuka pulled her shoulders up, hoping to hide her reddening cheeks in the fur of the collar. "Thank you," she quietly offered.

"Wait, how'd you get past the chaperone?" Shinji asked, sitting down on his bed, opposite Asuka.

"There wasn't one. Maybe he was in the bathroom, or maybe he left? It's almost midnight."

Shinji swung his legs under his blanket, "I didn't realize it was that late. Well, I don't know when the power's going to come back on; I'm going to try and get some sleep."

"Schlaf schön," said the redhead, laying down on her bed, pulling the parka tightly around her.

Shinji laid down and answered, "Good night, Asuka."

Shinji rolled onto his side, facing away from the girl, attempting to give her as much privacy as possible. He reached for his SDAT player, but decided against it on the off chance Asuka wanted to talk. But there would be no talking, and he quickly found himself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

A gentle bouncing of his mattress brought Shinji back from the land of dreams, as he felt a weight shift the springs underneath him.

He turned his head to the right and peered over his shoulder to see the back of a head of red hair. Groggily, he asked into the darkness, "As- Asuka?"

"S-s-s-so cold-d-d..." she shivered back. "J-just t-t-t-turn b-back around-d. Wi-w-will you let-t m-m-me l-lie here?"

Shinji was frozen in place, unsure of what to do next. The room was incredibly cold, and he certainly felt for the girl that was currently locked out of her room. But she was now in his bed, shivering uncontrollably, and there were no extra blankets.

"S-s-sorry Shin-j-j-j-i. I w-w-w-won't-t-t-t-t be a b-b-b-b-bother…" the girl continued to chatter through her teeth. "Th-th-this-s-s-s-s is al-r-r-r-read-d-dy bet-t-t-t-er..."

After a few moments of staring into the darkness, Shinji took a deep breath and rolled over, diving headfirst into the deep end, and put his arm around the shivering girl. As she started to protest, Shinji lifted his blankets and his parka, snuggling up close behind her, before laying them back on top of them, trying to preserve whatever warmth was left.

Whatever disagreements began to form out of the girl quickly faded as he could feel her body relaxing. Her temperature slowly came back up, and the two of them laid in silence in the room.

At least it appeared to be silent, until Shinji heard a faint sound coming from the SDAT player behind him. He craned his neck, trying to search for the source of the sound without disturbing their position, eventually realizing something had begun to play out of the earphones.

He turned back to the head of red hair, shaking her gently, and whispered in a hushed excitement, "Asuka, something's happening."

In a moment of bliss, Asuka turned her head to the left and smiled, "Yeah, it is..."

Cobalt eyes opened even wider: "What?"

And sapphire eyes blinked: "What?"

Both missing the moment, all eyes were temporarily blinded as the power was restored to the dormitory and all the lights in the room turned on at once.

"AHHH!" both of the teens shouted, the bright overhead lights searing into their eyes, causing Shinji to roll backwards off of the bed with a loud _THUD!_

"Mein gott, it's so bright!" the girl exclaimed, shielding her eyes. " _Why_ are your lights on?!"

Shinji slowly stood up, rubbing his sore shoulder, "I forgot to flip them off when I got in, I'm sorry!"

Yet another moment lost, Shinji watched as Asuka sat up in the bed, her shivering ceased. They could both feel the heat blowing into the room, ending the need for the impromptu cuddle session. The silence grew increasingly uncomfortable, neither again knowing how to make the first move.

"Well, uh, I guess I should probably get back to my room," Asuka eventually said, standing up and straightening her skirt.

"Oh, yeah, probably..."

Another awkward moment hung in the air, but it ended when Asuka started towards the door. In their pause, however, Shinji was suddenly reminded of what had just happened.

"Wait! Asuka!"

The girl turned back just before the door.

"Earlier, while we were, uh, together, I heard a new song!" Shinji rifled through the tangled blankets on the ground and pulled the SDAT player out. He thrust an earphone towards Asuka. "Here!"

They stood silently for a few moments, only faintly catching anything coming out of the tiny speaker:

 **We've been stuck now so long  
** **We just got the start wrong**

Asuka reached her hand out and pushed Shinji's back, declining the earphone, "It's late, Shinji, and if I get caught in here I can guarantee _neither_ of us will get accepted. Let's listen to it later."

Shinji nodded, understanding her position, and pressed STOP on the music player: "Ok. We'll listen tomorrow."

The girl yawned and stretched, "Don't listen to it without me. I mean it."

"I won't," he replied.

Peeking out into the hall, Asuka ducked back into the room, "Promise me."

"I promise."

"Mr. Keeps His Promises better not let me down."

Asuka worked quickly towards the elevators, looking back just before she entered. Shinji gave a small wave to which she replied with a smile, and she was gone.

* * *

Shinji exited the elevator, head still spinning from the events of the night before. Another romantic almost he'd chickened out of; another missed opportunity. However, before he could begin the self-flagellation, his eyes opened wide as he took in the scariest sight imaginable: Hikari and Asuka talking on a bench.

_Oh no..._

He slowly approached the two girls, knowing there was no hope in avoiding them. As he slunk up next to the bench, Hikari turned to him, hands on her hips with an accusatory frown strongly jutting out of her usually smiling face.

"And with that, I'm off," Asuka turned away from Shinji and Hikari and pulled her phone out, placing it against her ear as she walked off. "Hallo? Hallo Amy!"

"Uh- bye..." the boy meekly got out before slowly turning to face his still frowning friend. "Good morning, Hikari?"

"Yes, Shinji, it _is_ a good morning. But, for some reason, I'm much more interested in your good evening."

He gulped, putting on his best innocent face, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I caught Asuka coming back to her room at _midnight_ , Shinji. And she's already told me all about it," Hikari explained. "Your turn."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he repeated, unsure of who he was trying to convince with the words.

"Ikari Shinji, a late night with a girl?"

And his heart sunk, _Oh no..._

"Do I need to call Kodama for this one?" Hikari threatened, slowly pulling her phone out.

"Oh god, no!" Shinji shivered at the thought. Kodama already gave him enough trouble for his apparent lack of interest in girls: arming her with the knowledge of what happened last night would give the eldest sister enough ammunition for a lifetime. "I'll tell, I'll tell..."

"Good!" Hikari smiled and sat down on the bench, patting the open spot next to her. "Shinji, I'm here as your sister, not as your friend. I want to help you with your girl troubles."

' _Girl troubles', oh my god she really_ did _tell her everything_ , he grimaced. "So, uh, we were off working together in the library."

"Uh-huh."

"And the power went out."

"Yes, I know all this."

"And we were on the third floor."

"Of the library?"

"Yeah..."

"Alone."

"Yes, alone. And we were lost."

"Alone."

"Yes, Hikari, it was just the two of us!" he blurted out.

Hikari smirked, "The two of you were alone on the third floor of the library. And _then..._ "

 _Oh god, oh god, oh god,_ he panicked internally. Taking a deep breath, Shinji closed his eyes and got it over with: "And Asuka told me she liked me, and I wanted to tell her that I liked her, but then we got caught by some of the teachers and we had to go back to the dorm but the elevators were broken so we had to climb the stairs and I held her hand until we got to my floor and she wouldn't let me walk her to your floor, so I went to my room but she showed up because she was locked out of her room because the power was out and then she was cold so we slept together on my bed, I was just trying to keep her warm, but then the power came back on and she said she had to leave and I didn't want her to leave but she reminded me that we'd never be accepted to the Academy if we were caught and that's all that happened, I promise nothing else happened!"

Hikari sat silently on the bench next to Shinji, mouth agape, staring for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"So there's my 'girl troubles'."

Blinking slowly, Hikari was still speechless.

"I think I blew it. What did Asuka say?" Shinji asked.

The pig-tailed girl slowly closed her mouth, "So, Asuka just told me you were in the library late and that you'd fallen asleep at one of the desks, holding hands."

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Well why'd you call them 'girl troubles'?!"

"Shinji, she's a teenage girl, everything about us is 'trouble'," explained Hikari.

Shinji buried his head in his hands, "She's going to kill me."

"Oh-ho-ho no, not until I'm done with you. I won't even get into having Asuka _in your bed_ last night, but, traditionally, when a boy has a beautiful girl in his arms, you _think_ he'd try and kiss her!"

Said boy ducked down, trying to avoid the verbal knives being hurled his way by his best friend and confidant, "I know, I know, I'm sorry. I've never been in that situation before. Did I blow it?"

Hikari chuffed and rolled her eyes, "I think 'blowing it' is the understatement of the century, Shinji. You _quite literally_ had her in your arms and you let her slip away."

Shinji's posture collapsed, once again feeling as if he'd blown his chance. _How many people get a second second chance?_

"Fortunately, you have the best friend in the history of the world," Hikari bragged, putting her hands on her hips and thrusting her chin out, triumphantly. "And I'm going to try to talk to her."

"Please don't, Hikari. I really think she'd kill me if she found out how much I told you."

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, Shinji. And swearing it upon my honor that you're just clueless may be what she needs to hear."

"Am I really 'clueless'?" he asked, considering his options. "That doesn't make me look very good."

"It's either that or you're not interested," Hikari answered. "You decide."

"'Clueless' it is." The boy slowly perked up, a second wind hitting him, reinvigorating his soul.

"But there's a catch: your next big romantic gesture needs to be tonight: at the New Year's Eve Dance."

And the gust of air lifting his spirits ceased, again dropping him to the ground at terminal velocity, "I completely forgot about that."

"Us four girls are going to share outfit parts and see if we can whip something fashionable together out of what we have. You had better be on your best, _Ikari_. Don't mess this up. You can crush a girl forever, tonight."

Shinji weighed his options for a moment and agreed with the girl, this was his final chance to make things right. A feeling he'd carried since their chance encounter at the subway so many days ago: one last chance to start over.

"I'll do it."

* * *

Lunch was a lively affair, the group talking about their last day together and the upcoming dance: something to cap off what was supposed to be a brief overnight stay for an entrance exam that quickly ballooned into a multi-day lock-in.

As the cafeteria cleared out, the teens cleared out the tables and chairs, folding and putting half of them away in storage. While they worked, Mana started a lively conversation reflecting on their 2015s:

"2015 was a great year for me! Not only did I meet you all, but in the summer I spent two weeks in Paris and just had the best time! What about you Keita?"

The dark-haired girl thought for a moment, "This year was nice. I got to see my grandma for the first time in almost two years! She's just the best!"

"I also had a great year," Toji added, "I won the Osaka Regional 1-on-1 basketball tournament, and the 2-on-2 tournament with my man Kai! How about you, Shinji?"

The boy stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes and internally reflecting on the previous year. The memories were mostly fuzzy, lacking most discernible detail. All except a select few: a hospital. A cemetary. Crying. Arguing. Sadness. Anger. Emptiness.

"Uhh, this year was actually pretty awful... I lost..." he began to choke up, until Hikari quickly came to his side, rubbing his back comfortingly.

"Let's just say we're looking forward to next year and all of us being back here in March!" she saved him.

"Yeah! I'm sure next year will be better for all of us," Toji smiled.

Mana turned to Asuka, "What about your 2015?"

Said girl stood still, clearly deep in thought, balling her fists at her side, "I don't want to talk about it."

Instead of pressing any more, the group worked in silence for a few minutes, letting Shinji and Asuka regroup.

While Hikari and Mana started rolling out the Christmas lights for hanging, Shinji found a moment to catch Asuka by herself, across the room.

"Hey, Asuka, are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm just fine," answered Asuka curtly. She angled away from him slightly. "I really don't want to talk about this year..."

Shinji stepped in front of her again, trying to get the girl to open up to him physically, but she continued to shift away, "I want to talk about last night."

This stopped Asuka in her tracks, who glanced over her shoulder at the boy, "I _definitely_ don't want to talk about that."

"Asuka, I told Hikari-"

She quickly turned back to Shinji and moved in close, hissing through her teeth, "You _told_ her what?!"

"Oops."

"Shinji, I might kill you."

"Asuka, she's my best friend and she wants to help us."

"'Us'?" she hissed again.

Shinji backed off a bit, raising his hands in surrender, "Ok, not 'us'. There's no 'us'. Sorry."

"No, it's... ugh. What did you tell her?"

"Everything. I'm sorry..." he whispered, barely audible.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Everything."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Asuka roared, loud enough to draw the attention of the entire room.

"Uh oh, the newlyweds are fighting!" Toji called across the room, breaking the tension almost immediately. The room erupted in laughter, at the quarreling couples' expense.

Both Shinji and Asuka's faces turned bright red, as they answered simultaneously, "Oh shut up!"

The two looked at each, still in perfect sync, and blushed deeper. Not only were their reactions identical, but everything down to the cadence of their words lined up perfectly, which was an incredibly strange sensation for the teens as they had no explanation for it.

After a moment, Shinji turned back to Asuka, "Well, we should get back to work. But after, where do you want to meet up?"

"'Meet up'? For what?" Asuka asked, irritated.

"We have a new song. From last night."

"Oh, that. Yeah..."

"I promised to wait for you. And I did."

"Alright, alright. How about at dinner, since we'll be eating in our dorms?" she suggested quietly as they walked back to the group, still hanging lights.

"Won't you need time to get ready for the dance?" Shinji asked.

"Do you think I need three hours to get ready?"

"I don't know, I'm not a girl!"

With that the conversation was over, and the two grabbed a strand of lights and got to work. As Shinji slowly unrolled the lights, Asuka, at her insistence, climbed the ladder and affixed them to the ceiling. Several times she would overextend herself, stretching farther than safe on the ladder, but she ignored every one of Shinji's protests.

"Asuka, are you being safe up there?" the Deputy Director called across the cafeteria. "I don't want to cancel the dance because someone broke their neck decorating for it!"

"Haw haw haw," the girl faked a laugh. "I'm plenty capable of doing things on my own!"

Shinji, steadying the ladder below, called across to the adults, "I can trade her if you'd like, Miss Katsuragi."

But Asuka shot that down quickly from above him, "I've just about had it with boys telling me what I can and can't do! Between you, my father, and- just, urghh!" she growled at the end.

"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help!"

"If you want to help, hold the ladder steady! I'm almost done, I just need to reach... a little... more..."

"Asuka, come down and I'll move the ladder, that's not safe!"

The defiant girl ignored him and continued to stretch, extending her opposite leg for balance, trying to staple up the end of the strand of lights.

"Don't... you... tell... me... what... to... do!" she yelled, as she clumsily turned the stapler around to secure the decorations.

"My goodness, you _do_ sound like an old married couple!" Misato called back to the duo.

Shinji's ponytailed test proctor began to chime in, too, "Did I miss the ceremony? Tsk. A real shame."

Shock and frustration caught both Asuka and Shinji at the worst possible moment, as the overextended girl lost her balance and began tipping the ladder beyond his control. Once Shinji realized it was too far gone, he immediately let go of it and dashed towards where the top was landing.

"Shinji!" the girl called as the ladder tipped over.

"Asuka!" the boy called back, catching her off the ladder, spinning and knocking him to the ground.

There were several worried shrieks from across the room, where others were quickly running to their side to check the status of the two.

They laid on the ground, Asuka awkwardly on top of Shinji, his arms wrapped around her in a protective embrace. She slowly pushed herself up, her eyes catching his for a moment, until she noticed they were about to be surrounded.

"Oh my gosh Asuka, are you okay?!" Keita asked, the first to arrive.

The girl, still straddling the Shinji's lap, rubbed her head and patted her body, checking for injury, "I, I think I'm okay. The invincible Shinji, here, caught me."

"Man, you two work awfully quick," the older man commented, giving a quick smirk.

Asuka looked down at their positioning again, blushed, and quickly stood up, backing away, "That's not- it's not-"

"Oh, knock if off, Kaji," Misato scolded the man, bending over to tend to Shinji. "How's the little hero?"

Shinji slowly sat up, also inspecting his body for injury, "I'm okay. My butt hurts. I'm just glad I could catch Asuka."

"I'd like the both of you to get checked out by Dr. Akagi, though," she said as she helped him up. "Even if you think you're okay, just to be safe. We're just about done in here anyway."

Said doctor interjected, "I'm not a nurse, Misato."

She shrugged, slowly pulling Shinji to his feet, "You're the closest thing to a nurse we have here, Rits."

"Sure, dual doctorates in metaphysical and evolutionary biology, and a masters in ecology make me the perfect candidate to patch boo-boos," the blonde woman grumbled.

"That's the spirit! Oh, I thank you, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi: it's good to have a friend you can count on!"

The doctor shot Misato a glare and then turned to exit the cafeteria, "Follow me, children."

As the three silently entered the lobby, Shinji spoke up, "Umm, Dr. Akagi. I'm really feeling fine. I don't think you need to go to any extra trouble for me."

"Same here," Asuka added, not wanting to be poked and prodded for no reason.

The blonde doctor turned, "I'm mostly worried about a concussion. Did you hit your heads? On the floor or each other?"

"No ma'am." "Nein."

She looked at the teens closely, watching their eyes for a bit, "Well, if you say so. I'm not _that_ kind of doctor any way, so I don't really know what I'd be looking for."

"Headache, confusion, lack of coordination, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, ringing in the ears, sleepiness, excessive fatigue," Asuka rattled off nonchalantly, waving her hand.

Ritsuko paused for a moment, "You're that 'Langley' girl, aren't you?"

"That's me."

"Well, I guess you'd be more of an expert on this than I. So, if you think you're ok, then I'll head off."

Shinji watched as the doctor left, turning back to Asuka, "Wow. Your family name garners a lot of respect."

The girl sighed, her shoulders dropping for a moment, "More like 'a lot of attention'. Or 'a lot of expectations'..."

"I'm sorry, I can relate, but only on a small-town scale. No one's heard of the Ikari's outside of Yamanashi," Shinji tried to comfort her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Do you want to go back to the cafeteria?"

Asuka shook her head softly, "No, they're just about done. Let's head up to your room: I want to hear that new song."

The two walked back to the elevator banks, getting a lift to themselves up to the fourth floor. Shinji took a deep breath as the doors first closed and reached out to take Asuka's hand, where she reluctantly let him hold it.

Sensing her trepidation, he spoke up, "If you don't want to, you don't have to."

She turned back to him, shutting down that line of thought, "No, I do, I'm sorry. I just... I haven't held anyone's hand in... in a while. It just reminded me of someone for a second."

Shinji almost asked about it, but decided against it: he wasn't exactly interested in hearing about ex-boyfriends, or crushes, or whatever you'd call the two of them. He wanted to focus on what he had, not dwell on the past.

As they approached his door, Shinji swiped his room key only for it to whirr and blink yellow again.

"Oh great, it's still not working."

"We can go to my room," Asuka offered.

"No, the SDAT's still in there. Hang on," Shinji declined, pushing the handle and forcing the door open. "I learned to do this the other night."

Asuka's eyes were wide in shock, "Well _that's_ the scariest thing I've seen here. I hope the girl's doors are more secure than that."

All Shinji could do was shrug and agree, entering the room and grabbing his SDAT player off of his bed. He placed the earphone in and handed Asuka the other one, "Well, here we go."

And he pressed PLAY, only to be greeted by the middle of the song.

"Hey, I thought you said you didn't listen to it!" Asuka ribbed him.

"I didn't, I promise! Remember, it was on last night!" he defended, blushing slightly at the reference to their awkward midnight encounter.

"Ok, ok. Just start it over."

Shinji rewound the tape until it displayed "04" on the faded LCD, and pressed PLAY again:

 **Testing, testing, I'm just suggesting  
** **You and I might not be the best thing  
** **Exit, exit, somehow I guessed it right, right  
** **But I still want you, want you, don't mean to taunt you  
** **If you leave now I'll come back and haunt you  
** **You'll remember, return to sender now, now**

Shinji listened to the song, watching Asuka slowly nod her head in time with the music, eyes closed.

 _She's so beautiful…_ he thought.

 **Well, I just wish we could go back one more time and begin it  
** **Back before I lost myself somewhere, somewhere in it**

 **I've been stuck now so long  
** **We just got the start wrong  
** **One more last try  
** **I'ma get the ending right  
** **You can't stop this  
** **And I must insist that  
** **You haven't had enough  
** **You haven't had enough**

As the chorus progressed, he found himself tapping his foot to the driving beat, entranced by the music and the increasingly lively Asuka sitting next to him.

 **Stuck now so long  
** **We just got the start wrong  
** **No more last place  
** **You better get your story straight  
** **You can't stop this  
** **And I must insist that  
** **You haven't had enough  
** **You haven't had enough**

 **I still need you, need you, don't mean to tease you  
** **If you want me, I'll come back and meet you  
** **Whisper, whisper, you must admit you want it  
** **You, you want it**

 **Well, I just wish we could go back one more time and begin it  
** **Back before I lost myself somewhere, somewhere in it**

Back into the chorus again, Shinji watched as the girl's upper body wiggled and grooved more, her eyes still closed. He wanted so badly to continue to be a part of this, of her, especially as her mesmerizing dance continued.

 **We've been stuck now so long  
** **We just got the start wrong  
** **One more last try  
** **I'ma get the ending right  
** **You can't stop this  
** **And I must insist that  
** **You haven't had enough  
** **You haven't had enough**

 **Stuck now so long  
** **We just got the start wrong  
** **No more last place  
** **You better get your story straight  
** **You can't stop this  
** **And I must insist that  
** **You haven't had enough  
** **You haven't had enough**

By the end of the second chorus, Asuka's dance had taken control, bringing her to her feet and pulling Shinji by the hand upwards. Still held close together by the earphone cable, Shinji stood uncomfortably still as the girl danced in front of him.

 **Don't you need it? Don't you want this at all?  
** **Testing, testing, I'm just suggesting  
** **Don't you need it? Don't you want this at all?  
** **Testing, testing, I'm just suggesting  
** **Hey!**

As the beat dropped out of the song, so, too, did Asuka's dancing slow. She stood close to Shinji, her shining eyes locked with his.

 **Stuck now so long  
** **We just got the start wrong  
** **One more last try  
** **I'ma get the ending**

The music continued as they watched each other, and when the drums returned the groove once again overtook Asuka. But her eyes never left Shinji's, and his eyes never left hers.

 **You can't stop this  
** **And I must insist that  
** **You haven't had enough  
** **You haven't had enough**

 **Stuck now so long  
** **We just got the start wrong  
** **No more last place  
** **You better get your story straight  
** **You can't stop this  
** **Don't you need it?  
** **And I must insist that  
** **You haven't had enough  
** **Don't you want this at all?  
** **You haven't had enough**

"It's actually a fun song. You can dance, too, you know," Asuka suggested over the music.

Shinji nervously shrugged, "I, uh, I don't really know how to dance."

 **Testing, testing, I'm just suggesting  
** **You and I might just be the best thing**

The song ended and he pressed the STOP button, continuing, "I've never really done anything like this."

Asuka put her hands on her hips, "Well, that _just won't_ work. Not for tonight. Not if I'm going to be seen with you."

"I'm sorry. I think I'm better at playing music than dancing to it."

"How about this: let's go through this song a few times and write the lyrics down, and then I'll teach you the basics of dance so you don't embarrass me later," she offered, putting her hand out.

"I don't know how much you can help me with my dancing, but deal," Shinji shook it.

The two sat down on the bed, where Shinji pulled his notebook out and turned to a new page. Once things were settled, he rewound the SDAT again to the beginning of the song. But before he could start it, Asuka stopped him.

"By the way, did you _see_ or _feel_ anything last night? When the song was triggered?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, in the cafeteria, when we felt it get hot; or in the library when we saw the classroom."

Shinji stopped and thought for a bit, unable to remember anything other than the sheer bliss of holding the girl in his arms for a bit, "No. I don't remember a thing."

Asuka sighed, "Me neither. I wonder why… Wie auch immer, let's do the new song."

Shinji started up the new track again, diligently writing down the lyrics as they passed, watching as Asuka was again enveloped in the pounding rhythms of the music.

"Man, something about this just makes me want to dance. It's very addicting," she explained. "But, let's dive into these lyrics. I saw something that caught my eye."

"Me too," Shinji responded, his pencil searching the page for the line that resonated the most with him. "Here it is: 'well, I just wish we could go back one more time and begin it'."

"That's the one," Asuka agreed, wrinkling her nose in thought. "So, the world is on fire and we're going back in time to fix it?"

"Look at the next line, too: 'back before I lost myself somewhere, somewhere in it'. Who got lost and in what?"

"It kinda reads like a warning about, uh, a relationship. It literally starts: 'You and I might not be the best thing'. You don't think that's about-"

Shinji interrupted her thought, "But it ends, 'You and I might just be the best thing'. So, something got figured out? Like, the world is ending and we're going back?"

"To fix our relationship? Sounds like our priorities are a little off," Asuka chortled until she caught her inference and quickly corrected, "or _whoever_ this is all about."

"You don't think it's us?"

"Shinji, I honestly don't know what to think. So far, we're the only people that can hear this or see or feel this, but that doesn't mean it _is_ us. You know?"

Shinji didn't know either, but he didn't want to write it off; there was too much coincidence for it to be nothing, "I don't know, either. This is all too weird."

"Agreed. So, let's take a break!" Asuka offered.

"Yeah, that sounds good. What did you have in mind?"

"I'm gonna to teach you how to dance."

Suddenly a break from their music sounded like the worse alternative; dancing, especially with someone like Asuka, seemed much more intimidating than mysterious music about the end of the world. "Uhhh..."

"Oh, sei leise! Get up here!"

Shinji slowly stood up, meeting his partner between the two beds who reached to the bed for the SDAT. She pushed an earphone into her ear, offering the other to him.

"We're gonna work with this song, because it's fun and the right tempo. The trick is to just feel the beat and kinda move with it."

"This is ridiculous..." Shinji sighed, putting the other earphone in. Normally he wouldn't consider something like this, but Asuka's energy was infectious.

After almost two hours of awkward movements and jerky motions, a knock on the door interrupted the dance lessons. Removing the earphone, Asuka instructed him to keep dancing, "I'll get the door, you still need to practice."

Shinji shrugged, cranking the music up, closing his eyes and trying to feel the beat as his instructor had suggested.

"Hey Asuka, Shinji, I just wanted to check in and drop off your d-oh my goodness what is going on here?"

Hearing his best friend's voice, Shinji immediately stopped dancing and turned white, yanking the earphone out, "Nothing Hikari!"

"This looks like a whole lot more than 'nothing', Shinji! In all my years, I've _never_ seen you dance before!" the brunette exclaimed, entering the room and setting the food on the desks.

Embarrassed, Shinji plopped down on the bed.

"Your boy's actually not entirely helpless, he's gotten better. But he still needs some work," Asuka explained the situation.

"Shinji, I can _not_ believe you're dancing, but I am here to help!"

"No, please, Hikari..." he pleaded.

"I think I've done all that I can for you. I'm going to let Hikari take over and go eat in my room," Asuka said, grabbing her things and heading towards the door. "Pick me up at my room at 8:45. Room 1205."

Shinji's eyes begged the girl to stay and ease some of the awkwardness, but the redhead either missed it or ignored it and left.

"Shinji, I mean it, I want to help you. I can tell how much you like her, and I think it's sweet," Hikari smiled. "Do you want to show me what you've worked on?"

"Hikari, I really appreciate it, but I feel ok now. I'm not a professional, but I think it's good enough to get through tonight," Shinji explained, walking towards the door to shoo the girl off. But instead she dropped a bomb on him that left him frozen in his tracks.

"Yeah, sure. But can you slow dance?"

* * *

By 9:10, Shinji was nervously pacing back and forth in front of room 1205, worried he'd had the wrong room, or the wrong floor, or even that Asuka was going to stand him up for one reason or another. Contemplating knocking for a fourth time, Shinji almost jumped for joy when the door finally opened at 9:20.

Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, Asuka slowly exited the room wearing a flared blue skirt and long-sleeved white top. Her hair, usually pulled half-up, was left down, flowing to the middle of her back.

"I'm assuming you know nothing about dating a teenage girl, but making boys wait is half the fun," Asuka smiled, sticking her tongue out at the slack-jawed boy.

"Asuka, you, you look beautiful," was all Shinji could get out. "Just... wow."

"Danke, Shinji. The skirt is Keita's and I think I might keep it!" she giggled. "Now, enough waiting, let's get down to the dance."

Still taking in the sight, Shinji was frozen in place as the girl walked towards the elevators.

"Come on, we're already running late!"

The comment snapped Shinji back to reality, where he quickly walked up beside her, "You know, that's not my fault."

The redhead chuckled, "You'll learn this, one day, but being late is _never_ a lady's fault."

As they stopped at the elevator banks, Shinji slipped his hand into Asuka's, waiting for the lift to take them down to the last dance of the year, "Yes, Asuka..."

The elevator arrived at the bottom floor with a soft _Ding!_ , signaling the beginning of the evening. While only the beginning of the dance for most of the attendees, it represented much more for Shinji: it was his last chance to make things right with Asuka, to show her how he felt about her.

Entering the cafeteria, the two could barely recognize the room. The lights were dimmed significantly, the Christmas lights they'd hung earlier in the day helped create an enchanting atmosphere, bringing a soft illumination to the entire room. With the windows wide open, bright moonlight spilled, completing the ambiance and giving a clear view of the Tokyo night sky.

The makeshift DJ booth, a table with tablecloth where a student had a laptop plugged into the PA system, was fully lit with a spotlight. Blinking and rotating colored lights adorned the rest of the dance floor, bringing much needed energy, as most of it remained empty for the better part of the early evening.

Shinji and Asuka, still joined at the hand, found Hikari and Toji standing and talking near the dance floor. They walked up to the other couple, speaking loudly over the music.

"Hikari, you look incredible this evening! That is just the cutest blouse!" Asuka gushed, turning it up to eleven.

"Why thank you, Asuka! It _is_ just the cutest" answered Hikari, equally vibrant.

"Yeah, I gotta say, it's pretty nice! Her whole outfit looks great," Toji complimented.

Asuka's mood flattened slightly as she stood on her toes and pulled Toji's ear down slightly, "Listen, monkey-boy, that white blouse is one of my absolute favorites. Spill anything on it, and I'll make a new one out of your skin."

Eyes wide in shock, Toji remained motionless until his date broke the silence, "She's kidding, Toji. I mean, it _is_ her blouse, but you'll be fine. Why don't you and Shinji go and get us some punch?"

"I think I'll settle for water..." was all he could squeak out as he turned away, walking with Shinji to the drink table. "That Asuka: you sure you can handle her?"

Shinji chuckled and answered as honestly as he could, "Not a clue."

The two eventually returned with drinks, now joined by Mana, Keita, and Musashi. The four girls were busy taking pictures of each on their cell phones, posing and smiling brightly. Unable to give either girl their drinks, Shinji and Toji set the spares down on a nearby table and walked over to Musashi. However, before they were able to laugh about the silly display, the three were invited to participate in the pictures.

"Boys, get over here! You can't hide from us all night!" Keita called.

The group awkwardly squished together for a large group photo, Mana's long outstretched arm trying to manipulate the camera as best as possible while still including everyone in the shot. Luckily, after a few blurry attempts, one of the Myojo staff offered to take the picture for them.

"Okay, everyone: smile!" the short-haired brunette Shinji recognized as Maya called out as everyone struck a pose.

After a few flashes, the phone was returned to Mana. Hikari immediately requested a couples' picture with Toji, to which Mana obliged. Next came Keita and Musashi, leaving just Shinji and Asuka standing together. But before the last couple could pose for the photographer, the bespectacled boy from a few days prior backed into her.

"Ow!" Mana cried, falling forward and dropping her phone. "Ah, my phone!"

He also stumbled a bit, turning and lowering a video camera from his eye, "I'm sorry! I didn't see you there!"

Mana picked her phone up and pocketed it, smiling at the boy, "It's okay, accidents happen! By the way, what are you recording?"

Turning the camera back on, Kensuke introduced himself and explained that he'd been documenting the entire week, part of a video explaining the difference between country and big city education, as well as the rigors of applying to an elite school such as Myojo Academy.

"I'm a big film buff, so I want to submit it to some amateur festivals!" he cheerily answered.

"That sounds really cool, man," Toji replied with a big thumbs up. "Let me know when it's done, I definitely want to see it!"

"Will do! Welp, back to the dance! I'll see you around!" And the journeyman filmmaker turned and left, pointing his camera all over the room.

"Alright then, I think it's time to hit the dance floor! Who's with me?" Mana turned and surveyed the group. The three remaining girls excitedly agreed, leaving the three boys to slowly back away, shying away from the chance.

Ignoring their pleas, however, the three were slowly dragged to the empty dance floor in the middle of the cafeteria.

" _Someone_ needs to get this party started!" Mana shouted loudly, beginning to dance with Hikari and Keita.

Asuka headed towards the girls, turning her head back, "Just remember the moves, Shinji. Full power, maximum performance."

"I know that. We'll be finished in sixty-two seconds," he quipped back.

"What? I spent almost two hours teaching you to dance, I'd _better_ get more than a minute out of you."

She'd thrown the gauntlet down, challenging not only the boy's will and determination, but also his feelings for her. And he was going to give it everything he had: Shinji knew he'd blown every shot before now, and he wasn't about to let Asuka get away. Not tonight.

Slowly, Shinji found the confidence in himself to comfortably dance with the group. Letting himself go and just feeling the rhythms in him, he moved enough to have an enjoyable time not only with his date, but also with his best friend and the new friends he'd made over the strange week they'd been trapped there.

Later, Shinji and Asuka found themselves sitting at a table near the dance floor when the first slow song came on, taking a short pause to get a drink and catch their breath. As the colored lights turned a dark shade of red, Shinji stood up, watching the dance floor.

He turned to Asuka before she stood, his eyes soft, "Hey, I want to dance with you. But..." he glanced at Hikari who stood alone on the dance floor, "she's my best friend, and we've been through a lot this year."

Asuka nodded in understanding, "It's ok. I have to go to the ladies' room."

She grabbed Keita and left for the restrooms, while Shinji headed to the dance floor to meet Hikari.

The brunette was incredibly surprised when Shinji softly asked for a dance with her, quietly asking as they swayed slowly, "Shouldn't you be dancing with Asuka?"

"She had to go to the restroom, and, especially after this year, I felt like I owed you the first dance."

Hikari's expression softened, and she rested her head against Shinji's chest, "Now you're going to make me cry."

2015 was incredibly trying for the Ikari family, which unfortunately spilled over onto the Horaki family more than anyone had wished. They'd often helped with cooking, cleaning, or sometimes just being a shoulder to cry on as things seemingly spiraled out of control. Shinji's father's sudden disappearance after the funeral only made things harder for them all, as they were all left with a huge hole in their hearts as well as a confused anger towards the man.

"She'd be proud of you, Shinji. And I think she would like Asuka."

There was a sudden rumbling between them as Shinji chuckled quietly, shaking Hikari's head against his chest, "Hahaha, no, I don't think she would quite approve."

"Maybe. Either way, you deserve to be happy, Shinji. And if Asuka makes you happy, then I'm behind you all the way."

"Thanks, Hikari. You're the best."

They continued to dance together, chatting about their lives and futures, focusing on how strange returning to Otsuki after almost an entire week trapped in Tokyo will be. They'd even discussed their plans for Myojo, never even considering that they wouldn't both be accepted to the Academy. They felt it was simply destined that they be together, as near twin siblings should.

The night continued late into the evening, full of dancing and laughter, revelry and memories. The second slow dance came close to midnight, and Shinji nervously placed his hands on Asuka's waist, looking into her eyes.

The instantly recognized song started slowly, and he knew this was his time to shine. The familiarity allowed him to take a deep, confident breath and dip the redhead at the right moment after the second verse.

Pulling her back up to him, Shinji's moves became more deliberate, as he rocked and swayed the girl, softly singing along with the song.

"How do you know Sinatra?"

He smiled, recalling happier memories, "It was my mom's favorite song. We used to listen and dance to it all the time. It's on my SDAT- well, it _was_ on there."

"I'm sorry it's not on there, Shinji," Asuka offered softly.

"It's ok. It's actually pretty bittersweet; I haven't been able to listen to it for a while..." he trailed off, watching the slowly rotating blue lights shine on the floor.

The two continued to dance slowly, both softly singing the words, not to each other, not yet, but out loud, in case the other wanted to hear them.

"This is a bit old school for this dance, don't you think? I mean, it's a classic, but, still," Asuka commented.

Shinji nodded his head towards the back corner, where Director Fuyutsuki was proudly twirling and dancing Dr. Akagi, both of them laughing with the rest of the teachers, "I'm guessing this was _his_ pick."

Asuka caught a glimpse of the adults and smiled as the song came to an end, changing the subject, "Hey, it's almost midnight..."

"It is. I've been looking forward to it all day," Shinji responded.

Asuka blushed, pulling back and turning away slightly before mumbling, "Idiot..."

The music had ended for the final time that year, hundreds of teenagers and adults all stood in the cafeteria, watching as the Deputy Director picked up the microphone.

"Everyone, I want to thank you all for your patience and understanding during this week. I know it's been strange and difficult, so I'm glad we at Myojo Academy were able to put something special together: not just as a way to end the year and celebrate the new, but also as a thank you for putting up with all of this," the woman explained.

"As we count down the end of 2015, please know that, on behalf of myself, Director Fuyutsuki, and all of Myojo Academy, we thank you for everything and wish you the best New Year. The cafeteria will be closing at 12:30 and all students are expected to be in their dorms no later than 1:00 am. We will be doing room checks, too, to make sure everyone is in their appropriate rooms!"

There was much sniggering and laughter at the last comment, until Misato loudly interrupted it, "Well, here we go everyone! Ten!"

As the crowd counted down, Shinji looked around at his friends and smiled.

"Nine!"

What a wonderful way to end the year.

"Eight!"

He then looked over at the beautiful red-headed German girl standing next to him.

"Seven!"

What a perfect way to start anew.

"Six!"

Surrounded by his friends, Shinji briefly considered this would likely be the last time all of them were together.

"Five!"

But he banished the thought, believing they'd all be accepted and returning in March.

"Four!"

He and the rest of the cafeteria loudly finished out the rest of the count, excited to end 2015 and move towards the future.

"THREE. TWO. ONE!"

He took a deep breath.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The room erupted and Shinji felt two hands grab his face, pulling him in for a kiss. Expecting to make the first move, it took him by surprise, leaving him unable to close his eyes and enjoy the moment. Which was a good thing considering his eyes had locked onto a pair of blue eyes during the kiss.

Because those eyes were still standing on Shinji's right, and the lips currently connected to his belonged to someone else entirely.

Shinji quickly stepped back, breaking the kiss and wiping his mouth, entirely surprised to see Mana beaming in front of him.

"Oh my gosh, I've always wanted to do that!"

Unable to say a word, Shinji could only stare at the girl, unsure of what level of fury was appropriate for the moment. But the fury had to be put aside as Asuka stormed off, forcing her way through the crowd, leaving the cafeteria.

"Mana, what the hell?!" Keita demanded, the first to scold the girl. "Shinji was obviously here with Asuka!"

"That's so not cool," Toji chimed in.

Mana, usually so full of life and laughter, was taken aback, entirely unaware of how her kiss was perceived, "I- I didn't know they were together! I was just messing around!"

This time it was Musashi that joined in, "How could you not tell? They've basically been married for the last few days!"

"I thought the arguing and fighting was, you know, like, arguing and fighting!" Mana defended.

It was true, without fully understanding the relationship between Shinji and Asuka, it would appear as if they could barely tolerate each other. It seemed most of the friend group saw through the façade, though.

While the group continued to chastise the girl, Shinji found himself unable to add anything meaningful. _I blew it again..._

However, Hikari had no qualms about it: the night wasn't over yet. "Ugh! Shinji _go!_ "

"Huh?"

"Go apologize! You made her cry, you jerk! Go find her and tell her you're sorry!"

Determined to salvage the evening, Shinji sprinted out of the room, straight towards the bank of elevators. _I'm coming, Asuka!_

* * *

Song: "Haven't Had Enough" by Marianas Trench


	5. Open Up My Eager Eyes

Fireworks illuminated the school from the Tokyo sky, flooding the windows with all the colors of the rainbow, but Shinji could only see red. A passionate red. An intense red. An exciting red. The red of his desire.

Red like Asuka.

That red drove him through the Myojo Academy lobby as his mind screamed internally: _It’s not too late! It can’t be too late! I won’t let it be too late!!!_

He slapped the elevator call button, relieved when a lift opened immediately. Impatiently waiting for his chosen floor, Shinji repeatedly mashed the “12” button, praying it would have some effect on the speed. Fortunately, the rest of the students were still in the cafeteria, preventing any unnecessary stops or hold-ups.

As soon as the doors opened, Shinji sprinted down the hall, counting rooms: “1201… 1203… 1205!”

He skidded to a halt, panting and winded; the anxious rest on the elevator affording him no real recovery. Standing up and taking a deep breath, Shinji knocked on the door, attempting to slow his heart, knowing the sight of the girl would only send it to the moon again.

Unable to wait, he knocked again, growing more and more concerned with each passing second. _Please, Asuka..._

After what seemed like an eternity, Shinji knocked a third time, gently speaking through the door: “Asuka… that wasn’t me. Mana kissed me. I swear. Please, can we just talk?”

Silence. The most deafening sound in the universe at that moment. ‘ _No!_ ’ or ‘ _Go away!_ ’ or ‘ _I hate you!_ ’ would be more useful, but the pure silence was agonizing, feeding into Shinji’s fears and insecurities.

“I promise! Asuka, this is me promising! ‘Mr. Keeps His Promises’, remember? I was going to-” he paused, slumping forward, his forehead hitting the door. “I was going to kiss you… I promise. I wanted to… kiss you…”

The door remained unmoved, unswayed by his words. It stared back at him, a monolith designed only to impede his path, cold and uncaring. The inch and a half of solid wood may as well have been an entire mountain, impenetrable despite Shinji’s will.

He knocked one final time, pleading through the door with his entire soul. But the door remained, now physically stained by Shinji’s tears, but undeterred in its stoic duty. 

As the silence continued, the desperate boy considered attempting to forcibly open the door as he’d done his, but Shinji was broken. The moment was lost, the night ruined; if Asuka truly were to give him a chance, she would’ve opened up by now. Instead, nothing remained. His hope was dashed, unsalvageable. It was over.

The short walk back to the elevators felt like a death march, Shinji’s feet growing heavier with every step. By the time he had exited on his own floor, the defeated body could barely lift them, instead dragging its shoes along the ground. The carpeted hall was streaked with twin lines leading from the lifts to room 402.

He reached for the handle, but his hand, too, felt as if it was weighed down. His every limb was made of concrete, and Shinji wasn’t strong enough. In his mind, the threshold of his room represented a final barrier, crossing it spelled doom: there was no more trying after this. That barrier terrified him, and Shinji was unable to bring himself to pass through it.

Exhausted, physically and emotionally, he turned his back to his door and sat against it, tears streaming down his face, but the tears dried almost immediately as the sadness turned to surprise.

The door had swung open, offering no support to him, and Shinji had instead fallen completely backward, lying on the ground staring up at the same unfamiliar ceiling. He had crossed the threshold, but not of his own volition.

Shinji stood up, curiously peering at the door that was sure shut when he left earlier that evening. After inspecting the handle and latch, he shrugged and closed it, almost leaping out of his skin when he turned back to the room and saw red.

Red like Asuka.

There she stood, staring at him with those burning blue eyes. Silent and motionless, like the door in the hall far above them, but infinitely more beautiful. 

“Asuka! I- I’ve been looking for you!”

Shinji hadn't noticed the SDAT player in her hand and earphone in her ear until she stepped forward and lifted her left hand to his ear, putting the other earphone into it.

“Listen, Mana kissed me. I don’t have feelings for her.”

“Shut up, Shinji,” she whispered as she moved her hand from his ear and cupped his face.

He was taken completely by surprise when she swiftly closed the final few inches between them, pressing her lips against his. For a moment, the two became one, joined at the mouth. They stood still, the room stood still, the world stood still; but his head spun.

Shinji was barely able to process what was happening: the girl of his dreams was kissing him, reciprocating the feelings he was sure he had for her. But, what was he supposed to do now? He’d never kissed anyone before.

After a few moments, Asuka pulled away, breaking the kiss. Her eyes opened and locked onto Shinji’s already open eyes, and then looked down at the SDAT player in her right hand, confused.

“Nothing…” she whispered.

Inches apart again, Shinji tried to salvage the situation again: “Asuka, I don’t like Man-”

But the girl silenced him again with her lips, this time pressing a little more forcefully against him. Undeterred, however, Shinji attempted to mumble through his closed mouth, _I have to tell her the truth!_

“It was only a kiss,” he forced through his shut lips, awkwardly vibrating against Asuka’s.

The girl grunted in frustration, her left hand reaching up and pinching his nose to prevent any sound from coming out, and she aggressively mumbled against his, “Shut up, Shinji…”

Once again, time faded away: two teens standing at the center of the universe, connected at the mouths. Seemingly nothing could separate the two, nothing except the realization that there was no magic happening.

No new song, no new vision. Just the same silence that had already scared Shinji half to death.

Again, Asuka broke the kiss and stepped back, this time slightly farther, halted by the tension of the earphone cord between them. Shinji could see the visible frustration on her face, her eyes scanning all around, avoiding direct eye contact with him.

Her hand had released his nose, allowing him to take a breath and collect himself. He wanted so much to explain what happened, to tell her that he’d gone straight to her room searching for her, to ask her why she was in his room, why she had the SDAT, or why she had kissed him. He wanted so much, but one want pushed everything else aside, tired from neglect and now asserting itself at the forefront of Shinji’s mind:

He wanted to kiss her.

Disregarding Mana, the room, the SDAT player, and their mysterious connection, Shinji only considered the moment and threw caution to the wind: he reached out and pulled Asuka close, granting the girl the kiss she’d been waiting for for longer than either of them knew.

And music played.

**Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine**   
**Gotta gotta be down because I want it all**   
**It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?**   
**It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss**

As the song continued, so, too, did their kiss. Instead of two students kissing in a dorm room, they became roommates kissing in a cramped apartment, still afraid of their attraction to each other and vulnerability that would come with it. However neither Shinji nor Asuka cared who or where they were: all that mattered was their kiss.

**Now I'm falling asleep, and she's calling a cab**   
**While he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag**   
**Now they're going to bed and my stomach is sick**   
**And it's all in my head, but she's touching his chest now**

The music filled their ears, scoring a moment grander than either could comprehend. The kiss was still and motionless, but full of hope and need.

**He takes off her dress now**   
**Let me go**   
**And I just can't look, it's killing me**   
**And taking control**

Leading the two through this uncharted territory, Shinji slowly guided Asuka backwards, towards his bed where they collapsed on it, still joined at the lips and the earphone cord between them.

**Jealousy**   
**Turning saints into the sea**   
**Swimming through sick lullabies**   
**Choking on your alibis**   
**But it's just the price I pay**   
**Destiny is calling me**   
**Open up my eager eyes**   
**'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside**

Now horizontal, the kiss continued: intense, fueled by the suppressed desire of more than two teenage souls. Disregarding any foreign thoughts or memories, all they cared was that Asuka and Shinji were kissing, universe be damned.

**Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine**   
**Gotta gotta be down because I want it all**   
**It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?**

“It was only a kiss.”

“Shut up, Third.”

**It was only a kiss**

**Now I'm falling asleep, and she's calling a cab**   
**While he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag**   
**Now they're going to bed and my stomach is sick**   
**And it's all in my head, but she's touching his chest now**

**He takes off her dress now**   
**Let me go**   
**And I just can't look, it's killing me**   
**And taking control**

At some point, the passion had slowed, their kisses resembling less of a desperate hunger and now of comfort and compassion, as if they were both apologizing for the thousands of missed signals between what felt like an impossibly many lifetimes.

**Jealousy**   
**Turning saints into the sea**   
**Swimming through sick lullabies**   
**Choking on your alibis**   
**But it's just the price I pay**   
**Destiny is calling me**   
**Open up my eager eyes**   
**'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside**

Asuka was the first to break the kiss, speaking as the music continued to play through their ears. She and Shinji laid on the bed, his fingers running through her hair.

**I never**

“I can’t believe you kissed me. I didn’t think you had it in you,” she smiled.

**I never**

“Me neither,” he sighed.

**I never!**

“About Mana: she kissed me. I wanted to kiss you,” he explained.

**I never!**

“I know,” she answered. “But I don’t want to talk about her. I don’t want to talk about anything.”

And the talking stopped, but their lips didn’t.

* * *

As designed, the alarm clock sounded promptly at seven, stirring one more body awake than expected. Shinji’s eyes slowly opened, filled with the first unrestrained sunlight in almost a week. As his mind arose with him, he felt more senses returning, but his vision quickly became the most alarming. Beyond the yellow of the early morning sun, beyond the dingy brown stained ceiling, his attention was drawn to one particular color: red. Red like Asuka.

Red like Asuka.

_Red like Asuka? Red like-, AHH!_ was all the panicked boy could think as his eyes fully focused on the red head of hair gently resting on his chest.

Shaking the girl gently, Shinji’s terrified whispers filled the room, “ _Asuka. Asuka! Asuka, wake up! You have to get up!_ "

The girl groaned and moaned, offering weak resistance to the desperate boy, “Mmmm, nooo… so commmmfyy…”

“ _Asuka, you have to get up or we’re gonna get caught!_ ” Shinji hissed through clenched teeth, the fear of anyone discovering them growing in his mind.

“Fine, fine, I’m get-” Asuka, finally upright, paused and froze mid-stretch, realizing where she was and when it was, “ _Scheiße, Shinji! What happened?!_ ”

“ _I don’t know!_ "

The two stood quickly, checking their surroundings. Shinji quickly removed his dress shirt from the night prior, attempting to remove any evidence that he was too busy to change out of it. It took a moment until he noticed Asuka was frozen in place, eyeing her clothes suspiciously.

“Asuka, what are you doing?” he asked.

She pulled at the collar of the yellow shirt, turning her neck and spinning in place, trying to read the tag, “Shinji, whose shirt is this and where are my clothes?”

Pulling his last clean sweater over his head, the boy looked back and stared, horrified to see she was standing in a yellow t-shirt that was too large for her slender frame, and not the skirt and blouse combination from the night before. His face turning red at the implication, he had to ask, “Wh- wh- Asuka, when did you change?”

“I didn’t! Whose shirt is this and _why is it on me?!_ ” she argued back, still pulling at the garment. “And where are my clothes?!”

Head still spinning, Shinji tried his best to hush the girl as he paced back and forth in the room, “Ok, ok, so, before we deal with any of this, you need to get to your room.”

Asuka held the hem of the baggy shirt out, displaying the significant size on her, “You think?”

Noticing the deep v-neck had also settled pretty low on the girl, Shinji blushed and turned towards the door, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, “A- Asuka! Y- your... your...!”

She looked down and saw the revealing neckline, the top of her bra peeking out, and also spun around, her face flushing, “Mein gott, can this morning get any worse?”

Settling down, Shinji cracked his door and peered into the hall, watching as a couple boys walked around, some heading for the elevator. He turned back into his room and shut the door, “Ok, you’re going to have to hang out here for a bit. At least until everyone leaves for breakfast."

Asuka had put on Shinji’s parka again, attempting to cover up what the tiny blue shorts and oversized yellow t-shirt would not. Exasperated, she flopped onto the bed, “Ugh! Thiiiiiiiiiiiis sucks!”

Stepping back from the door, the boy tried his best to avert his gaze from the girl as she bundled the coat over her. Shinji sat down on the bed across from her, his hands nervously fidgeting and tapping until a slender hand emerged from the parka across the bed and rested on them.

"Hey, it’s gonna be ok. I just need to get to my floor without anyone noticing, and everything will be back to normal," Asuka spoke softly, despite the predicament they were in. “Well, relatively normal.”

"I know," Shinji responded, still worried, "I'm just so confused: there's so much going on. Like, what happened last night, and then a new song, and then we, uh, fell asleep again, and now your clothes, and-"

Sensing the boy's panic rising again, Asuka emerged from the parka, scooting forward on the bed and taking his hands in hers, "Hey, we might as well take it one thing at a time. We're stuck here for, what, a half hour?"

He nodded in agreement.

"Ok, then. Let's start at the beginning."

"Ok," and so Shinji shifted gears. "First: Mana kissed me, I swear. I wanted to kiss you."

"I know."

He paused, "You do?"

"You weren't exactly subtle about it. 'I've been looking forward to this all day', or something," Asuka quoted. 

"I said that out loud?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded.

"Huh... Sorry."

The redhead shot Shinji a glare that could cut diamond, "Was that a lie?"

He gulped, afraid of her reaction to the truth: "No."

On hearing that word, however, Asuka's smile returned as she brushed her hair behind her ear, "Then don't apologize. I _liked_ hearing that. It was honest."

"'Honest'?"

"Yeah, 'honest'. I like honest. I need honest."

"‘Honest’... huh. You want 'honest'? I can give you 'honest'," and Shinji took a deep breath. "I like you, Asuka. A lot. It took a lot for me to dance with you, but I did it because of how much I like you. It took even more for me to slow dance with you, especially to that song. So, at midnight, when Mana kissed me, I was terrified that I'd blown it, again, somehow. And when you ran off, I... I thought it was over."

Asuka was silent, taking in Shinji’s thoughts and feelings. After a few moments of contemplation, she replied, "When I ran off, it was. My first instinct was to be mad at you. To, to hate you. But, by the time I got to the elevator I realized it wasn't you I was running from, it was us.”

“What do you mean?”

“What we have is... different... and scary. Especially with the whole music thing. So, I went straight for your SDAT, thinking I'd find answers there, but I couldn't listen to it. I was scared that it wouldn't work for me, that the magic would be gone, so I waited for you."

"So that's why you were here. And the kiss?"

She blushed, looking down at his hands, still held in hers, "I thought that would trigger something new. I- I needed it to, to confirm my... suspicions."

"Which is why you were so frustrated when it didn't work," Shinji concluded.

"Exactly. But, then you kissed me and..." Asuka’s eyes fluttered.

"Yeah, why did that work? Why did it matter?"

The two sat in silence again, Asuka being the first to offer an idea, "Maybe because yours was genuine?"

"'Genuine'? Yours wasn't?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant," she corrected. "When I kissed you, I was more focused on making something happen. I mean, I'm glad I kissed you, but... I was more worried about the music than the kiss."

Shinji smiled, "And I didn't care. I just wanted to kiss you."

Asuka looked up, nervously brushing the hair out of her face again, and smiled back at him, genuinely happy to hear those words. 

The two shared a silent moment together, both recalling the near-catastrophic evening and the incredible recovery it made. Shinji tried to remember every detail: the way her lips felt against his, the way her body felt pulled close, how breathless her voice was. 

"Hang on: you called me something last night, while we were," he blushed and stumbled on his words, "uh, making out."

"I did? What was that?"

"You said, 'Shut up, Third.' What does that mean?"

Asuka sat quiet, unable to answer the question, "Are you sure I said that?"

Shinji nodded.

"That doesn’t sound like me. Maybe you misheard me?"

"No, I know that's what I heard. It confused me at the time, but I didn't want to... interrupt," the boy blushed at the end.

"Good idea," Asuka winked. "But, I don't know. You’re not the ‘third’ anything. Maybe it has to do with the new song?"

"Oh right, the new song!" Shinji excitedly stood up, retrieving his SDAT player, notebook, and pencil. He excitedly sat down, offering an earphone to Asuka. “I… barely heard it last night.”

Asuka blushed and smiled, “Me- uh, me too.”

After a short moment of pure happiness, the two briefly traded theories about the mysterious nickname before turning back to the music. Listening and taking down lyrics like they'd done thrice before, the song's subject matter left them even more perplexed than any of the previous.

"'It was only a kiss, how did it end up like this'? That sounds like... us?" Asuka hypothesized.

"I don't know. This feels so much more personal than the other songs." Shinji turned back a page, pulling up the lyrics of the previous song, "Yesterday we pointed out 'I just wish we could go back one more time and begin it', and this song is about... a relationship... and has the line 'Destiny is calling me'."

"So, this relationship ending feels like the end of the world, and someone wants to go back and start over again and do it right?"

He sat in silence, considering Asuka's theory. It lined up with some of the music, but there was still too little information to be sure of anything, "Maybe. That fits it all, but I just don't see how we're involved."

"Maybe we aren't. Maybe it's just a coincidence," Asuka shrugged, unable to come up with a better answer.

Exasperated, Shinji sighed, "I don't like all these 'maybe's."

"What, are you suggesting we're the couple?"

As the two silently entertained the idea, a hard knock on the door once again startled them back to life.

"Herrgott nochmal, why does that keep happening?!" the irritated girl asked. 

At the door, Shinji peered through the peephole and saw Toji standing in the hallway. "It's Toji."

"I'm still here, dummkopf, _don't open the door!_ " Asuka hissed from the room, but it was too late, Shinji had opened the door and greeted him.

"Good morning, Toji."

"Shin-man, where were you last night? You had us worried sick!"

Unsure of how to answer, Shinji mindlessly stepped out of the way, passively inviting Toji into the room. The jock entered, surprising Asuka.

" _Don't invite him in- scheiße!_ Hiiii Toji!" The redhead's tone quickly shifted from scolding Shinji to an over-the-top greeting.

"Morning Asuka, you're here early," Toji responded, clueless.

"Yup, just needed to chat with Shinji real quick! I'm gonna go _back_ to my room and change!" Asuka put heavy emphasis on the word 'back'.

"See ya."

The girl stood up and awkwardly walked out of the room, pulling the hem of the baggy yellow t-shirt down, trying to conceal her barely covered legs as much as possible.

In a shocked silence, Shinji closed the door to his room, wondering how they'd got by Toji scot-free.

"Seriously, man, where were you last night?"

Not wanting to make the same mistake of oversharing twice, Shinji decided to again play dumb instead of explaining the entire situation, "I was here sleeping. I never found Asuka, she came to talk to me this morning."

Toji eyed the shorter boy suspiciously, "No way, man. You can tell me: I saw this room last night, it was empty."

Shinji's eyes widened, and he repeated the final word, "'Empty'? How?"

"Last night, after the dance, the staff did spot checks. When you didn't answer your door, I told them you were already asleep, which they bought and left. But after everything that happened with Mana, I wanted to check on you, so I came by about two o'clock."

Shinji nodded, playing along with the story, "I was definitely asleep then."

Toji crossed his arms, "Shinji, I broke open your door. I like you, man, and I promised Hikari I would check on you."

Panic began to set in: Asuka was definitely in the room at that time. After their makeout session, the two teens gently fell asleep, cuddled together on the bed. Shinji recalled seeing his watch just before, putting their falling asleep at about 1:15. There would be no way of explaining them two sleeping together.

"But the room was empty. Both beds were empty. So, where were you?"

The panic turned to confusion, “We wer- uh, I was definitely here all night!”

“‘We’?” Toji raised an eyebrow but dismissed it quickly, “I’m telling you, man, there was _no one_ here. But, I won’t pry: it’s none of my business.”

Shinji’s confusion continued. He wanted to clear his name, but understood that he’d only be digging his grave. 

“I just want to make sure: is everything okay? With Asuka, I mean,” he concluded.

“Yes. Better than okay, I think. We... we talked a lot this morning. And, it’s all good now,” Shinji explained with a suppressed smile.

“Good. Anyway,” Toji changed the subject and nodded towards the hallways, “let’s get down to breakfast. This’ll be the last one until March if all goes well!”

“Yeah, let’s do that...” Shinji agreed, following the boy out the door. As he exited the room, he glanced in one last time, Toji’s words echoing in his ears: _‘There was_ no one _here.’_

When the two boys emerged from the elevator on the ground floor, Shinji caught Asuka sitting on the bench, chatting with Hikari. While significantly less terrifying than the last identical encounter, Shinji was still slightly worried:

Most importantly, he still didn’t know where his relationship with Asuka officially stood, at least publicly. Despite the catastrophic start to the New Year, the two had spent a large amount of the early morning kissing, but Toji interrupted them before they could delve into the realities of their relationship.

Less importantly, said late-night encounter was still a concern. Considering the first overnight stay the previous evening, and his revealing the whole thing to Hikari with little prodding, Shinji didn’t want to repeat the same mistake twice. He decided to play this one close to the vest and let Asuka reveal as much as she felt comfortable.

Finally, there was the little matter of Toji claiming the room was vacant upon inspection, which would only fuel rumors if it was somehow revealed that the two were missing together.

All these thoughts swirling in his head, Shinji didn’t realize he’d been awkwardly standing by the girls until Hikari waved her hand in front of his face.

“Helloooo, Earth to Shinji. Are you there, Shinji?”

The boy blinked rapidly, essentially clearing his mind, “Oh, hey, hi, Hikari.”

His best friend smiled, “My goodness, you look exhausted. _Late night?_ ” she teased.

Immediately Shinji blushed, saved by Asuka before he had to come up with an answer, “Uhh, yeah, that’s my fault: I woke him up early to talk. It was important.”

“Oooooooh,” Hikari jokingly cooed, “Talk about what?”

“I’ll tell you, but first I need to talk to…” Asuka gulped, before looking at Shinji, “... my boyfriend.”

The brunette gasped, her hands covering her mouth in shock, “Did you just say ‘boyfriend’?”

Asuka nodded slightly, confirming it to not only Hikari, but also Shinji.

“Fine, I’ll go, but you owe me an explanation at breakfast!” Hikari bargained as she stood up and gave the couple an awkward hug. “I’m so happy for you two!”

Shinji turned to Asuka after Hikari left, quietly confirming, “‘Boyfriend’? You didn’t even ask me first,” he chuckled sarcastically.

The redhead shrugged, “You don’t get a choice, Shinji. If I can’t have you all to myself, then I don’t want anything from you.”

His chuckle faded into an awkward silence at the oddly possessive statement, but he dismissed it, “That’s okay, I’ll be yours as long as you’ll have me.” 

“Gut. Now, we have another small problem: I still can’t find my clothes from last night, and that skirt is Keita’s.”

Shinji shook his head, “Asuka, we have a bigger problem than that.”

“What now?” she asked.

“Did we go anywhere last night? Or leave my room for any reason? At any point?”

The girl shook her head, “No, we were… together. Why?”

“Toji said he came into the room to check on me.”

“Oh gott, _what did he see?_ ” Asuka asked in a whisper.

“That’s the thing: he didn’t see anything,” Shinji explained.

“What?”

“Asuka, Toji didn’t see anything. He said the room was empty.”

A silence fell over the couple, both unsure of what to say next. Shinji watched Asuka carefully, trying to read her face.

“That’s… that’s not possible,” she whispered, her voice quivering. “None of this is possible…”

Shinji’s mind continued to race, so much information to process, including his new relationship status. “Asuka-”

Abruptly, she stood up, quickly shaking her head, “Let’s get to breakfast, we’ll find some time to talk more later.”

Even more confused by the sudden change of topic, Shinji stood still, rooted to the spot. At least until Asuka quickly kissed him, again freeing his trapped mind.

“Come on, I have to show off my boyfriend. I think that will distract everyone enough to get through this afternoon.”

* * *

Hand in hand, the two entered the cafeteria and approached their friends’ table, shocking half of the occupants. Hikari was the first to jump up and congratulate the two, with Toji and Musashi following, razzing them for “knowing all along”. Keita was second to last, offering support to an uncharacteristically quiet Mana.

The normally outgoing girl approached Asuka hesitantly, almost unable to look her in the eye, “Asuka, I- I’m sorry.”

The German girl stared at the shorter Japanese girl, "You really are a brat.”

Mana’s eyes widened, and she looked down at the ground in shame, “I- Asuka, I-”

But the taller girl pulled her in for a hug and giggled, “It’s a good thing I like you, then. I forgive you.”

The hug was brief, but Mana looked relieved after, almost immediately bouncing back to her lively self, “Oh, I’m so happy for you two!”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Shinji watched as Asuka thanked the girl. The immediate discomfort had passed, the tension at the table settling for a low hum as everyone sat back down at the table, nervously chatting circles around the most pressing matter: today was their last day at Myojo Academy.

“Do you think we’ll all be accepted?” Musashi asked nervously.

“The odds are pretty low,” replied Asuka dismissively, failing to read the room. The uncomfortable silence prompted her to try and save the mood, “Bu- but it’s not impossible! Jemandem die Daumen drücken!”

The nervous conversation continued until the entire room was once again interrupted by a loud _BOP BOP BOP!_ over the speakers. As everyone turned to look at the front of the room, Asuka gently took Shinji’s hand under the table.

“Good morning everyone!” Deputy Director Katsuragi cheerfully greeted the cafeteria. “Hard to believe it, but today’s our last day together!”

There was a smattering of gentle applause and cheers as she continued, “After breakfast, we are asking you to return to the dormitory and pack your things as you’ll be dismissed after lunch today. There are snow plows coming through this morning, so the pick up area will be accessible by noon.

“I want to thank each and every one of you for your patience and understanding in this. I know it was a drastic, sudden change, but I’m so glad to have been able to keep each and every one of you safe during this blizzard.

“So, as a reward,” Misato smiled, “aaand to stave off boredom, we finished grading all of your entry exams: your score letters will be available at the registration tables in the lobby after lunch. Please pick it up before leaving us.”

There was a nervous excitement among the students as they heard the news. Usually the letters come after a month of anxious waiting, so receiving results within a week was pretty unheard of. 

With an enthusiastic smile, the purple-haired woman concluded, “Enjoy your breakfast everyone, and we’ll see you back here for lunch. And I can’t wait to see you back in March!”

Shinji looked back at his table and caught several apprehensive looks, the reality of the situation had come hard and fast: it was entirely possible that this group’s last time together would be at lunch.

Beyond the group, though, Shinji was much more concerned about Asuka and their precarious situation: the girl lived on an entirely different continent, thousands of miles between them. If she wasn’t accepted, they’d be separated forever, their newly formed relationship broken apart.

Apparently, Asuka had realized just as much, as she stood from the table and dismissed herself, “Hey, I’ll be right back. I have to make a call.”

* * *

After lunch, all four hundred students lined up at their appropriate tables in the lobby, repeating the events of the very first day. Shinji gave his name for the final time, exiting the line after being handed a sealed envelope, his fate concealed within. Remembering his promise, he pocketed the still unopened results, panicking slightly at the thought that he couldn’t tell Asuka whether he’d be back in the spring.

_‘Mr. Keeps His Promises’ is going to be the death of me,_ he chuckled nervously.

Shinji joined his group of friends in the back corner, standing with their luggage. Mana, Keita, Musashi, and Hikari were all talking excitedly, sharing their acceptance letters, making plans for the spring. They had been accepted, as had Toji, Hikari explained, but he had left to call his parents.

Asuka was the last to arrive, putting her letter back in the envelope with a small smile.

“Did you get in, Asuka?!” Hikari asked.

“Well, of course I did. I am the great Asuka Langley Soryu, and my superior German education all but guaranteed my acceptance into any school I desired,” she replied triumphantly, hands on her hips.

“Well, that just leaves Shinji,” Toji turned to the boy, back from his phone call. “We’re all in: what about you?”

Shinji smiled softly and patted the envelope in his coat, “Sorry guys, but I’m not opening it. I promised someone they’d be the first to know.”

“Oh, come on!” “Boo!” Musashi and Keita playfully ragged him, until Hikari chimed in.

“Guys, this is actually very important. I know it sucks, but he’ll know later tonight, and I’ll text all of you.”

Peering out the door at the arrival dock, Mana grabbed her luggage, “You better! I want all of us back here in March!”

“He’ll be here. I can just feel it,” Hikari responded confidently. “But, I’ll still let you all know tonight.”

Mana, Keita, and Musashi all grabbed their bags and said their goodbyes, heading out into the cold to be picked up.

“And Asuka,” Keita turned back just before the door, “you owe me a skirt.”

The redhead blushed and returned a thumbs-up, “You got it.”

With the Tokyo locals gone, the remaining foursome made their way outside, heading for the subway station. The two couples chatted lightly on the short ride to Meidaimae Station, making plans for double dates when they returned to the big city. 

Osaka bound, Toji was scheduled to depart the train station first. While he and Hikari shared a moment, Shinji pulled Asuka to the side.

“I’m surprised you didn’t say anything about me not opening my letter,” Shinji commented, turning away and giving the other couple a little privacy. “This could be the last time we see each other.”

“What makes you think that?” Asuka asked with a smirk.

“Wait, seriously? What happens if you go back to Germany and I wasn’t accepted?”

“Do you think you can get rid of me that easily?”

“Honestly, I don’t want to get rid of you at all,” Shinji said with a sad smile. “All this work and we’re finally together, but on the last day…”

Asuka smiled, “I told my father I’m going to stay in Japan for a bit.”

Stunned, Shinji took a moment to gather his thoughts, “Wow, that’s great! And he’s letting you?” he asked incredulously.

“I didn’t really give him a choice, to be honest.”

“I wish I could tell off my father like that,” Shinji mumbled before perking up, “Anyway, are you going to stay in Tokyo? I could come see you!”

She smirked, “Actually, I was thinking about staying in Otsuki.”

The boy’s eyes widened in surprise, “Re-really?!”

“Yeah, I’ve already cleared it with Hikari; she’s going to let me stay with her.”

Shinji smiled, “Yeah, that would be for the best.”

“Plus,” she continued, her smirk fading as the topic became more serious, “there’s a lot of stuff going on we need to figure out. Not only the music, but apparently we’re disappearing and changing clothes.”

Shinji’s smile also faded, the unbridled joy of having a girlfriend overshadowed by the clouded mystery that surrounded them both: new music, strange visions, unknown words, and now vanishing acts. Individually these would be concerning, but put together they terrified the two teens. However, being together in Otsuki meant more time to work on it, to try and figure it out, together. And more time together seemed to be the trigger for this, and if it wasn’t, at least they’d still be together.

As the trio boarded the train to Otsuki, Shinji looked back one last time at the sprawling Tokyo skyline. It had been less than a week since he was last home, but so much had happened, so much had changed that he wasn't even sure where he’d have to begin.

Settling down near the back of the train, Shinji pulled off his scarf and coat, storing them above him with his bag. Asuka sat next to him, also removing her heavy coat and folding it neatly for storage above.

Hikari sat in the open row to the left of them, leaning into the aisle to talk to the couple during the hour-long ride back, "I still can't believe you convinced your father to let you come to Otsuki, Asuka. It'll be nice to show you around our hometown!"

The German girl chuckled, turning to Hikari, "I didn't 'convince' him as much as I just told him what I was doing. He understood... it's still too hard to go back."

"Is everything ok?" Hikari asked, picking up on the tonal shift.

"Brandenburg is full of bad memories. Lots of family drama and stuff I'd rather not get into. Plus, I'm trying to avoid him..."

"Boy troubles?"

The question perked Shinji's ears up. Not wanting to pry into her dating life, but also curious about pre-Myojo Asuka, he listened as she answered, "Something like that. Like I said, I'd rather not talk about it... maybe one day."

"Well, changing subjects," Hikari took the hint, "you're going to love Otsuki: it's a beautiful town with an amazing view of Mt. Fuji. I can’t wait to take you to my mom's restaurant, KoHiNo!"

"' _Kohino_ '?" Asuka repeated, "I know my Japanese isn't that great, but what does that mean?"

The brunette giggled, "It doesn't mean anything, it's all three of her daughters: Ko-dama, Hi-kari, and No-zomi. KoHiNo."

For the next half hour, Hikari and Asuka lively chatted about Otsuki, discussing the school she and Shinji had attended, the shopping and entertainment options, and, most importantly, according to Asuka, the dining choices.

Shinji was unable to contribute to the conversation, however, as he felt a black cloud in his mind growing as they rode closer to his hometown and the unavoidable history within it. All he could do is stare out the window and worry about facing his family, or what remained of it. Asuka’s sudden decision to accompany him to Otsuki filled Shinji with great joy, but he also understood that bringing her back home also meant he would have to explain his family situation to her, a topic he desperately wanted to avoid.

Nearing the halfway point, Asuka stood and excused herself to the restroom, giving Hikari a moment to slip next to her unusually silent best friend, "Shinji, are you okay?" 

Gently stirred from his self-reflection, the boy turned and forced a smile, "I'm fine, Hikari."

"I know you're nervous about being back. And now you've brought your girlfriend. That's a lot to deal with."

Hikari was never one to mince words, especially when she knew how Shinji was feeling, which was almost always, "That's pretty much it... I still haven't even told her."

Pondering for a moment, Hikari shrugged, “I know it’s a tough subject, but you can’t put it off forever.”

Shinji rolled his eyes, already knowing the answer but asking anyway, "Can't you just tell her for me?"

"That is _absolutely_ not my place, Ikari Shinji," Hikari retorted, crossing her arms against her chest. 

"I know, I'm sorry," he shamefully replied, turning his gaze back out the window. A towering object in the distance piqued his curiosity, and afforded him a chance to change the topic, "Do you know anything about those things?"

The pigtailed brunette peered over Shinji out the window, "Do you mean the Remnants?”

“Is that what they’re called? The giant crosses?”

"Yeah, I remember reading something about them. They aren’t crosses, they have heads and bodies, and some of them are weirdly mutilated,” Hikari explained, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “There's, like, a dozen of them all over Yamanashi and Kanagawa. The general consensus is no one knows what they are or where they came from; they just exist.”

Shinji watched the object grow larger as the train approached, it’s outstretched arms almost inviting him in. Still in the distance, the statue towered over its surroundings, a heavy layer of snow covering it. Until the head moved, dumping the layer of snow as it looked downward and grinned at the passing train.

The boy recoiled in horror, quickly standing and instinctually backing away from the window. Hikari looked out the window for the source of Shinji’s concern, but found nothing out of the ordinary as the tracks continued around a bend.

“Shinji, Shinji, are you okay?!” she asked.

Alarming some of the other passengers on the car, Shinji sheepishly sat back down in his seat, his eyes still affixed to the Remnant now in the distance, undisturbed from its original state.

“ _It must be my imagination..._ ” he whispered under his breath.

“What?”

Shinji turned to his best friend and forced an embarrassed smile, “Sorry, I thought I saw a spider.”

Hikari giggled, “A bit of an overreaction to a spider, but I understand.”

Turning back out the window, Shinji watched the Remnant disappear around a mountain. 

Asuka returned shortly after and replaced Hikari at Shinji’s side, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Throughout the final twenty minutes of the ride, he’d attempted to broach the subject of his family a couple times, but was ultimately unable to find the words.

After the train pulled into Kami-Otsuki Station, the trio donned their heavy coats, collected their bags, and exited, now greeted by the cold air of a Japanese mountainside winter: lacking the ambient heat of a dense, urban area, the peaceful town was significantly colder than the metropolis they’d left an hour before. 

Walking to the apartment building, Hikari took to pointing out several memorable and important spots to Asuka, expanding on the rich history she and Shinji shared. While they chatted, however, the boy remained silent, his obvious nervousness continuing to grow as they landed on their floor.

At Unit 202, Shinji entered slowly, offering a gentle, “I’m home...” to no response. He continued into the apartment, dropping his bag by the laundry room and peered around, silently.

“Hello?” he called, searching the kitchen and family room, finding the place empty. Shinji looked at the clock.

_It’s 5:32, she should be home,_ he thought until a sadness overtook him. _Oh. I know where she is..._

He left his apartment and went next door to Unit 204, opening the door to find Asuka and Hikari talking while they dropped their bags in the Horaki home.

“No one’s home,” Shinji explained. “I think I’m gonna go to the cemetery.”

Hikari nodded, “No big deal. How about I take Asuka to KoHiNo, and you can join us after?”

“That sounds good, I can’t wait to see everyone there,” he smiled softly.

Asuka gently asked. “Do you want me to come?”

“No, not this time,” the boy objected. “I have to do this on my own.”

“Ok. Can I ask what’s at the cemetery?”

Shinji paused, looking down at the ground for a moment, until his gaze met Asuka’s, “I have to go find my mother.”

* * *

Snow crunched under Shinji’s feet as he walked, creating a fresh set of footprints following a fainter, older set. Once he had seen the footprints at the cemetery’s entry and the direction they led, he was certain of who they belonged to.

Shinji had visited the gravesite the morning before leaving for Tokyo, asking for luck and guidance, and he’d promised to return as soon as he’d come back from the entrance exams. Unfortunately, a freak blizzard turned that overnight stay into almost an entire week, and Shinji found himself full of stories to relay to the small obelisk of a headstone, only wishing its occupant could respond.

As he approached the site, he noticed a tall figure standing in front of it, covered in a heavy jacket and scarf, concealing their identity. But Shinji knew who it was: it was easy to assume considering he was certain his father would never set foot there, he had said as much.

“Hello mother.”

Yui Ikari turned, a shocked expression taking over her face, as she spoke softly, “Shinji! I didn’t realize you’d be coming home today!”

Shinji finally arrived at the headstone, standing next to the taller woman, “I called earlier and left a voicemail. And Hikari said she talked to her mom, so I’d assumed she told you.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been at the clinic all day.”

The family practitioner had buried herself in her work ever since the funeral. Fueled by the crushing loss of a child and the self-imposed guilt of being a doctor herself that never once caught the diagnosis before it was too late, early mornings and late hours seven days a week was not out of the ordinary since July.

“It’s ok. I’m sorry I was gone so long,” Shinji responded. 

“I'm just glad you're safe. I couldn't handle..."

The matron Ikari faded off, but Shinji quickly interrupted her line of thought, "That was never a risk, we were all safe and sound inside the Academy."

Wiping a tear from her eye, Yui pulled Shinji close and looked at the tombstone, "I miss her, Shinji. I miss her every day. And when you were gone, it was just unbearable..."

"It's ok, mother. I'm home."

"I don't know what I'm going to do if you get accepted to this academy, Shinji."

"Uhh, about that," Shinji paused and pulled the unopened acceptance letter out of his coat. "They scored them while we were locked in. Nothing better to do, I'm guessing."

Yui looked at Shinji, surprised, "And you didn't open it?"

He shook his head, "No, I promised her she'd be the first to know. She's the one that signed us up for the exam, anyway."

Holding her breath in anticipation, the boy's mother watched as he slowly tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter.

"Well, here we go: 'On behalf of Myojo Academy, we would like to invite Ikari Shinji of Otsuki, Yamanashi, Japan to attend the 2016 school year...’

"Wow," the boy paused, dropping his arms, tears welling up in his eyes. He felt a genuine smile form on his face, only wishing his late twin sister could be there with him. "I made it, Rei. I really made it."

* * *

The mother and son arrived at KoHiNo arm in arm, the warm restaurant greeting them with a gentle hug of centralized heating. They both removed their coats and hung them on the coat rack before entering the private party booth located in the back corner of the seating.

As planned, Hikari and Asuka were already there, sitting on the backside of the room, facing the entry. Glum from the earlier cemetery visit, Shinji felt his spirits lift as soon as he saw his girlfriend's smile.

"Shinji, Mrs. Ikari!" Hikari cheered, happy to see the final members of the party arrive. She stood and hugged the woman, squeezing tight.

"Why hello, Hikari!" Yui replied, returning the hug. "I'm so glad you all made it back safely."

After the hug ended, she sat down next to Hikari, curiously eyeing the conspicuous guest to Hikari's left.

Having nervously watched the exchange, Shinji started to greet the group, "Hey- _oof!!!_ " but he was tackled by a sixty pound missile that quickly wrapped its arms around his waist.

"Shiiiinjiiii!!!" the youngest Horaki cried, her face buried squarely in his chest. "I thought you were _never_ coming back!"

"Zuzu," the boy tried to calm the sobbing child down, "Of course I came back. I would never leave you."

After a tender moment between the two, the sobbing subsided and they took their seats at the table: Shinji sat directly next to Asuka on her right, while Nozomi sat on his right.

"So, Shinji, who's your friend?" Yui asked.

"That's Asuka!" Nozomi informed the woman, having been introduced earlier. "Isn't she pretty? She's from Germany and she's really nice!"

Asuka blushed at the compliments, taking a quick sip of her water.

"That's why she's Shinji's girlfriend!"

The suddenly self-conscious German girl choked on her water, hoping she had successfully convinced the young girl to keep it a secret. Shinji patted her back and handed her a napkin as she coughed the liquid out of her lungs, considering dying of embarrassment instead.

"'Shinji's... girlfriend'?" his mother repeated, raising an eyebrow at the boy.

"And here we'd hoped a romantic week alone in Tokyo would've brought Shinji and Hikari together," Mrs. Horaki commented as she entered the room with a tray of delicious looking food.

"Mom!" "Mrs. Horaki!" Hikari and Shinji protested in tandem.

The eldest woman waved her hand dismissively, "Oh don't you 'Mom!' me, young lady. And 'Mrs. Horaki'? If you won't call me 'Mom', 'Aunt Teiko' is fine, Shinji. Anyway, I still have hope."

"Mom!" Hikari challenged back. "We've already told you it's not going to happen."

Teiko laughed, sitting at the table next to Yui, "There’s still time. Tell me again after university, child."

Both Shinji and Hikari rolled their eyes in tandem, hoping the conversation would move forward.

Standing up and leaning over Hikari, Yui offered her hand to Asuka, "Ikari Yui. As I'm sure you've figured out, I'm Shinji's mother."

Asuka took the woman's hand and shook it firmly, "I'm Asuka: Asuka Langley Soryu."

Remembering their first awkward introductions, Shinji stifled a laugh and smiled, _I bet she doesn’t hold her hand._

"It's very nice to meet you, Asuka," Yui responded as she sat down. "Now, odd question, but you wouldn't happen to be David Langley's daughter, would you?"

Surprised, Asuka's eyes widened at the mention, "Y- yes. How did you know that?"

"There aren't many redheads in Japan, and Zuzu-" Yui stopped as Nozomi crossed her arms and grunted, "I'm sorry, _Nozomi_ , mentioned you were from Germany, and I remember meeting David Langley of the Langley Foundation, who also has bright, red hair. So, I put two and two together."

"He's bald now," Asuka stated matter-of-factly, "he decided to shave it... because of..." but the girl trailed off, looking down her plate.

Yui dismissed it and continued, "Either way, we met at a banquet earlier this year.”

Asuka’s eyes widened again, “The MPNST banquet?”

“Yes...” the eldest Ikari sighed and looked down at her plate, signalling the end of the conversation. There was a heavy silence in the room, the only sound being Teiko Horaki dishing toshikoshi soba into bowls for everyone.

"Now, I know we're a day late, but I couldn't bear to do this without you. We're already down two children, and I couldn't do this without two more," she said, looking at Shinji and Hikari. "And now we can share our traditions with Asuka!"

The group smiled at the girl, all expressing their delight to have her. They then explained the traditional New Year's Eve dish and the history behind it, as Nozomi began to loudly slurp hers up.

"Put those chopsticks down! You know we don't eat until we've shared otoso," Teiko scolded the youngest at the table.

"But I'm hungry!" Nozomi replied with a mouthful. "And I _hate_ otoso!"

Noticing another confused expression on Asuka's face, Shinji explained the Japanese tradition of New Year's sake: an ancient tradition meant to ward off demons, families would share sake out of three cups, passed from the eldest to the youngest member. 

The sake was replaced with water for the youngest member, where the teens were often allowed the tiniest sip of the bittersweet liquid. Not wanting to feel left out, Nozomi had taken to also complaining about the taste of the beverage, despite never partaking of it due to her age.

As the appropriate liquid was poured in the cups, Mrs. Horaki offered up a toast to the New Year, "To those we share with tonight, to those we aren't able to share with, and to those who have left us behind… We miss you, Rei, every day… To the New Year. Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year!" the group repeated, sipping the liquid and passing the cup.

Most of the children complained of the taste, but the German girl swallowed the liquid, shrugging, "That’s not the worst drink I’ve ever had."

As the group continued in their drinks, Asuka whispered to Shinji, "'Missing two children', I can only think of Hikari's older sister. Who else is missing? And who is 'Rei'?"

Shinji gulped, knowing the conversation was inevitable, and began to explain the secret that he’d carried for so long: "Asuka… I have- no… I had a sister. A twin sister. Her name was Rei."

The boy stood and removed a picture that was hanging on the restaurant wall, handing it to Asuka: there were five smiling children all standing together in traditional kimonos and yukata at a fall festival of some sort. Shinji, Hikari, and Nozomi were all recognizable, and the eldest child, another long-haired brunette, could be assumed to be Kodama. But it was the last girl in the picture that Asuka’s gaze was affixed to.

Shinji sat back down and continued his story, watching as the redhead’s eyes stared a hole in the picture, "Between the two families, it was me and four girls. And me, Hikari, and Rei were especially close due to our age. The three of us were inseparable. Or, so we thought...”

He swallowed again, his mouth drying out, "Last year, Rei was diagnosed with some kind of rare nerve cancer. She'd been hiding the symptoms for a while, so we caught it too late."

Asuka gasped at the words, her blue eyes still affixed to the red ones staring back at her. She whispered, barely audible to even herself, “Is that... Ayanami...?”

Shinji’s mouth continued to dry, his body trying to protect the boy from recounting the painful memories, "She was given a six-month prognosis in April, but on July 9, she passed away..."

Overhearing bits of the conversation, the room was eerily quiet, knowing how taboo the topic had been since the girl had passed less than a half year ago. Nozomi had begun to sniffle at the reminder that she’d lost one of her sisters, leaning over and clutching her mother’s arm.

"We were supposed to go to Myojo together. She signed all three of us up last December. I didn’t want to go without her, but before she..." his throat almost shut and he choked on the word, "... _died_... she made me promise I would still test."

Fear and confusion crossed Asuka's face, her eyes growing wider and wider as she finally looked at Shinji, "’July 9th’, mein gott…"

The girl abruptly stood up and excused herself, almost running out of the private room at full tilt, black tears running down her cheeks.

After a moment of confusion, Shinji pursued her, worried he'd offended the girl. Seeing the restaurant’s door swing close, he followed, finding her standing outside the restaurant in the frigid cold of a January evening.

"Asuka, come back inside, you're going to get sick," he begged, but the girl remained motionless, staring off into the night. "Asuka, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I haven't really processed Rei's death; this whole week was hard because we were supposed to be there together. I should've told you..."

The girl had pulled out her cell phone, typing furiously. After a few taps on the screen, she whispered under her breath, “‘Ayanami’. ‘Rei Ayanami’ was actually Rei Ikari…”

"What are you talking about?" Shinji asked, confused.

Asuka turned to him, her light makeup streaking under her eyes, "Your sister is 'Rei Ayanami' I've seen her before."

"What do you mean you've 'seen her'? And her name isn’t ‘Ayanami’, it’s ‘Ikari’."

Looking down at the phone again, Asuka's eyes widened, whispering, "She even looks like him..."

“Asuka, you’re not making any sense.”

The girl held her phone up against her chest, protecting whatever was displayed on it, “‘Rei Ayanami’ was her testing alias. For the clinical trials.”

Shinji’s eyes widened, “The- the what?”

"Malignant peripheral nerve sheathe tumor."

He was silent, unable to respond. Those words had haunted him for too long, and now they were back under even more mysterious circumstances.

"Tell me it was a 'malignant peripheral nerve sheathe tumor'."

“How- how did you-”

“Tell me that’s what she had!” Asuka demanded.

Now unnerved, Shinji's heart began racing, "That's exactly what it was... How did you know?"

The redhead slowly turned her phone around, displaying an image: two teenagers standing next to each other, smiling. One was Shinji's twin, Rei, the other was a boy, similarly albino with light hair and red eyes. There was a banner hanging behind their heads that read, "Welcome to th... ...te's 2015 MPNST Gala!"

Asuka spoke slowly, her breath visibly shaking in the cold air, "Shinji, I’m starting to think there’s something _more_ going on here..."

"What? What is this?" Shinji asked, increasingly horrified as he stared at the unfamiliar image.

"That's what he had. And he also passed away on July 9th,” she replied, pushing the phone closer to his face.

Shinji read the image description, “Why does this say ‘Rei Ayanami and Kaworu Nagisa’? Who is ‘Kaworu Nagisa’?”

“Like I said, ‘Ayanami’ was her testing alias: for anonymity when they published. ‘Nagisa’ was his.”

“Whose?”

The girl's face was drained of all emotion, only the vertical streaks of mascara coloring her usually rosy flesh. The words she said rang hollow, as if they scared her more than she could admit:

" _My_ twin brother’s."

* * *

Song: "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers


	6. I Saved It All For You

"You... had a twin brother?"

Shinji was near-speechless, his mind only able to conjure the one obvious question. The odds were incredibly low already, but with both of their late siblings having passed from the same cancerous disease on the same day, it was as if a bomb had gone off on the front porch of a small restaurant in Otsuki, Japan: anything was now possible.

"Yes..." Asuka sniffled, black tears beginning to crystallize on her cheeks.

The two stood in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time, both shivering uncontrollably. Every time either teen opened their mouth to speak, words never followed, leaving them to gasp like fish, drowning in what must have been over a million thoughts and comments. There was so much to discuss, the latest revelation seemingly turning their lives on its head, but nowhere to begin the conversation. How do you continue a conversation where every new piece of information learned only loosened their grasp on reality?

"Guys, it is absolutely freezing out here! Come back in!"

It was Hikari who broke the silence, joining them outside the restaurant after what felt like an hour, but was likely only a few minutes. She noticed the unusually heavy air between the two, the dark tears that had frozen to Asuka's face, and the empty, hollow expression on Shinji's face, "Is- is everything okay out here?"

Asuka tried to wipe her eyes with her hands, but the icy buildup stung, so she opted to put on a quick smile, "Yeah. It's-" she gulped, "it's a long story. I had a brother that died of cancer, too... So, hearing about Rei just hit a little close to home."

Hikari stepped closer to the girl and put her hand on her upper arm in a show of support, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

The redhead shook her head, "How could you? I didn't tell anyone. We weren't exactly close."

"You weren't close with your own brother?"

"Not the last few years. Like I said, 'it's a long story'; I'll tell you some other time, promise. I need to go wash up and get myself presentable again."

As Asuka walked back into KoHiNo, Shinji remained outside for a few moments, allowing the frozen air to swirl around and ground him. His mind had been racing ever since he was shown the mysterious photo, and somehow the inescapable silence after only worsened the effect.

He stared up at the clear night sky, watching the stars. _The sky looks unchanged_. Then he looked back down at the quiet town, blanketed in a sheet of pure white. _The world hasn't changed, either._

Shinji furrowed his brow in thought, _But why does everything feel-_

"Shinji, I'm worried about you," Hikari sighed. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Her words quickly dissolved his thoughts, dispersing them into the universe, and the surviving Ikari twin remembered he wasn't alone. Turning to Hikari, Shinji forced a smile, "I'm fine: just worried about Asuka."

Hikari shook her head slowly, "Maybe I'm reading too much into things, but you two always seem to be… I don't know, distracted."

"'Distracted'?"

She shrugged, "I don't know if that's what I mean. Just, you're disappearing together often, and always look like you're thinking about something else. It's weird."

"I'm sorry, Hikari. With Rei and everything that happened at Myojo, and now Asuka, everything's just been an emotional blur," Shinji tried to explain, unsure of how much he should divulge. "And now we've learned that she's _also_ lost a sibling, so I guess there's a lot for us to be distracted about."

Hikari approached quickly and hugged her best friend tight, "I can't imagine... Still, I worry about you, okay?"

"Hey, Hikari. I have a weird question."

"Shoot."

"Did we see each other before you left for Tokyo?" he asked, still embraced.

"Uhh, yeah! I came by for lunch. You packed me something for the train ride," Hikari responded, starting to shiver from the cold. "Why?"

Shinji wrapped his arms tight around his best friend, giving a self-assuring squeeze, as his eyes stayed unfocused on the distance, "I don't remember that."

"Well, you did. You seemed a little down that morning, though, but I just assumed it was because you were going to be... you know, alone for a couple days. I was worried about it, too."

"Thanks, Hikari. You really are the best," he sighed. But his eyes watched the horizon, hoping to see something, but never finding it. _Why don't I remember that...?_

"Now, let's get back inside, you're going to catch a cold."

Breaking the hug, Shinji agreed and followed her inside, eventually joined by a refreshed Asuka back at the table. The three sat down and offered a shallow explanation for their guest's sudden disappearance, before continuing their meal.

Understanding how tender the situation was, the rest of the meal consisted of a brief explanation of Japanese new year customs and traditions to a very interested Asuka. The German girl listened intently, as learning more about her and her mother's heritage was a key factor in her Myojo Academy application.

After dinner, Asuka leaned in and whispered to Shinji as the table was being cleared, "So, tomorrow sounds like it's going to be busy."

"Sorry," Shinji absent-mindedly apologized before a sharp elbow to the ribs and a glare from his fiery girlfriend forced him to reconsider. " _Ow!_ Uh, I mean, yeah. And that means I doubt we're going to find time to talk."

"No big deal. If I can't find time to talk, I'll make time."

"I'm confused."

Asuka smiled and winked at her confused beau, "Of course you are, einzeller. You just leave the thinking to me."

* * *

" _Shinji, are you awake?" a soft voice whispered._

" _No, it's too early, Rei," the sleeping boy refused, rolling over and pulling a pillow over his head._

" _We're gonna miss Toshigami-sama."_

" _You're 12, Rei. Don't you think you've outgrown the whole 'New Year's God' thing?" Shinji yawned as he rolled over._

" _Does anyone outgrow good fortune and health?"_

_The twin yawned again and allowed his eyes to fall shut, "Ask me again next year..."_

* * *

Early the next morning, Shinji gently pulled his apartment door shut, hoping to prevent it from waking anyone. Turning towards the stairwell, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he spotted both Asuka and Hikari standing before him.

" _AH!_ "

"Well _that_ was a girly scream," Asuka commented with a smile.

" _What are you two doing awake so early?!_ " Shinji forcefully whispered.

"Same thing you are, dummkopf. Hikari told me about this 'first sunrise' tradition, and I wanted to tag along."

The boy's best friend simply smiled and turned down the hallway, "Come on, Shinji, or you're gonna miss the second 'first sunrise' of the year, and then we'll look _really_ bad."

The trio emerged on the roof of the apartment building and stood near the edge, watching the twilight of the eastern sky. Hikari pulled three mugs out of her backpack and poured hot tea from a thermos, offering the steaming beverage to the others.

Asuka bathed in the sunrise in silence as Shinji and Hikari offered gentle prayers to the New Year's God, apologizing for the single day lapse due to their predicament in Tokyo.

"You know," Shinji spoke softly, still watching the breaking daylight crawl over the sleeping mountain town, "I was never really that big into these old Japanese traditions: it was always Rei that would drag us all out. Something about preserving our heritage."

The boy chuckled and rubbed the back of his head, "Rei was always so fascinated by the past. I think Myojo was the first thing she cared about in the future."

"You guys did this every year?" asked Asuka, sipping on her warm tea.

"We missed hatsuhinode once..." Shinji answered. "And considering the year that followed, I promised I wouldn't ever again."

Asuka opened her mouth as if to ask for more, but instead settled on taking Shinji's hand and watching the sun continue to rise. After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, the group headed back inside, explaining the day's remaining plans.

"First we'll start with a big breakfast, then we're off to the Mishima Shrine. After that, I think we'll get lunch and then go shopping; there are some nice shops in town. After that, we'll have osechi-ryōri back here at home."

"Sounds good to me."

"It'll be fun, Asuka. The whole day is about starting anew: asking for health and prosperity in the coming year," Hikari explained. "And the shops have the _best_ deals today."

* * *

"Ikari? Holy s- hey, Ryu, check it out, Ikari's back from Tokyo!"

Shinji looked up from his manga and saw two of his classmates, arms crossed and stern looks on their faces, "Oh, hey Ryuga, hey Sora."

The women had brought Shinji out shopping, another tradition he was quite familiar with and prepared for: he'd packed a couple manga and the SDAT to occupy him while the more interested shoppers buzzed around the half dozen clothing stores in Otsuki. Asuka had pulled Shinji into a sportswear shop, separate from the rest of the group, for a few minutes, but that had quickly turned into a half hour while the energetic redhead buzzed about, asking about things and trying on different clothes.

"Don't you 'Hey Ryuga' me, Ikari," the taller boy frowned. "The last time we see you, you were boarding a train to Tokyo. And then nothing for over a week? Not a single word from you?"

Realizing his two friends had been completely out of the loop regarding the Myojo snow-in, Shinji was overcome with guilt, "I'm sorry, guys. We _just_ got back to town yesterday. The blizzard really did a number on Tokyo, and we were trapped in the academy dorms until Friday."

"What?" "No way!" Sora and Ryuga simultaneously expressed their disbelief.

"You could've called us, at least. We were worried, man!" the shorter boy, Sora, continued.

"You know Shinji doesn't have a cell phone," Ryuga said flatly.

"Wait, you were on the phone when we saw you at the station," Sora turned back to the accused.

Shinji shook his head, "That was Mr. Grant's. I have to give it back to him."

"Who's Mr. Grant?" asked Asuka as she came around a clothing rack sporting a bright blue ski jacket. While she waited for Shinji's answer, the girl watched herself in the mirror and spun around, admiring the garment.

"He's my cello teacher."

"I didn't know you played," Asuka commented, swapping the blue coat for a light red one.

"I'm not very good at it," replied Shinji, his attention shifting to his friends' gaping mouths. "Hey, are you guys okay?"

Ryuga was the first to respond, still staring at Asuka, "She- she's like an angel..."

"She's so beautiful," Sora agreed, still watching her as she tried on a white coat. "And she talked to Ikari..."

"Which is your favorite, Shinji?" Asuka asked, now wearing a purple version.

"My- my favorite? I like them all," he answered, unconvincingly.

Annoyed, Asuka lightly smacked him on top of his head with the sleeve of a jacket she wasn't wearing, "That doesn't help, you dope: I can't decide between the white or the blue."

Shinji watched his girlfriend model the final two options, starting with the blue, "That one looks nice. I like it, it matches your eyes. Let me see the white."

"I'll have to ask for a bigger size. You Japanese have a different interpretation of 'small'. This one makes me feel as if I'm being swallowed alive," Asuka commented, struggling to zip up the tight white coat.

Inexplicably, a wave of nausea and anxiety overtook the boy, forcing him to double over and cover his mouth. A sweet, coppery scent briefly filled the air, vanishing as quickly as it had arrived. After the feeling passed, Shinji looked up and saw that neither Asuka, nor Ryuga and Sora caught the reaction. His eyes darted around, searching for the origin of the scent, but, like a fleeting dream, it was gone, leaving only one strange, foreign thought behind:

_Blood._

Ignoring the thought, Shinji shakily answered, "I- I like the blue on you..."

Asuka turned back to the boy, noticing his oddly pale expression, and quickly dropped the coat to dash over, kneeling next to him, "Hey, Shinji, are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry," the boy apologized. "I just felt like I was gonna throw up. I'm better now."

"You better be better, you had me worried. I've got big plans for tomorrow!"

"Shinji, what's the meaning of this?" Sora finally asked, having stood in awe this entire time.

"What's the meaning of what?"

"This! You! And her! And you _and_ her?! How?!"

Asuka giggled and stood up tall, reaching out for a handshake: "You must be asking about me. I'm Asuka. I'm Shinji's girlfriend."

"'G- g- g- g- girlfriend'?!" the confused boys repeated in chorus.

Shinji smiled from his seated position, "Yeah, we met at Myojo Academy. We'll both be going there. So, now you know everything."

Asuka blushed and looked away as he spoke.

"We knew you were gonna get in," said Ryuga. " _That_ part was obvious. But getting a girlfriend? I've gotta be dreaming."

"Yeah, I didn't even think it was possible. Well, good for you, man. You deserve happiness," Sora remarked. "Especially after-"

"Shut up, Sora!" Ryuga interrupted, smacking his shorter friend on the head.

"Oh, sorry!"

Shinji shook his head, "I'm fine, guys, don't worry about it. We'll catch up some time later this week."

Both boys agreed and said their goodbyes, before leaving the shop.

"They seemed nice," Asuka commented.

"They are nice. I think Ryu had a crush on Rei, so they were around a lot, especially last year."

"Makes sense. Changing subjects, have you ever been skiing?"

Shinji looked up in surprise, unsure if he misheard the girl, "What?"

"I want to take you skiing," Asuka repeated, putting the coats she decided against back on their hangers. "It'd be nice to go do something together, and I think we could find time to talk."

"You know how to ski?" he asked.

"Yeah," Asuka chuckled and rolled her eyes, "You know that old stereotype about wealthy people skiing?"

Shinji nodded.

"It's actually true. I've been skiing for most of my life. Plus," she blushed, "it'd be our first actual, you know, _date_."

"A 'date'?" he repeated, eyes growing wide.

"Yeah, dummy. A date."

The boy returned the blush, and looked away, though he was unable to hide his uncontrollable grin, "Ok, it, uh, it's a date. But where are we gonna go?"

"I found a place called 'Fujiten Snow Resort'. It's less than an hour away; I've already got it planned out," Asuka waved her phone confidently.

"But how are we gonna get there?"

"What did I tell you about thinking, dumme Nuss? Leave that to me."

* * *

" _I hate skiing."_

" _Kaworu," Asuka sighed, putting the last of her clothes in her suitcase. "Why do you hate skiing?"_

" _It's cold. And there are too many people," the young boy shrugged. "Why can't I just stay home?"_

" _Because I'm getting good at it, and I want to show you. So, do it for me?"_

" _Do I have to?"_

" _Pleeeeease!" the redheaded twin put on her biggest smile._

_Kaworu exhaled, and turned to exit his sister's room, "You're relentless."_

_"Absolutely, I am."_

_"Fine. But only because it's you..."_

* * *

"Wow, Asuka, that was a lot of fun!" Shinji remarked, sitting down at a quiet booth in the ski lodge. "I've never done anything like that before."

The young couple had spent most of the afternoon together on the gentle slopes of Japan's most iconic mountain. Dozens of slips and falls later, they eventually retired to the warmth of the ski lodge, choosing a somewhat isolated table in the far corner. Shinji could barely hide his massive smile the entire time: skiing was always something his friends would talk about doing, but he'd never gone for one reason or another, and now he found himself under the tutelage of his brilliant, beautiful, foreign girlfriend.

The redhead returned the smile, pulling her beanie off and running her fingers through her hair, "You weren't horrible, Shinji. You make a pretty good student."

"You're a pretty good teacher," he complimented, watching her untangle her fiery locks.

As she finished grooming herself, Asuka put a serious face on and pulled her hot cup of coffee close to her, "Well, Shinji, this is as good a time as any: if we want to get to the bottom of this, it's time we talked."

Shinji felt his body shudder, his fists clenching uncontrollably at the no longer suppressed thought of reliving everything, "'Talked'?"

"There can't be any secrets between us. It's the only way," Asuka pulled the SDAT player out of her purse and set it on the table, "to figure any of this out."

Shinji's eyes were drawn to the mysterious object. One month ago, it was just a normal cassette player; now it was the subject of some deep, dark mystery. He nodded in agreement, "No secrets?"

"Nein."

"Ok," he exhaled, asking a question despite already knowing the answer, "Who's going first...?"

Icy blue eyes pierced his own, the serious gaze silently deciding for him.

"Okay, okay. But, you still have to tell me everything, too."

"Naturally."

Shinji momentarily closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and started as far back as he could: "My mother is Yui Ikari, you've met her. She's a family doctor, one of the few in the Yamanashi Prefecture. She met my father, Gendo, in med school, before he dropped out. He went on to be a researcher at the University of Yamanashi, pioneering some new field of science.

"I was born June 6, 2001, and Rei was born 10 minutes later. We've been in Otsuki our entire lives, as far as I can remember..."

"As far as you can remember?" Asuka questioned suspiciously.

Shinji rubbed his temple, "I, uh... it's gonna sound weird."

The girl reached across the table and took his free hand, her thumb gliding over his fingers comfortingly, "It's okay."

"I, " Shinji sighed, "I can't really remember much. Some small glimpses here and there, but they all have to do with my family. I can't remember anything specific until..."

"Until last Sunday?"

"'Until last Sunday'," Shinji repeated, looking up into his girlfriend's eyes. "Yeah..."

"It's the same for me. The only specific memories I have have to do with Kaworu, or my father, or my mother, or _Camille_ ," she put extra venom on the last name.

"Who's that?"

"We'll get to that. Continue, please."

"Ok, ok. Well, when was it? Probably November or December. Rei collapsed during a viola lesson. We were both at Mr. Grant's house when she just collapsed, scaring the both of us. We called my mother and she met us in the emergency room," Shinji sighed before continuing. "The doctors said there was something weird in her brain, something they couldn't handle, so Mother and Rei went to Tokyo to see a specialist.

"When they came home a few days later, everything changed. My parents started arguing, a lot. I was scared: I'd never been without her, and she was saying she was going to be gone soon. I thought she meant, like, hospital visits or stuff… I never thought she was preparing me for her death."

* * *

" _You won't even give me a chance!" Gendo yelled, pounding his fist on the table._

" _I am_ not _letting the crackpots in your bullshit science department look at Rei!" Yui countered, aggressively washing the dishes._

"' _Bullshit science department'? The artificial evolution lab- The, the advances we've made-"_

" _Gendo! She needs a_ real _oncologist, she needs_ real _medicine..."_

" _Yui, I can save her!"_

_A plate slammed onto the counter, "_ No one _can save her! I've read the studies..."_

" _Yui..."_

" _Shinji, please leave them be," Rei's soft voice beckoned the young boy from the doorframe, out of sight of the argument in the kitchen._

" _Rei..."_

" _Come. Play something for me."_

* * *

"Last April, her doctor told her she'd have about six months to live, but she was permanently hospitalized a month later. I'd come see her every day after school, and we'd just talk, or listen to music, or she'd help me with my homework; she was always the smarter one."

Asuka saw that Shinji's eyes were wet as he picked the SDAT player off of the table, turning it over in his hands, "My mother gave this to me a long time ago, but when Rei was in the hospital, I gave it to her for our birthday. She didn't want it, but I told her I wanted her to have it, to listen to when I wasn't around. My mother wouldn't let me skip school to stay with her.

"Mother and I had spent all weekend making a perfect tape for her, something to bring her comfort. So, it was the perfect gift. It had lots of music from our childhood, and stuff she liked: Beethoven, Sinatra, some modern Japanese stuff."

* * *

" _Shinji, I can't accept this."_

" _Please," he begged. "I don't want you to be lonely. Mom and I, we- we put a lot of songs on there that you'd like. Something for you, something for each of us."_

_Rei slowly pushed the opened package back towards her brother, "You love this more than you love the cello. I can't."_

_Eyes wide, Shinji stood up tall and mustered as much courage as he could, "If you don't, I won't go to the Myojo exam."_

" _You promised me you'd go when we signed you up!"_

" _No, Rei, I promised we'd go together!"_

_The youngest Ikari twin looked back down at the gift box in her hands as a solitary tear fell from her eye, "That was never going to happen..."_

" _Rei..."_

_Gently unwrapping the earphone cables, Rei Ikari looked at her closest relation and smiled faintly, more tears spilling over her pale cheeks, "Show me how to use it, please."_

* * *

"A few weeks before she died, Rei had a seizure and dropped it, which is why the tape is jammed in it. _That's_ how I know something is weird about the new music: it can't be removed. I tried, but prying it open risks pulling the entire thing apart. I grew used to the tape after that."

Shinji continued to fidget with the player, turning it over and brushing the faded "Ikari" engraved on the backplate with his thumb, "Anyway, after Rei died, my father just disappeared for a few days. Mother and I were left to plan the funeral ourselves, which never would've happened if it weren't for the Horaki's help. The day of the funeral, Father showed up drunk and belligerent, shouting at everyone. And then he left. No one's seen or heard from him since."

Asuka stifled a half-hearted chuckle, mumbling, "At least I'm not the only one with a father complex..."

"What?" Shinji asked.

"Nothing, nothing," she dismissed with a wave, but Shinji pressed on.

"No, that's about it for me, so tell me what you said."

"It was a joke, I didn't mean it."

Shinji gave the girl a look, and was about to let the subject change, but she confessed anyway:

"I said 'At least I'm not the only one with a father complex'. My father… he's a real piece of work, too." Asuka shivered uncomfortably in her seat before continuing. "I'll start from the beginning:

"Kaworu and I were born on December 4, 2001. Something happened during it, and we were both delivered via c-section, so technically neither of us were the 'older' sibling.

"Kaworu was... how do I put it?" Asuka looked away, "Different. He was quiet and mostly kept to himself. Very curious, but avoided social interactions and everything. It seemed like I was the only person he was ever really interested in, so I took it on myself to protect him. I was always there to protect him."

* * *

" _Asuka?"_

" _Yes, Kaworu?" the young girl replied, looking up from her book._

" _Why do I always feel so lonely...?"_

_Asuka set her book down and walked over to comfort her brother, "I'm right here. And Mama and Papa are downstairs. How could you possibly feel lonely?"_

_The albino boy continued to stare out the window, "I feel like I'm doing all of this for one person, who I haven't even met yet..."_

" _You're too young to be thinking about your soul mate, don't you think?" Asuka giggled, settling down next to the boy, resting her head on his shoulder. "Besides,_ I _have to approve of this soul mate, and you know how hard that'll be."_

_Kaworu chuckled, "I'm not too worried about that."_

* * *

Shinji reached across the table, setting the SDAT player aside, and took the girl's hand. Initially, Asuka flinched at the contact, but smiled through gentle tears as she held Shinji's hand, continuing her story.

"Our mother, Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu, was a brilliant scientist. She specialized in behavior and development, so Mama, she, she always took special time for Kaworu. She was patient with him and caring, and it made me so happy to see them be happy together.

"My father, David Langley, he-" a scowl formed on her pretty face and she squeezed her eyes shut, "Before the accident, he tried to bond with Kaworu, but he wasn't interested. And after Mama's accident, it was like my father _resented_ him. Like he blamed him for it."

As the German girl bared her soul, a faint noise could be heard emitting from the tiny earphone speakers wrapped around the SDAT. Shinji was the first to notice, quietly grabbing the player and bringing the wound package close to his ear, unnoticed by Asuka who spoke with her eyes closed, tears still rolling down her face.

"Kaworu didn't mean it, he was so young. How could you blame him?"

A brief silence fell between the two, and Shinji realized the sound on the player had stopped. It was already incredibly faint, but once Asuka stopped speaking, he was sure nothing more was playing.

Not wanting to ignore neither the SDAT or his girlfriend's feelings, Shinji asked, "What happened?"

"We were- we were walking home from the zoo," Asuka spoke softly, her voice becoming breathy and cold, "and Kaworu dropped something. A stuffed monkey, I think. We were 11. And, Kaworu ran into the street to grab it. And Mama, she- she leapt into the street to stop him."

The tears began to stream down Asuka's cheeks at an increased rate, her eyes still shut tight, her body clenched, as if she were bracing herself for impact, "A car had swerved to miss Kaworu, but struck Mama. I remember standing there on the sidewalk, watching my Mama almost die."

"She didn't die?" questioned Shinji, listening as the faint noise from the tiny earphone continued.

Finally, Asuka's eyes opened. The whites had turned red, the usual radiant blues were cold and hollow, "Worse: severe brain damage. She completely forgot everyone _but_ me. Kaworu, my father, her friends and family. I was the only one she would talk to. It's like everything is completely normal between us, but with anyone else she was a broken mess."

"I don't know what to say..."

"I'm sorry, Shinji, can I take a break?"

"Of course, Asuka." Once again, as Asuka shut down, so, too, did the music on the player. As if it were being drawn out by something. Or someone.

* * *

"Danke," Asuka thanked Shinji as she sat back down at the table, putting her phone away. "I tried calling home again, but no answer."

"It's okay, I haven't had a chance to ask my mother about the trials or that banquet, either."

"I'm not too worried, we've got time."

"So, what happened to your mother?" Shinji started the conversation up again.

Asuka took a deep breath and braced herself as she continued the story: "Somehow, everyone was completely removed from her mind. It was hard to understand, especially at 11: everyone was talking to me, asking me to relay messages to her, to ask her how she was doing. It wore me out really fast, and so after almost a year of it, I started to avoid her. At one point, I didn't see her for a few months. I didn't go back until...

"Kaworu. Kaworu took it hard. He was already so withdrawn, so when even our Mama wouldn't speak to him, he shut down. We were so close until the accident, but after that he avoided me, too," Asuka sniffled again, wiping tears away with her free hand. "I felt like everyone lost my mama, but I lost my brother in the accident. And I couldn't protect him, not from himself after that..."

* * *

" _She warned me not to," Kaworu muttered, staring out the large window._

_Asuka looked up from her curled position, her knees drawn to her chest, "What?"_

_But her twin brother ignored her, still watching something on the horizon, "This pain: I brought this on myself. Why didn't I listen?"_

" _Kaworu..." the redheaded girl crawled towards her brother. "Don't say things like that. You didn't mean to hurt Mama..."_

_As Asuka reached out to touch his hand, the boy flinched and shot her a cold look, "You wouldn't understand."_

"I _wouldn't understand?! She's_ my _Mama, too!"_

_Suddenly Kaworu stood up, exiting the family room. Without making eye contact, he dryly spoke, "This is beyond you."_

_Enraged, Asuka spat back, "'Beyond' me?! Fuck you!"_

" _One day you'll understand. I'm sorry, Asuka..."_

* * *

"One day, out of the blue, Kaworu just announced that something was wrong. He wasn't feeling right and we needed to see a doctor. He was always so matter-of-fact, so I knew it was serious. Within a week he was diagnosed with MPNST, and _I_ had to be the one to break the news to Mama."

Asuka's sobs were louder, and she released Shinji's hand to grab a napkin and blow her nose into it, "It was the first time I'd seen her in months. I'll never forget what she said:

"'Good. That boy doesn't belong here.'"

With those words, Asuka was again quiet. The only noise being the regular ambiance of a busy ski lodge. Plates being collected, hot drinks poured and sipped, the occasional laughter of a good story told to a group. Even the warm fires flickering in the stone fireplaces could be heard over the sheer nothingness coming from Shinji Ikari.

What was there to say? How could he comfort her any more than by holding her hand? Shinji wanted nothing more than to take Asuka's pain, to sweep her off of her feet and rescue from the fire-breathing dragon of her past, but he knew he wasn't living in a fairytale. There was no changing it; all there was to do was to move forward.

After a few minutes, Asuka reached back out and took Shinji's still open hand on the table: "I never told Kaworu what she said. But he never came to see her, not until the day before he died. He asked me to wait outside the room, and that was it. I don't know what they talked about, but ever since then, Mama broke completely. She didn't even recognize me after that."

"As-"

"I still visit her," she continued, ignoring his interruption. "I feel like it's my duty. I'm the only one that does. She's completely catatonic: laying on her back, emptily staring at the ceiling.

"And my father..." Asuka's grip on Shinji's hand tightened, nails beginning to dig into his palm, "das Schwein... He never forgave Kaworu, it seemed. He buried himself in work, starting the Langley Foundation. He put everything he could into head trauma research, and he actually made several key advancements in the field.

"But he could never fix Mama. And every time he looked at Kaworu, you could see the sadness and anger in his eyes."

Asuka paused again, turning to look outside the window at the snowy mountain, "When Kaworu got sick, Father... he started networking. That's when he and Kaworu went to the MPNST banquet. It was put on by some French cancer research institute, I can't remember the name. He worked with them for a couple months, and I thought it was _for_ Kaworu. But it wasn't: it was for Camille."

"Camille?" Shinji was trying to keep up with the deluge of information.

"My _step-mother_ ," the girl replied with a growl. "She was a junior researcher at the institute, and was assigned to Kaworu's case. I found it odd that Father would go 'to help', almost weekly, without Kaworu. But when he brought her home, I understood. I understood everything.

"And that's just about it..."

The couple sat in silence, occasionally sipping on their now cold mugs of coffee. They'd bared their souls to each other, told their stories. All that was left was figure out where to move forward, and how the SDAT player tied into it all.

After a few moments, Asuka excused herself to the restroom to wash up, leaving Shinji to inspect the mysterious object on the table. He partially unwound the earphones and put them in, hoping to hear something new, but the player refused to play. Frustrated, Shinji shook the device: it had never failed him before. Now it wouldn't even play the new songs.

Shinji removed the earphone when the waiter arrived with their meals, Asuka following shortly after. Dinner was quiet. Their wounds were too fresh, torn open in front of each other, to be discussed any more. Instead they simply enjoyed each other's company, something neither teen was aware of how much they needed.

Asuka called a cab to take them back to Otsuki after dinner. As the two stood in the foyer of the ski lodge, hand in hand, she nervously spoke up, "Shinji, there's one more thing I wanted to tell you."

"Oh? Go ahead."

Sensing her fear, Shinji gave the girl a few moments as she collected herself, "It's about My-"

But a ringing phone interrupted her.

"Hang on, it's home," Asuka paused the conversation, reading the screen and accepting the call. "Hallo? Hallo. Guten tag..."

Shinji watched as Asuka took her conversation around the corner. He considered listening in for a moment, but decided to give her some privacy. Almost ten minutes had passed before Asuka returned, finishing her call with a bright, "Auf Wiedersehen!"

"Was that your father?" Shinji asked.

The German girl's cheery disposition faded, and she hung her head slightly, "No. It was Camille. She said my father's flying back from some conference in America, but he'd call me tomorrow."

"It's no big deal, Asuka. We've got time."

"Yeah, I guess..."

Sitting in the backseat of the cab, the two held hands, occasionally squeezing tightly, as if to remind them that this was in fact happening. Both of them again attempted to start up a conversation, but few topics seemed pressing enough to interrupt their moment together, until Shinji began.

"You don't seem to get along with your step-mother."

Asuka exhaled dramatically, "It's not that we _don't_ get along. She's nice enough, I guess. She's only 10 years older than me, though, and my father's 49. So, you can see how that rubs me the wrong way. Plus, he never _really_ divorced Mama: she couldn't sign off on it. So, he went through some legal proceeding to get it done, so he could marry Camille three months later."

"Did you tell her anything about Myojo? Or Japan? Or," Shinji gulped, "me?"

The redhead visibly cringed at the question, clearly avoiding something, "... no... I couldn't..."

"Why not?"

"It's not like I hate her or anything. I just... don't feel comfortable..." Immediately Asuka's eyes opened wide, "Why do I have to tell _you_ any of this?! _Stupid!_ "

Aghast, Shinji refused to release his girlfriend's hand as she pulled away from, "Asuka, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to press."

Eventually the girl gave up trying to separate, but she continued to stare out the cab window, "She's pregnant."

"What?"

"When Pa- _my father_ married Camille, I felt like he was betraying Mama; replacing her. And now she's pregnant, and I feel like _I'm_ being replaced."

"I'm sorry. That sounds terrible," Shinji consoled her.

"It's okay. I'm glad I got that out," Asuka wore a small smile when she looked back at her boyfriend. "I've been bottling everything up for so long. I'm glad you're here... to listen to my feelings."

Immediately, the SDAT player began rewinding itself in Shinji's lap until it loudly clicked.

"What?" they both asked, peering down at the mysterious object.

"Did you do that?" Asuka asked.

Shinji raised their joined hands, "I've been holding your hand the entire time. And I've got the leftovers in this one," he said as he waved the styrofoam container.

Asuka released Shinji's hand and picked up the music player out of his lap, staring at it curiously. "Do you think...?"

"Maybe," the boy shrugged.

Carefully unrolling the earphones, Asuka handled the package like it was a bomb, set to go off at any moment. She handed Shinji the other earphone, and they both inserted them at the same time.

The nervous redhead inhaled deeply and pressed PLAY:

**I thought of angels  
** **Choking on their halos  
** **Get them drunk on rose water  
** **See how dirty I can get them  
** **Pulling out their fragile teeth  
** **And clip their tiny wings**

**Anything you say can and will be held against you  
** **So only say my name: it will be held against you  
** **Anything you say can and will be held against you  
** **So only say my name**

**If heaven's grief brings hell's rain  
** **Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday  
** **(I know I'm bad news)  
** **For just one yesterday  
** **(I saved it all for you)  
** **I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way  
** **Still, I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday  
** **(I know I'm bad news)  
** **For just one yesterday  
** **(I saved it all for you)  
** **For just one yesterday**

**Letting people down is my thing, baby  
** **Find yourself a new gig  
** **This town ain't big enough for two of us  
** **I don't have the right name  
** **Or the right looks  
** **But I have twice the heart**

**Anything you say can and will be held against you  
** **So only say my name: it will be held against you  
** **Anything you say can and will be held against you  
** **So only say my name**

**If heaven's grief brings hell's rain  
** **Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday  
** **(I know I'm bad news)  
** **For just one yesterday  
** **(I saved it all for you)  
** **I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way  
** **Still, I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday  
** **(I know I'm bad news)  
** **For just one yesterday  
** **(I saved it all for you)  
** **For just one yesterday**

**If I spilled my guts  
** **The world would never look at you the same way  
** **And I'm here to give you all of my love  
** **So I can watch your face as I take it all away**

**If heaven's grief brings hell's rain  
** **Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday  
** **(I know I'm bad news)  
** **For just one yesterday  
** **(I saved it all for you)  
** **I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way  
** **Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday  
** **I know I'm bad news  
** **For just one yesterday  
** **I saved it all for you  
** **For just one yesterday**

* * *

Song: "Just One Yesterday" by Fall Out Boy (feat. Foxes)


	7. Don't Be Afraid, Don't Turn Away

"Come _on_. It's been three weeks, Shinji!"

Ignoring his girlfriend's pleas, Shinji cleared the kitchen table and took the dishes to the sink. Asuka had originally propositioned him shortly after their date on Mt. Fuji, but she'd become relentless the last week or so. Personally, he was excited and interested in the prospect, but culture and tradition dictated that he should stand his ground. At least according to both heads of their houses, it was improper for him to even consider it.

Asuka had cleared the rest of the table and joined Shinji at the sink. She stared at him, hands on her hips, chin confidently jutted out, "You need to convince your mothers to let me cook for everyone. It's ridiculous that neither will even let me _help_ in the kitchen, let alone cook a German meal!"

Shinji sighed as he continued to wash the plates, "Asuka, I don't know what to tell you: I'd love to try something German, but I'm not the one you have to convince."

"We're past that. _You_ need to talk to them."

A plate slipped from Shinji's soapy hands and clanged against the sink. He turned his head slowly, feeling the intensifying gaze of the fiery redhead, " _Me?_ "

It was an honest question, but the look on Asuka's face answered it before the word could even slip past his lips. The girl had a knack for rhetorical statements, and he still fell for them every time. It was reassuring that she found him so charming, considering she flustered Shinji in a way that many could consider annoying.

"Ja, Herr Einstein. _You._ "

"Why me?" he asked, once again immediately regretting it.

Asuka shrugged and smiled, "Because you're my boyfriend, and that means you have to do what I tell you to do."

Shinji sighed again, returning to the dishwashing, defeated. Even if he resisted, he was powerless against her charm: a few bats of those bright blue eyes could convince him to do just about anything, and Shinji had lost himself in those eyes enough.

"Besides," Asuka continued, turning and hopping to sit on the counter, "maybe this will, you know, trigger something new."

Another sigh followed by silence, aside from the sound of cups being washed. Shinji was concerned as well; he hadn't considered cooking could be the next trigger.

The last new song appeared on Mt. Fuji, coaxed out of thin air as each surviving twin told their stories. They'd listened to it several times on the ride back to Otsuki, but were too afraid to discuss the contents in the cab, unsure of how it would sound to the complete stranger driving them home.

Asuka and Shinji had taken down and analyzed the lyrics the following day, but it had now been several weeks since anything new had appeared, not without their trying. They had visited Shinji's school, Yui's family practice, and even Rei's grave together, but, as mysteriously as the songs had appeared, they simply stopped appearing.

"Maybe," Shinji finally broke the silence. "Are you that worried about it?"

The redhead began to swing her legs below her, mindlessly kicking them back and forth, her shoulders rolled into a semi-permanent shrug, "I don't know. It's just weird, don't you think? Six songs in, what, eight days? And then nothing for three weeks? I'm worried we're running out of time."

The last comment caught Shinji off guard, and the thought made him shudder: if what they were experiencing and predicting was, in fact, the end of the world, time may be against them. But neither teen understood what they were facing, still, so the best they could do was wildly speculate and make songs appear, but the latter was quite lacking.

"Do you really think we're running out of time?"

Shinji swore he caught a reaction of some sort from the girl, but she turned away before he could confirm.

"Shinji, I- I- never mind, I don't know," she deflected. "I'm just saying the sudden change in appearances is weird"

"Yeah, it is weird, but it's not like we've tried _everything_ ," Shinji commented absentmindedly, still focused on the dishes. He thought nothing of it until he felt a sharp slap upside his head. " _Ow!_ _What was that for?!"_

Shinji's bewildered cobalt eyes were met with a sapphire glare, the brilliant blue hidden between two slitted lids, "Keep your pants on, pervert: _t_ _hat_ ain't happening."

Immediately understanding his error, Shinji turned bright red, stammering, "Tha- that- that's not what I meant!"

"Sure."

"Really!" Shinji collected himself before continuing, "I meant school: we haven't attended school together, and we both _saw_ that in one of our... vision... things."

Asuka visibly cringed at the comment, unable to hide her reaction this time, "Yeah... that, uh, that makes sense. But I haven't cooked for you either."

"True," Shinji agreed as he began to dry and put the dishes away. "And that can happen sooner than Myojo."

"Precisely. And if it doesn't work, at least you'll still get to experience German cuisine."

The boy smiled. He'd shared so much of his life with Asuka in the last few weeks, but still knew relatively little about her. She was usually a vibrant conversationalist, but asking about her family or friends stifled their discussions on more than one occasion. She'd explained that there was nothing to hide beyond a home life she was trying to avoid, but Shinji often found himself concerned he was missing a piece of the puzzle.

"I have to admit, I never would've guessed you could cook," Shinji decided to change the subject.

"Why's that? Because I don't aspire to be a housewife?" Asuka had begun to assist in drying the dishes as well.

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I just, I don't know, you never brought up cooking as something you liked to do."

Asuka sighed, leaping off the counter and looking out the kitchen window to the clouded Otsuki sky, "It was the only thing the three of us did together. Mama loved to cook, and would have me and Kaworu help her all the time. Surprisingly, it was his favorite activity. I didn't care much for it, but he insisted I cook with him and Mama, so it became one of my favorite things..."

* * *

_"Asuka, it's time to make dinner."_

_The young girl rolled her eyes, returning her attention to her instrument. She shouldered the violin and began to play again, but a gentle hand grabbed hers._

_"Mother is waiting. Let's go," Kaworu spoke softly._

_"Why? I don't need to cook: I'll just marry someone that will cook for me."_

_The young boy chuckled, "I'm sure you will. But wouldn't it be special to cook something for him, too?"_

" _I'll show him this smile, and he'll forgive me for not cooking." After a few moments of silence,_ _Asuka could feel two red eyes boring into the back of her head and relented, setting her violin down, "Why do you keep pushing this cooking thing?"_

_Kaworu tried to suppress a grin, "Some girls need a fall back plan, in case their charm doesn't get the job done."_

_Asuka was speechless, her eyes darting around the room for something to hit her brother with. She settled for feigned indignation, standing up, chin to the sky, "Wow, rude."_

_The two smiled and left together, joining their mother in the kitchen._

* * *

After their conversation, Asuka excused herself to Hikari's room to call home. She checked in at least once a week, sometimes more often as her step-mother's pregnancy had recently entered the third trimester, and she was doing her best to stay involved from halfway across the world.

Having been politely kicked out of her own bedroom, Hikari joined Shinji in the kitchen, helping put the last of the dishes away with a grin on her face.

"You look happy."

Hikari's grin grew and her cheeks turned a bright red, "I, uh, don't know what you mean."

Shinji ignored the deflection, "So, how's Toji?"

"He's great: he's in Tokyo and-" she paused, her blush fully taking over, "I mean, I don't- oh forget it, how did you know?"

"We've been friends long enough, I think I can put two and two together."

Hikari turned around and rested against the counter, mindlessly petting her left pigtail, "He's in Tokyo for a basketball tournament this week. And I want to go see him, I just need an excuse."

"How about, 'Mom, my boyfriend's in Tokyo and I'd like to go get lunch with him'?" Shinji asked.

Still stroking her hair, the brunette rolled her eyes, "You know I can't just _say_ that."

"Why not?"

"Be- because. Just because!"

Shinji chuckled at his best friend's dilemma until a thought occurred: he could simply explain that the three of them need to go to Tokyo to pick up ingredients for a special meal, solving two problems at once.

Explaining the situation to Hikari was simple, it was convincing Yui and Teiko that they had a surprise dinner planned for them, led by Hikari, that took a bit more finesse. Eventually the women agreed to the meal and their excursion back to the big city. It was a stroke of genius that Asuka would have to be impressed by, Shinji thought to himself.

Gently knocking on Hikari's door, Shinji peeked in and was invited by hand gesture alone. Asuka was still speaking on her phone, but the tone was obvious enough she was attempting to wrap the call up.

"Ja, ja. Auf wiederhören Camille, auf wiederhören!"

"You're on: tomorrow night," Shinji spoke as soon as Asuka ended the call.

"Really? That was quick. How'd you convince-" She stopped when she spotted Hikari standing behind Shinji, quickly deducing what had occurred, "So, _Hikari_ is cooking, and I'm helping her?"

Shinji's mouth fell open, surprised that his ruse had been figured out so quickly, "How- how did you know?"

"Because I've been asking your mothers for _two weeks_ to cook for them, and they've said no every time. So, what changed?" she asked rhetorically before nodding in Hikari's direction.

Hikari giggled, walking past her perplexed best friend towards Asuka, "I'm sorry, Asuka. Our moms are really old school; this was the only way to convince them."

The redhead waved her hand dismissively and tried to hide her smile, "Yeah, yeah, it's no big deal."

"But, honestly," Hikari continued, "I'm here to help you: you're the chef, I'm just an assistant."

"Naturally. We're going German for this, so you'll have to follow my lead. I've got big ideas! I want to blow you guys away with some really great dishes!"

"Good, I can't wait," Shinji sat down in the desk chair in Hikari's room. "There is a catch, though: Toji's in Tokyo and Hikari wanted to visit him, so we put it together for tomorrow."

Asuka raised a red eyebrow in Hikari's direction, "Oh, I see."

The girl in question blushed again, waving her hands in front of her, "No, it's not like that. We don't have to see him! I just- I just thought, you know, if we were going to go to Tokyo, we might as well try and get lunch..."

"Not a problem," Asuka smiled, turning her phone back on. "Tell me where he'll be, and I'll find an import store near there."

"Why did I even doubt you?" Shinji asked.

"I _am_ amazing, aren't I?" she replied with a wink that melted Shinji's heart.

"So," he started, "what time should we head out tomorrow?"

Asuka forced a laugh, "' _We_ ' aren't going anywhere. Hikari and I can handle it just fine."

"What, why?" Shinji rebutted.

"Because it's not a surprise if you know what's happening, and because we've spent almost three weeks together and I want to hang out with Hikari for a day: we'll call it a girl's trip."

Hikari smiled bright, "I like this idea."

"Wait, what am I supposed to do?" the boy protested, clearly outnumbered.

"You'll figure something out."

* * *

"Shinji, it's great to see you again."

Hearing that voice brought an honest smile to his face, "Hi, Mr. Grant!"

The older Japanese man had been Shinji's closest confidant ever since Rei's diagnosis. It wasn't that Hikari or his other friends weren't capable of listening, it was more that Shinji was somehow completely vulnerable with a cello in his lap and a bow in his hand. There were still tear stains on the shoulder of the great instrument from the last half dozen lessons; he'd only played for ten of the sixty minutes, and found himself unable to do anything but cry the remaining time.

"Come on in, I've been waiting for you," Mr. Grant invited his pupil inside his modest apartment. There was a stool and music stand in the middle of the living room, with loose sheet music stacked on the coffee table.

Shinji entered and set his cello case by the stool, sighing as he snapped open the latches. It had been a month since he'd last touched the instrument, and while his mind was confident, his fingers were less than.

"I have to admit, I was a little disappointed we didn't have time to talk when you dropped my phone off, but I was very happy you scheduled a lesson today," the older gentleman smiled as he sat in an armchair across from the stool.

In between their New Year's shop visits a few weeks ago, Shinji found a moment to make the short walk to his instructor's apartment to return his phone. There was much to discuss at the time, but he didn't want to go missing for too long while Asuka was with Hikari and Nozomi, so he simply thanked the man for his gratitude with the open promise that they'd have a lesson again.

"Thank you again for lending me your phone. I didn't use it much, but my mother was relieved that I had one."

"No worries, most people call my house phone, so the cell phone mostly collects dust," Mr. Grant explained, changing the subject after a sip of coffee. "Well then, I imagine you didn't practice during your week in Tokyo."

"I- I actually did, for a little bit," Shinji defended himself; clearly his big city adventures had traveled as far as the local music teacher. He recalled the brief instrument-less session he had in his dorm room before Asuka arrived.

Masaru Grant raised a greying eyebrow, surprised at Shinji's response to the challenge, "Oh, you did?"

Nodding in the affirmative, the cellist sat down and pulled his instrument against him, "Yeah. I was... busy a lot of the time, but I did find at least 30 minutes to myself once."

"Good! Then let's skip the warmups and start with this," his instructor grinned as he leaned forward and dropped a yellowed sheet of paper on the stand.

Shinji's eyes immediately widened: he was incredibly familiar with this aging, heavily marked up page. A big arrow was drawn at a hand-written rehearsal mark: " _Mm. 544! Don't fall behind!_ " and the " _ff_ " was circled several times. At this section in the music it looked as if there was more black than white on the paper.

"This is what separates the men from the boys, Shinji," Mr. Grant chuckled as he sipped from his mug. "Sometimes there's value in just jumping in the deep end."

The section was famously difficult; Beethoven wouldn't have written it any other way. The fourth movement of Symphony no. 9 was over halfway through the hour-long piece, and the hardest section found itself 50 minutes in, with another ten minutes still remaining.

Shinji closed his eyes, took a deep, calming breath, gritted his teeth, and began.

Commonly known as the "woodshed section" within string groups, the 52-bars of _Presto_ was a rite of passage for string players due to its significant needs. "Taking it out to the woodshed" and not returning for hours was not an uncommon practice when tackling Beethoven's finest accomplishment.

"Again."

Knowing it was sloppy and slightly under tempo, Shinji took another deep breath and started the section over, as instructed. This process repeated three more times, with Mr. Grant saying nothing but the solitary word between each performance.

Sweat beaded on Shinji's furrowed brow, and as he concentrated more and more the mistakes began to pile up, eventually causing the older man to interrupt him, "What do you think I'm going to say?"

Shinji's shoulders slumped, his chest heaving: Beethoven had bested him again. He responded quietly, "'You can do better'."

"You seem distracted," said Masaru, sipping from his mug.

A bolt of lightning ran down Shinji's spine: 'distracted'. The word haunted him as he'd heard it several times in the last month, from his mother, Hikari, and now Mr. Grant. Usually quite focused and confident, it was a strange sensation for Shinji to feel so lost and confused. So many had easily picked up on his recent mindset that he worried the musical mystery would be uncovered.

And what then? Would anyone believe him? Would he and Asuka be separated? Would the SDAT player be confiscated by authorities or scientists? It all felt illogical, but so, too, did the reality he was experiencing.

Unsure of how much he could say without sounding insane, a few words slipped out of Shinji's mouth before he could stop them, "Well, there's this girl-"

Eyes suddenly wide, the grey and black haired senior leaned forward in his chair, "Then play for her."

"What?"

"Imagine she was here and play for her."

Shinji considered the prospect for a moment before raising the bow back up to his instrument. He again closed his eyes and took a deep breath, now picturing Asuka sitting on the couch across from him, ankles crossed, hands in her lap, anticipating his music. Unable to hide the slight smile that crept from the corners of his mouth, Shinji kept his eyes closed as he began.

He'd seen the notes hundreds of times, and could mostly play it from memory by now, but somehow the thought of performing for the beautiful redhead allowed him to feel the music flow through him. His digits flew across the fingerboard, constantly in motion, while his right hand bowed in perfect precision.

Halfway through, Masaru Grant began to quietly sing the melody over Shinji's playing, "Deine Zauber binden wieder was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt!"

Once the section came to an end, Shinji opened his eyes, slightly saddened to see Asuka wasn't actually there. While the illusion faded, the smile did not, and his teacher was quick to pick up on it.

"Tell me about her."

"What? Who?" Shinji blushed, looking away. He started to pull some more sheet music out of his case when he was interrupted.

A gentle, wrinkled hand reached out and wordlessly padded the air downwards, signaling for Shinji to put his music back, "I think we're done for today, Shinji. It's been quite some time since we've been able to talk, and clearly there's been quite a development. Please, tell me."

"It's- it's not that big of a deal," the flustered young man continued to blush.

"Shinji, that was, without a doubt, the best performance of that section you've ever had. It was brisk, it was light, it was powerful, it was accurate. Clearly you were performing for _someone_ ," the older man smiled.

Unconsciously, the boy found himself glancing to his right, where Rei usually sat, viola in hand. It had been some time since they'd played together, and Shinji quickly felt the void in his heart.

But the instructor, too, caught the moment, and spoke to words Shinji was unaware he was waiting to hear: "Don't worry, Shinji. It's not as if you're replacing her. Nothing could ever replace your sister. I know it's hard to understand, but you are allowed to be happy again."

_Happy?_

Shinji was again comforted by his teacher's words. It was a regular occurrence in this apartment, in this room, behind this cello, but it was welcomed every time. "She's amazing, Mr. Grant."

* * *

"I'm home," Shinji offered softly, hefting his instrument through the doorway. After finding the apartment empty, he left and walked down the hall to the Horaki's.

The five foot walk between both front doors was one Shinji had made thousands of times. The apartments were identical, with only the layouts being mirrored, placing the entries closest to each other. However, the liveliness of the Horaki unit separated the two clearly in Shinji's mind. Unfortunately, his apartment was full of nothing but sorrow and grief for the last year, and he found himself at his neighbor's more and more often.

Shinji knocked on the door and waited, but after several minutes he presumed it was also currently unoccupied. Hikari and Asuka were likely still in Tokyo, finishing up their shopping after lunch with Toji, and Nozomi was likely at KoHiNo with her mother.

Back in his apartment, Shinji unzipped his cello bag and removed the instrument. It was the second most common method for passing time, second behind the SDAT player itself. But he felt strange about it now: the mystery and limited track selection wore the novelty off quite quickly.

Setting the music stand up in front of him, Shinji pulled Boccherini's "Sonata for Viola and Cello in C Minor" and placed it on the stand. It was one of the relatively few cello and viola duets written, and had been the last piece he and Rei worked on together.

He barely made it a few bars into the piece before he found himself unable to continue, the tears blurring his vision enough to prevent him from reading the music. Alone in the apartment, Shinji allowed the sadness to wash over him for a bit. Tears streamed down his cheeks and landed on the shoulder of the cello, splashing and rewetting the older, dried tears from previous sessions.

After a few minutes of solitary grief, Shinji smiled and started over, filling the empty apartment with the resonant vibrations of the somber instrument. Familiar enough with the piece, he could almost hear Rei's viola accompaniment next to him. She would furrow her brow in intense focus, looking as if she were commanding the notes be played with her piercing gaze alone.

Ten minutes later, the piece was finished. The tears had slowed, leaving a few solitary streaks on Shinji's cheek, as he lifted his bow from the strings to applause.

_Applause?_

Shinji turned back to see Asuka standing near the entry. She was smiling and clapping softly, and began to compliment the musician.

"That was very nice, Shinji. I didn't know you played."

His once wet cheeks now burned bright red, the heat seemingly vaporising whatever trace tears remained. Embarrassed for both his performance and his current state, he turned away, wiping his face with his arm, "I started when I was five, but I'm still not very good."

"No, I mean it. I've played with some truly awful cellists back in Germany, so trust me," Asuka smiled confidently as she approached Shinji.

"I didn't know you played," Shinji ignored the compliment.

"I wanted to play piano, like Mama, and Kaworu and I played _a little_ , but he insisted we take violin together," the redhead explained, sitting down on the couch. "He was the better pianist, but I was the better violinist."

"Maybe we'll play together one day," Shinji smiled, standing up and turning to his audience.

But Asuka shifted forward on the couch, gesturing for Shinji to sit back down, "No, no, please don't be done. I mean it: play for me."

"Asuka, I'm really not that good."

"Shinji, please. I want to hear you play."

He sighed and sat back down, "Since you're familiar with the instrument, do you have any requests?"

The redhead looked up, drumming her fingers on the couch, "I want to hear something happy."

"'Something happy'?" Shinji repeated, "On cello? It's not exactly a happy sounding instrument."

"There's a great piece, Wolk's Second. German composer, so you might not know it, but Kaworu would hum it from time to time. Look it up, it's a really beautiful, uplifting piece."

"I'll keep that in mind. Any other requests?"

Asuka shrugged, "Play your favorite."

_My favorite?_ Shinji thought as the words bounced around in his head. He'd played hundreds of pieces over the years, but very few would he consider his 'favorite'. Except for Bach.

"Okay, I can do that. It's nothing flashy, but Rei always loved hearing it," Shinji explained, picking his bow up.

He closed his eyes and let his fingers find the starting position, the bow resting gently against the strings. He hadn't played it since Rei had died, but hundreds of repetitions of what was a relatively simple piece had firmly embedded it into his mind.

Shinji took a deep breath and he began. Bach's "Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major: 1. Prelude" was an iconic solo cello piece, and it was the first piece of sheet music ever gifted to him by his sister. The two were so inextricably linked that even as he performed for his girlfriend, Rei's gentle smile lingered in his memory.

As his playing continued, Shinji's eyes cracked slightly. Expecting to see his beautiful girlfriend watching in amazement, he was shocked to see the redhead looking around the apartment with a mixture of fear, confusion, and excitement on her face.

"Shinji..." she began, standing up from the couch, "... where the hell are we...?"

No longer able to concentrate on the music, Shinji abruptly stopped, but the world they were in seemingly abruptly stopped as well, the vision quickly fading back into the Ikari's apartment in Otsuki.

"Wait, what the hell did you do?!" Asuka asked, turning back to the boy.

"What did _I_ do? What did _you_ do?!" Shinji fired back.

"No, really, we were in someone else's home. You saw that, right?"

"I... I think that's what I saw."

"So, where'd it go? Why did it stop?"

"I don't know," Shinji said, slouching against the back of the chair he was in.

"Wait-"

He looked up again, hoping to see something, but it was still his apartment.

"You stopped playing."

"Well, yeah..." Shinji shrugged, "What else was I supposed to do?"

"Was it-"

Both of their eyes opened wide in realization.

"Shinji, start playing again."

Smiling in agreement, Shinji put the bow back to the strings and began mindlessly playing notes. Bouncing between nursery rhymes and scales, Shinji played the most basic of things, trying to keep his focus on their surroundings. But nothing happened.

"What are you doing? Stop messing around and play."

"I am," he fired back, thoughtlessly scratching random notes across the instrument.

"No, actually play," Asuka turned back to Shinji and sat down. "Play the Bach Prelude again."

Shinji nodded and restarted the piece, eyes open and doing his best to keep half of his mind focused on their surroundings. But, as before, nothing happened. The moment was gone, it seemed.

"Stop looking around for it to happen, dummkopf."

"That's easy for you to say, Asuka."

"Shinji," Asuka spoke softly but directly. "Don't worry about the apartment: play for me."

* * *

_"Shinji, please leave them be," Rei's soft voice beckoned the young boy from the doorframe, out of sight of the argument in the kitchen._

_"Rei..."_

_"Come. Play something for me."_

_The blue haired girl had pulled Shinji to his room, sitting down on his bed and gesturing towards the cello that stood in the corner. She had already set the sheet music on the stand, and waited patiently for her brother._

"' _Prelude' again?" he read the title of the music. The voices in the kitchen grew louder for a moment, Yui's fears and frustrations flowing throughout the apartment. But Rei quickly interrupted._

" _Shinji," she spoke softly but directly. "Don't worry about them: play for me."_

* * *

Shinji's eyes opened wide, an incredible feeling of déjà vu washing over him. Despite the strange sensation, Shinji felt calmed by it, and he raised his bow back to the strings. Horsehair gently rested against wound metal, and sapphire was greeted by cobalt.

He closed his eyes and started over again, remembering the times he would play for himself and his sister. Bach's Prelude had drowned out dozens or parental disputes, and even more of Shinji's own tearful crying sessions.

And now he was playing for Asuka, inviting her to see and hear a part of Shinji that meant more than he had understood. The sympathetic tears slowly formed in the corners of his eyes, and Shinji was forced to blink them away, unable to wipe them with either hand.

However, during the blinks, Shinji caught a sight of his apartment. Except it wasn't his apartment: the layout was changed, significantly. Instead of sitting in the living room facing a window, he found himself in a dining room, facing an orange-lit living room through a doorway. There was a refrigerator to his right, where Asuka was once sitting on the couch.

Continuing the piece, Shinji craned his neck to see Asuka standing in the kitchen where the Ikari's dining room should be located. She delicately stepped around the room, scanning the strange apartment in awe, and eventually stood behind Shinji, looking past the kitchen table to a bathroom.

Asuka spun around in place, taking in the foreign apartment, before halting and rushing up directly behind Shinji. She placed her hands on the back of the chair he was in and leaned forward, her chest pushing Shinji's head and upper body forward.

"Is that- is that the balcony...?"

Shinji turned his attention straight ahead, back through the orange room. Clear skies offered no concealment for a setting sun as the bright star hung in the sky, bathing everything in its sight in the warm glow. Having spent his entire childhood in the mountain town, he was confident there was no possible way the sun could be pouring into any such window from that angle: there were mountains surrounding Otsuki on all sides.

The excited redhead rushed past Shinji, bumping his right arm and causing a horrific screech across the strings. As the music came to a jarring halt, so, too, did the foreign location. Everything quickly faded back to normal and Asuka stood before the original window, hand outstretched for a sliding door that was no longer there.

Turning back to Shinji, Asuka's eyes were wide, "Shinji: that was the balcony! From the cafeteria!"

Gently resting the cello on it's side, Shinji stood up and approached the girl, heading to where the balcony was once located, "Are you sure?"

"Yes! I saw it! It _has_ to be it!"

Shinji was unable to refute the thought. He'd seen the balcony as well, but was more focused on the scenery beyond it to relate it to the one he had experienced in the Myojo cafeteria. But Asuka was sure enough about it, and the wide grin spread across her face confirmed it in Shinji's mind.

"The SDAT!" Asuka shouted as if the idea would disappear had she not frightened it in place. The girl raced past Shinji, skidding beyond the living room and sliding to the door frame, her socks offering little grip on the wood flooring.

"Asuka, don't go into my-" It was one of the few secrets Shinji had: there was nothing in particular he wished to hide, but the general state of the room wasn't his proudest. Shinji did his best to keep the apartment neat and tidy, a habit instilled in him by his twin sister, but his own bedroom was often neglected. Unfortunately, Asuka had already entered, retrieved, and returned before he could even finish his sentence. The last word simply fell out of his mouth, deflated, "-room..."

Holding the package in her hands, Asuka's expression had changed significantly. Maybe there wasn't a new song, despite the vision.

"So, your room is a mess... " she spoke softly, "... and you should put your underwear in a basket."

"Hey!" Shinji shouted, blushing bright enough to match the girl's hair.

Her face was equally flushed, but the coloring faded as her smile returned, "I'm just teasing you. But I did find this."

Shinji watched as Asuka held the SDAT up, the LCD display facing forward. He couldn't see it from where he was standing, but as he approached her it read as clear as possible: "07".

As the realization settled, Asuka began to unwrap the earphones, walking back to the kitchen table, "Come on. And bring the notebook."

Shaking his head to snap back to reality, Shinji retrieved his notebook and a pencil from his bedroom, taking a brief mental snapshot of what Asuka likely saw when she entered. _It_ is _a mess..._

The two sat down at the table, both expressing their nerves and excitement in contrasting ways. Shinji's hand trembled as he opened the notebook to a fresh page, while Asuka's legs bounced in anticipation, holding out the other earphone for her partner to take.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

And Asuka pressed PLAY:

**Like an unsung melody  
** **The truth is waiting there for you to find it  
** **It's not a blight, but a remedy  
** **A clear reminder of how it began**

**Deep inside your memory  
** **Turned away as you struggled to find it**

**You heard the call as you walked away  
** **A voice of calm from within the silence  
** **And for what seemed an eternity  
** **You're waiting, hoping it would call out again**

**You heard the shadow reckoning  
** **Then your fears seemed to keep you blinded  
** **You held your guard as you walked away**

**When you think all is forsaken  
** **Listen to me now  
** **You need never feel broken again  
** **Sometimes darkness can show you the light**

**An unforgivable tragedy  
** **The answer isn't where you think you'd find it  
** **Prepare yourself for the reckoning  
** **For when your world seems to crumble again**

**Don't be afraid, don't turn away  
** **You're the one who can redefine it**

**Don't let hope become a memory  
** **Let the shadow permeate your mind and  
** **Reveal the thoughts that were tucked away  
** **So that the door can be opened again**

**Within your darkest memories  
** **Lies the answer if you dare to find it  
** **Don't let hope become a memory**

**When you think all is forsaken  
** **Listen to me now  
** **You need never feel broken again  
** **Sometimes darkness can show you the light**

**Sickening, weakening  
** **Don't let another somber pariah consume your soul  
** **You need strengthening, toughening  
** **It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you  
** **Ignite the fire within you**

**When you think all is forsaken  
** **Listen to me now  
** **You need never feel broken again  
** **Sometimes darkness can show you the light**

**Don't ignore  
** **Listen to me now  
** **You need never feel broken again  
** **Sometimes darkness can show you the light**

Both teens sat in stunned silence as the song ended with a click from the SDAT. Ignoring the aggressive tone of the music, the message felt more pointed than ever before.

"'The truth is there waiting for you to find it'," Asuka repeated. "Mein Gott."

Shinji was barely able to pick the pencil up, so unnerved by what he'd heard, "It's like it's _telling_ us this is real."

"Can we take a minute before listening to it again? I, I feel like I need a minute."

"Yeah," was all Shinji could say in agreement. The song felt physically intense, and unnerved the two in more ways than just one. After a minute of quiet contemplation, Asuka spoke first.

"Do you think it was the cello playing? Or was it, I don't know, _waiting_ for something?" Asuka asked, laying her upper body on the table.

"What do you mean by 'waiting'?"

"Like I said, I don't know. Maybe the trigger needed to be at the end of the month? I mean, it's almost February. So, maybe it's more about the actual timing of it?"

Her line of questioning was sound enough, but there was a hint of something else behind it that Shinji picked up on, "I really don't know, Asuka. But, it really _felt_ like it was me playing the cello that made it appear. Why?"

"I was just hoping..." the redhead suddenly spoke softly, almost too softly to hear, "... that this would be solved before..."

"'Before' what?"

"Ach egal. If time is the trigger, then it doesn't matter."

Shinji decided to press forward, "What aren't you telling me?"

Asuka's eyes widened at the accusation and she bolted upright, "What?"

"I'm sorry," he backed off a bit, "I just feel like you're working on part of this without me. What 'doesn't matter'?"

"The timing of it is confusing, that's all. We got a bunch of songs at Myojo, one on Mt. Fuji, and then nothing for almost a month," Asuka explained.

Shinji agreed. It had been in the back of his mind for the better part of January, and clearly it was also in Asuka's. Neither teen knew whether they were working to prevent a cataclysm or not, and arguing over whether it was specific actions or simply time that triggered the next song didn't help.

Initially, it was easy to play this off as a fun winter activity with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, but there were enough hints that something darker was occurring that they couldn't pretend it was high fantasy much longer. The message felt clearer than ever before, and both Asuka and Shinji knew it: this was happening, and they need to figure it out.

After a few moments of terse silence, they shelved the meta discussion of the triggers and visions and tried to begin the song again to get the lyrics down, but Hikari interrupted, having let herself into the apartment in search of Asuka.

"Hey, Asuka, you need to finish packing: the train leaves in an hour."

"What?" Shinji could hardly believe what he'd heard.

"Schieße, I forgot to tell you," Asuka apologized. "Shinji, I have to go back to Germany. Tonight. I'm sorry."

"T-tonight?"

"Camille had the baby, almost three months early, and my father wants me back home," Asuka spoke carefully as she turned towards Shinji, taking his hands in hers, "I'll be gone for a week, maybe two, but then I'm coming back. I've already cleared it with Mrs. Horaki."

"I, uh, I guess that's okay. I wish you would've told me before, though," Shinji didn't answer her as much as the words tumbled out of him.

"I'm sorry, Shinji. I found out on the train ride back, and came straight here. And since then I was a bit..." she glanced at Hikari, "distracted."

_There's that word again._

"I'm gonna go pack, and then we can go to the train station together, okay?" Asuka punctuated the question with a peck on his cheek, signaling the end of the conversation. It didn't matter if it was "okay" or not, she had to go.

The redhead scurried out of the apartment, leaving only Shinji and Hikari. Sensing her best friend's confusion, the pig-tailed brunette sat in the unoccupied chair.

"She really did find out last minute: she spent the entire train ride back from Tokyo on the phone, talking to who I'm guessing was her father," Hikari explained. "At least she was distracted. Anything was better than the ride _to_ Tokyo."

"Why?"

"Ehh, Shinji, I'd rather not say..."

"Is she okay?" he asked.

Hikari sighed, "She spent the entire hour hunched over a toilet. It was not fun."

The boy raised his eyebrow curiously, to which Hikari responded nonverbally with a blush before looking away. This only fed his curiosity, "I don't understand."

Hikari shook her head again, trying to ignore the topic, but he persisted and she relented, "Some girls, when, uhh... when some girls aren't feeling well..."

"Did my cooking make her sick?!" Shinji asked, alarmed.

"No! No," she responded quickly.

"Are you sure? I tried a new recipe last night and I'd feel really awful if she got sick from my cook-"

"Asuka's on her period," Hikari blurted out. "And apparently she gets really motion sick when it happens."

The dining room was silent. Shinji was unsure what to say after that. All he could manage was a simple, "Oh."

"And _that_ is a very personal matter that I'm quite certain she wouldn't want me telling you," Hikari words had a soft point to them. "So this conversation didn't happen."

Shinji was silent again, nodding slowly in understanding. "She's coming back in a couple weeks?"

"Yeah, my mom's okay with it. She understands the need to go help out at home and make sure everything's okay, and I assume Asuka's just going to go straight to Myojo from here."

"That's a long time in Japan, then. She'll be here for, what, a full month before we're supposed to report?"

Hikari yawned and stretched, turning her neck left and right, "I don't know. Mom said it was fine, and I guess her father isn't too bothered by it. Which is kind of sad."

"Yeah, she doesn't have the best relationship with her family. Especially since Kaworu died, at least."

"Kaworu?"

Shinji sighed, having assumed she'd been told about Asuka's late brother, "Her brother."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Hikari apologized, knowing the similar situations would resonate with Shinji.

Not wanting to delve too much into Asuka's personal life without her present, Shinji decided to stand from table and pack his cello back up: it had sat on the floor since his earlier practice session.

As he put the instrument in its case, Hikari appeared behind him, "Doing some practicing?"

"Yeah, I had a lesson today while you were in Tokyo."

"How is Mr. Grant?"

"He's good," Shinji answered, standing the cello case up to haul to his room. "He..."

However Hikari was no longer paying attention; she was instead focused on an object lying on the floor between the coffee table and couch.

"What's wrong Hikari?"

The girl leaned forward and delicately plucked the item from its resting place. She held it up, turning and spinning it around. It was a golden can, crushed and folded over in the middle. There was white print all over it, but Shinji couldn't read it from his vantage point.

Hikari sniffed the opening and made a sour face before turning back to her neighbor, "Beer, Shinji? Really?"

His eyes opened wide, upset at the sudden accusation, "That's not mine. I've never even seen that before!"

The brunette stood from the couch, still holding the crushed can in her hand, "Are you telling me this is Asuka's? Is this what you two were 'distracted' over earlier?"

"No! I'm telling you, Hikari, neither of us did anything like that!"

"I highly doubt it's your mother's," she continued. "Especially after the history alcohol has played in this household..."

Shinji interrupted the line of thinking, "Hikari, for as long as you've known me, I swear to you: that is not mine or Asuka's."

"What's not Asuka's?" Asuka repeated asking for clarification, having returned to the apartment with her winter coat on, luggage in tow.

Hikari turned to the girl, empty hand on her hip, and confidently walked up to her, "Is _this_ yours?"

The German girl snatched it out of her friend's hand and looked it over, "'Yebisu'? Never heard of it. Doesn't smell very strong either."

"Asuka, I'm being serious."

"Okay okay, sorry," she apologized. "This isn't mine. It isn't his either. The only thing we've done is talk after he played cello for me."

Hikari stared at Asuka, trying to read her face. After a few moments, she turned back and did the same to Shinji who had joined them near the entryway. Having gained nothing, her glare faded and she put on a half sincere smile, "The junk food is bad enough, Shinji. You make better stuff than that. But, I truly hope you're not drinking."

Shinji held his hand up, "On my honor, Hikari."

"If you say so. Toss this in the recycling before your mom kills someone. Asuka," she changed topics, "packed up and ready to go?"

Asuka nodded.

"Ok. I'll go get my coat and boots on and we'll see her off to the train station."

After Hikari had left, Asuka and Shinji raced back to the living room. Somehow unnoticed by both of them, a couple foam cups and plastic trays belonging to cheap convenience store food sat on the floor, having spilled out of something. As Shinji picked them up, he spotted three more empty cans of beer under the coffee table.

Placing the haul on the table, both teens sat down.

"I never took your mother for a beer drinker," Asuka tried to break the tension with a joke.

"She doesn't drink. Especially after my father... let's just say even if she drank before, she wouldn't now," Shinji retorted.

"Sorry," Asuka said. "I was trying to make a joke. What about the junk food?"

Shinji chuckled, "Even less likely than the beer. She's proud of her cooking, she would never eat instant curry, or cheap ramen."

After a few moments of silence, Asuka asked the only question either could, "Then where did this stuff come from?"

* * *

Shinji continued practicing the cello, filling the apartment with music as much as he was filling his time waiting for someone would interrupt him. He continued to work through the Bach Prelude, the trigger for the last song and vision.

As he finished up the brief piece for the fourth time, Shinji opened his eyes, catching his mother standing and watching, the house phone in hand.

"Shinji, Asuka's on the phone," Yui said softly.

The teenage boy nearly leapt off of his chair, barely taking time to gently set the large instrument down, before racing across the small living room to his mother, "How long have you been standing there?!"

"She called just after you started."

"Why didn't you interrupt me?!"

"Because I wanted to listen, dummy," a tiny voice could be heard from the phone.

Yui shrugged and smiled, "She could hear you when I answered and asked if I would let her listen for a moment."

Shinji reached out and took the phone from his mother's hand, mouthing a silent 'Thank you', before putting it to his ear, "H-hey!"

He had barely spoken to the girl in almost a week, and could barely contain the excitement in his voice.

"Hey Shinji..." Asuka's voice was usually music to Shinji's ears, but something was different today: there was no energy, no life. It worried the boy greatly.

"Asuka! Is everything okay?" he asked.

There was a sigh on the other side of the phone, "My father doesn't want me to go back to Japan. He's upset and wants me to stay here with Camille and the baby..."

"That's okay, we only have a few weeks before we report to Myojo. I can wait for you until then."

Another sigh was heard through the phone, "Shinji... about that..."

The boy's heart dropped. The three words he never knew he feared were spoken, and he was powerless against them. Not only was he unable to stop them, but he was also unable to console the messenger on the other side of the speaker. All he could do was stand in stunned silence, as wave after wave of emotions crashed over him.

"I'm not coming."

* * *

Song: "The Light" by Disturbed


End file.
